To complain to neighbours smoking in the garden?

[Quickncjust4this]

Our neighbours have recently installed a canvas covered parabola thing in their garden, with one side (the side pointing towards our garden) left open.

They are now using this as an all seasons smoking shelter. Many times through the day and most evenings they are sat out there puffing away.

The problem is it is completely stinking out my house. The whole of our top floor now stinks of smoke. I've shut the windows be it is still coming in through the vents. I've bought new air fresheners which help but it's still awful.

As non smokers it's really unbearable for us I'm also worried about young children and the health effect to them.

Would I be unreasonable to ask them to stop, or at least to add a 4th panel to their shelter to reduce what reaches our home?

Great result!

Fuck me though Mumsnet has changed. Some people are so mean!

Everyone having little stupid digs about OP's qualifications, you're all coming across really badly. Just stop it. She clearly only mentioned it because someone said smoke drifting up and through the vents 'defies the laws of physics'.
Inverted snobbery is deeply unattractive. If people came on here and laughed at an OP for having no qualifications they'd quite rightly get slaughtered.

[quote SomewhereEast]@OverTheRainbow88

Oh give over. They're not "breathing in smoke". I grew up in a household where the adults smoked so heavily that the you could barely see the hand in front of your face in the kitchen of an evening and the 'white' walls were actually yellow. THAT'S breathing in smoke . I would actually have a sliver of sympathy for the OP if her language wasn't so hyperbolic - I mean living in a war zone is "really unbearable", not smelling some smoke[/quote]
I quite agree.

Where I live a lot of gardens stink of cannabis, they smoke nicotine as well but the cannabis smell covers the nicotine one, so OP might prefer cannabis smokers beside her instead?

I’m with the dissenters. I don’t doubt the smell of smoke and perhaps how it lingers on your clothes etc is unpleasant. If you stuck to that I’d be more sympathetic and on your side. But hyperbolic health issue claims about how breathing in smoke make me roll my eyes. Passive smoking is a real thing. It referred to the likes of Roy Castle who worked full time in an unventilated club in smoke but not comparable. You’re not a risk at all health wise so stick to you find it horrible. A neighbours cigarette is minuscule compared to the general air pollution you’re probably subject to continuously

They’re in their garden. Not forcing themselves into a cubicle and breathing the smoke into your face. Crazy to be concerned about it as a health issue compared to infinitely more other ones. You’re entitled to not like the smell and perhaps raise it with them as being a nuisance but cut the garbage out

It really wouldn't hurt to ask.

I’m with you OP - I HATE the smell of cigarette smoke, and I don’t want my son breathing it. Downstairs neighbour had a friend staying who smoked a lot out of window below ours and it stank the place our. Likewise next door guy smokes in the street outside and I have to shut our windows when he’s doing it.

Unfortunately you can’t really ask them not to smoke outside but I think it’s reasonable to mention it really bothers you and could they block off the side of the gazebo or whatever it is facing your house.

Plus missed the PHD thing. Even if it’s an unrelated issue I expect anyone who has obtained one to be intelligent, actually highly intelligent. Your health concerns about someone smoking in their garden are what I’d expect from an extremely unintelligent person

PS I suspect everyone having a go on this thread is either a smoker or lives with one so isn’t fussed

My point Vampire is the poster is not being unreasonable about not liking it but is being disingenuous when citing health issues. A neighbours fag wafting over the fence is not a health issue and they also say they have a PHD

Approaching neighbours is always difficult OP. But I think in this instance there is absolutely no harm in nipping across to your neighbours and politely asking if they would consider repositioning the gazebo (whatever it is). As long as you don't approach them all guns blazing you'll be fine - you're within your rights to bring this issue up with them. I'm sure they'll understand

God that would really annoy me, especially during covid

I don't think there's any harm in asking them, very politely

But I'd be prepared for them to not want to, possibly be offended or it not actually remedy the problem

Why don’t people read threads properly...
This has been resolved!!!!!!!!!

Glad your neighbour is so thoughtful & full marks for tact!

