Abusing minimum wage workers is beyond pointless!

[CarrotCakeCrumbs]

There is a video circulating facebook of a man throwing a tantrum, tearing the coverings off clothes in a supermarket in Wales because the government has said that non-essential are not to be sold. AIBU to think that regardless of anyones opinions on this rule, whether they think clothes should be classed as essential or not, it is not the staff making these decisions and so behaving like a child in a shop is going to achieve nothing.

I've also heard pub staff being referred to as 'little hitlers' because they are asking customers to follow the guidelines by wearing a mask/social distancing/doing what they have to do to remain open. I work in a customer facing role and have been given abuse for not taking cash - a decision made by head office that I have no say in at all, I've been shouted at for not letting someone inside the shop rather than collecting outside (as is the policy at the moment) and many more customers being rude to me because they disagree with rules that I have no control over.

I have responsibilities I can't simply refuse to follow the rules, there are millions of people willing to take my job if I don't do it - upper management wouldn't give a second thought to replacing the lowest paid members of their workforce. I can't even afford to take a sick day, let alone lose my job completley and I know that their are thousands of other staff in the same position as me. I know people are frustrated, I don't necessarily agree with every guideline I have to enforce, but whether or not I agree with it I still have to do my job. Do people really think shouting at us is going to change anything, or is it ok to use us as verbal punching bags because we are so unimportant?

@EmbarrassedUser

YANBU but it’s not just minimum wage employees tbh. I’ve currently got an email in my inbox waiting for me where the sender wants to discuss something I’ve already told him I have no power over. I’ve already been off a week, got another week off next week and have no plans to respond until I return as I don’t wish to set a precedent. Literally all I’ll do is reiterate I have no power and re-refer her to the more senior person. I know she had said person’s email as they have spoken plenty of times before

Do you not see how different this is to what OP is describing? Channel 4 has had a series of ads on abuse of staff. I think the statistic quoted was 40% of shop staff have been physically threatened by customers!

The point is, a lot of the abuse staff get is justified to some degree

Balderdash. Quite frankly.

I didn't abuse the cunt but had to drop my basket and walk out because I could feel myself getting a little riled! The point is, a lot of the abuse staff get is justified to some degree. The customer dishing out the abuse has some grievance or other, and the staff need to be sympathetic to this and diffuse the situation, rather than aggravating it.

My DH works in one supermarket and a friend works in another. Since lockdown began, they and/or their colleagues have been spoken to like shit, shouted at, sworn at, coughed on, spat at, threatened and in two instances that I’m aware of, physically assaulted. There was definitely a cunt in your story. I don’t think it was the shop assistant.

There was definitely a cunt in your story. I don’t think it was the shop assistant.

Quite

Totally with you OP, after being called a stupid fat cow last week I finally snapped last week and told the customer to ' just fuck off and get out of the shop'.... to say he was shocked is an understatment.... he tried the usual 'I want to speak to the manager' line and I took great pride in telling him ' I am the manager and ive already told you to leave'.
However afterwards I felt really ashamed that I'd reacted l like that, he wasnt the worst person ive ever dealt with, for some reason he just tipped me over the edge.

@contrmary

I think it's understandable that abuse is directed at front line staff - they are the person enforcing the rules and they are the person in front of you.

Remember that employees are people too - they are not perfect, just like the customer isn't. I don't abuse members of staff myself usually, I have a high tolerance level for rudeness and incompetence, but there are times when this tolerance is pushed to its limits! For instance I made an honest mistake with the one-way system in Tesco, because I don't go round staring at the floor, and was shouted out rather rudely by the shelf-stacker. I was probably the hundredth person who'd walked the wrong way round the shop that he'd shouted at that day, but for me, it was the first time I'd "offended" and it was an honest mistake, therefore the rude tone wasn't very nice.

I didn't abuse the cunt but had to drop my basket and walk out because I could feel myself getting a little riled! The point is, a lot of the abuse staff get is justified to some degree. The customer dishing out the abuse has some grievance or other, and the staff need to be sympathetic to this and diffuse the situation, rather than aggravating it.

It's this kind of justification that keeps it going and makes it acceptable and even expected. It is not bloody well understandable at all, the majority of people know fine well that the person they're abusing has no bearing on the decision, they're not doing it to prompt change because they know the front line worker cannot do that, they're doing it because there's nothing to stop them and they are safe in the knowledge that they can and not have to answer for their behaviour, and quite often get a bloody apology and even freebies to boot! And even with a grievance, abuse is not justified either! You can raise an issue or complaint without abusing someone.

Service staff should not be the whipping boy of the public!

@Ilikewinter Well done. You did exactly right. I wouldn’t ordinarily advocate swearing in case it gets you into trouble but it sounds like he provoked you. Maybe he’ll think twice next time.

@Ilikewinter You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.

If customers would like to vent their anger I'm sure there are lots of us who can suggest a fair few politicians whose faces they should be screeching into, of pretty much every political persuasion. (Though the Tories are definitely winning this week's "Utterly tone deaf gilded bubble life on pretty much every count" vote so far. Just for a change.)

I have been a bit gobsmacked by the Welsh minister though, we live not that far from the border and sometimes have to cross it on genuine key worker business.

So you can buy booze but not a kettle?! Cigarettes but not knickers?! WTAF? Way to go, unelected chap-currently-in-charge-of-Wales roping off all the Hallowe'en stuff two weeks before Samhain.

Doesn't he know how many Wicca practitioners and the like there are in this part of the world? Well, if he suddenly starts going black and his face starts melting as if someone had made a little wax effigy it wasn't me....

@Ilikewinter

Honestly, good for you.
I have changed jobs before I got to that point, but I was damned close.
It's not ideal to treat anyone like that but in all honesty if more people did retaliate and refused to serve people who treat them like that, it might start to change.
Problem is that companies won't back their staff in stuff like this.
It is so bad for mental health to be constantly shouted at and abused. It got that bad recently that most of the people I know in hospitality/retail are commenting more on customers that are nice, and polite/civil than nasty ones as they're now in the minority!

Sadly, this is nothing new. Customer facing roles are subject to abuse by people on daily basis.

No abuse to staff is justified.
The point is, a lot of the abuse staff get is justified to some degree. The customer dishing out the abuse has some grievance or other, and the staff need to be sympathetic to this and diffuse the situation, rather than aggravating it.
Be aware of your surroundings, don't go out if you have "grievances or other" until you can control yourself. Simple.

It's not ideal to treat anyone like that but in all honesty if more people did retaliate and refused to serve people who treat them like that, it might start to change.

I absolutely agree with that. I've seen some smug cuntish behaviour simply because they knew nothing will happen to them. I've seen people break stuff on purpose and laugh about it. If you do that where I grew up you get charged.

So you can buy booze but not a kettle?!

Don’t disagree with your point at all and think the shopping regulations are silly, but I think the reason booze is deemed essential is due to alcoholics, the health service couldn’t cope with everyone having alcohol withdrawal or top of everything else. That’s why off licenses remained open during the first lockdown.

Even alcoholics need a cup of tea!!

@GirlCrush

Even alcoholics need a cup of tea!!

You could just give a cup to some of these pissed of customers. They must be emitting enough heat to boil the water with all that anger

I work in retail and particularly over the last few months people have been vile on occasions. The majority are lovely but there's always that "one".
I've found a good way to deal with people arguing over how much bread they can have, why can't they do this etc. The minute they start, I tell them to speak toi management, and repeat. If they get really arsey,I tell them to either email or write to management. And repeat. Lovely smile at the end with a cheery "have a lovely day", with an undercurrent of fuck- off you arse, sorted!
I'm getting good at it now.

Yanbu
My teens work in retail and a cafe and people have been abusive to them too. Totally unacceptable and I'm sorry to everyone that it's been happening to. As you say it's not the fault of the workers

I wonder if these vile people pick on workers because they know that can't answer back.

I agree.

Dd works in a coffee shop and people scream abuse when asked to put a mask on/sit down because it’s table service only and they can’t come to the counter. They can sit down without a mask, but if they want take away coffee at the counter they need a mask. So if they don’t have a mask she says sit down and I’ll come and take an order and you can take it away but the order mustn’t be placed at the counter. And they go nuts....say that the amount of time they’ve been there she could just have made the coffee and they’re in a rush, etc.

She does not make the bloody rules but nor does she want to be put at risk. She’s had people holding masks refuse to put them on and shout that she can’t tell them what to do!

Then people complaining the service is too slow. Yes, because she has to go to tables, take an order, back to the bar, make the drink, take the drink to the table. It takes longer!

@TicTacTwo

I wonder if these vile people pick on workers because they know that can't answer back.

That's exactly what it is TicTac, and if one of them reaches the end of their tether and does, well the old smug 'The staff were rude' gets trotted out. The hypocrisy of some people saying they're stressed and having a bad day and are only human as a reason to abuse service staff, yet will say it's unacceptable in any circumstances ever for service staff to even make a mistake, or in a lot of cases, just do their job! If it's not acceptable for staff to abuse customers no matter what then it's not acceptable for customers to abuse staff no matter what. Doesn't work that way in practice though, I felt like I was seen and treated as less than a fellow human being a lot of the time.

@TicTacTwo

I wonder if these vile people pick on workers because they know that can't answer back.

It’s why I always speak up when I see another customer say something dickish, I can’t be fired!

Recently an assistant in Primark was being hassled for not doing an exchange without a receipt and only when I said Primark has got really strict that the hassler gave up.

Worked in retail for over 10 years,it has always had it's shit moments but yep, working in retail right now is a fucking minefield.
I've given up asking folk about the masks due to the level of abuse I've had to put with. Piss heads going bonkers because of the no alcohol sales after 10pm rule. We are open til 11pm.That leaves a whole hour of folk being aggressive, rude and downright twats to us minimum wage staff.

And the lad in the video was acting up in a Tesco very near to us.

I won’t accept it and if I’m nearby or called to intervene I’ve started to be quite blunt

It’s great to hear the other customers back us up tho! Selfishness is called out regularly and any queue jumpers get told no! No way are we putting up with much more of this nonsense

I’m getting good at communicating with my eyes as masks hide a lot. Raising my eyebrows seems to work well