@snowplop horrid aren't they? Advice is usually to ignore people like that as it's clearly there issue not mine, but I do feel that makes it too easy for these people to feel they aren't doing any harm.
It's ok to disagree with a post, that's the whole point of aibu but nastiness is uncalled for.
Being nasty on the internet is as impactful as it is in real life, and I do hope that those who choose to be unkind on mumsnet consider how it harmful it can actually be.
You can be pretty sure that most won't be unkind to someone's face, they've probably been bullied at some point in their own life and it boosts their self esteem to come and be nasty here. I offer them my sympathy and hope they are receiving kindness in their real lives.
We need to call this behaviour out more on mumsnet though, it's become the norm and it's no better than playground bullying

Oops, posted there instead of their. I'll call it out first before someone comes along to query how I achieved a PhD with a dodgy autocorrect.
Fyi, some writing is worth checking, a post on mumsnet probably isn't...

[quote Quickncjust4this]@snowplop horrid aren't they? Advice is usually to ignore people like that as it's clearly there issue not mine, but I do feel that makes it too easy for these people to feel they aren't doing any harm.
It's ok to disagree with a post, that's the whole point of aibu but nastiness is uncalled for.
Being nasty on the internet is as impactful as it is in real life, and I do hope that those who choose to be unkind on mumsnet consider how it harmful it can actually be.
You can be pretty sure that most won't be unkind to someone's face, they've probably been bullied at some point in their own life and it boosts their self esteem to come and be nasty here. I offer them my sympathy and hope they are receiving kindness in their real lives.
We need to call this behaviour out more on mumsnet though, it's become the norm and it's no better than playground bullying[/quote]
Couldn't agree more ! MN used to be a place for (mostly) women to support one another. Yes of course people are sometimes so blind to the obvious that they need a bit of a kick up the bum with a forthright reply - but 'telling it straight' never needs to be rude or bullying.

The reading comprehension levels of some posters is also deplorable. With people obviously posting to try and trip up or pick a fight with any small aspect of a post .. and some completely imagined ! Your post was another example of exactly that.

At no point did I read in your post your hatred of smokers, nor a belief that you had 'a right' to demand they change their garden set up. It could not have been more clear that you wanted to know if it would be 'reasonable' to bring this up with them - to which the answer is an equivocal yes of course if done politely . As you have discovered.
In fact your greatest concern seemed to be trying to get a result that kept a good relationship between you and your neighbours.

I honestly believe that MN is becoming more and more detached from real life. Egged on by people who belong to a growing section of the online community who can only really be described as the 'professionally offended.' looking not to 'support' but to criticise another poster to 'score points' at all costs. Really really sad.

I am so glad your rl is 'normal' and you sorted this problem amicably. As a smoker I too would be mortified if my choices were inflicted on others and would of behaved in the same way as your neighbours.. because that's errr normal !

The unpleasant posts on this thread are uncalled for - but also probably come from the same mindset as those who drop contact from parents for the smallest reason, never answer the door, can't cope with people popping round without a formal invitation- and refuse to let extended family so much as see a new baby until they have 'bonded alone' for three months (pre Covid).. a world of such incomprehensible self absorption, that thank god - I have yet to encounter in real life.

Enjoy your smoke free home OP and as you say - the mean posters have obviously got stuff going on in their lives that sadly reflects their attitude to 'giving advice' and should be felt sorry for.

It's awful, I lived next door to a smoker once and I was constantly getting it in the house. You shouldn't have to shut your windows. Ask them nicely, they might move it.

I can sympathise. My next door neighbour smokes constantly in the garden and it seems to come through my daughters bedroom window whenever open. It also affects our enjoyment of my garden. I know there is nothing I can do but it is frustrating. If your neighbours are nice ask about the extra side!

YABU it's not against the law to smoke in your own garden.
We are living in a situation where are freedoms are being compromised on an almost daily basis, so I don't think it's worth risking WW3 over this with your neighbours.
Incidentally I'm saying this as a non-smoker😉

We used to have neighbours who gathered with their mates in the garden next door, all smoking heavily (sometimes weed) and I can sympathise. It was horrible and we couldn't go out in our own garden or have windows open in the summer. It's no joke and you are not being unreasonable. We just put up with it because they were unpleasant aggressive people who couldn't be reasoned with. Thankfully they moved.

I wouldn't say anything. Sounds a bit exaggerated to me and I'm a non smoker too.

Light a big bonfire with old tyres on it and other smelly things.