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Original poster

Summer babies

63 replies

desertmama1 · 24/10/2020 11:37

My son was born at the start of July and is due to start reception next year. I can't help but feel there is a lot of judgment about summer born babies. I wasn't educated in England so this is all new to me. I feel like I have done him a disservice by having him in July!!! AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
desertmama1 · 24/10/2020 17:41

Thanks so much for your replies. Guess just a worried mum who wants the best for her boy (and has too much time to think at the moment...!) We will just wait and see how he gets on in his current nursery setting which he will start in January.

As a family we are not completely tied to England so can consider other school systems, and perhaps Scotland may be a very good a option!?!

OP posts:
Original poster
desertmama1 · 24/10/2020 17:45

Oh and as for the judgment... where I currently live birth month seems to be a very popular topic of conversation, 'oh he will be one of the youngest in the year'. Like people feel they need to make it known to me. As if it's almost a self fulfilling prophecy.

OP posts:
Gillian1980 · 24/10/2020 17:48

My daughter is an August baby and had only been 4 for 3 weeks when she started reception - she was still “my baby”.

But she had no trouble at all in school and there is such a range of age and ability across her year that she really didn’t stand out in any way.

sst1234 · 24/10/2020 17:57

OP, this is one the strangest non issues ever posted about. Who’s judging? When did it become a problem? Please tell us, it is genuinely perplexing.

UsernameSpoosername · 24/10/2020 18:01

I have a July born also starting reception in September. I am not in the slightest bit worried! If you are, keep him back a year...? I don’t think anyone really judges you for being so selfish as to create a summer born 😂 Summer born birthdays are great, imagine the parties in the sun! I’m a very jealous October.

Itllbeaninterestingchristmas · 24/10/2020 19:38

I’ve 2 summer borns. DS will start reception next year and will be fine academically,I’m a bit worried about the social and emotional side. He would be bored doing another year of nursery and the reception class he will go to is very much play based and small numbers. Some local schools are very formal from reception and if we had been in the catchment of one of those I would have held him back.

Mintychoc1 · 24/10/2020 19:44

DS1 was born at the end of August. He has always been the youngest. In fact, some years the term has actually started before his birthday!

I delayed his reception start by a term, because back in those days you couldn’t defer for a year. It was absolutely the right decision for us, because in the September he really wasn’t ready.

He’s now 15 and will being doing GCSEs next summer. He’s clever and has always been in the top sets. He’s also popular and has always had friends. But being the youngest doesn’t suit his personality. He’s naturally cautious, and being the youngest has exacerbated that.

Even now, in his 12th year at school, he still acknowledges that he’d rather have been born a week later and be in the year below.

But as you can see from other posts, everyone’s experience is different.

QueenofmyPrinces · 24/10/2020 19:45

My son is a summer born (mid August) and will start school next year only 10 days after he turns four years old.

I’m dreading it. He looks so tiny.
I’m so worried he’s going to get left behind and he will be a huge disadvantage for the duration of schooling due to his birthday.

When we were TTC my husband kept saying that he didn’t want a summer baby (he’s a teacher) but Sods Law, after 11 months of TTC I conceived in December.

When I told my husband I was pregnant, after the happy and excited response he said, “That means we are going to have a summer baby doesn’t it.”

A boy in my eldest schools year was a summer born child and he struggled throughout the Reception Year. When the rest of the class moved up to Year 1, this one boy had to stay behind and repeat the reception year because they said he just wouldn’t be able to cope with the Year 1 work.

It was so sad, the little boy was so upset as he saw all his friends move up whilst he got kept behind.

The memory of it haunts me Sad

shinynewapple2020 · 24/10/2020 19:56

I don't know what you mean by judging .

I think early years education can be harder for summer born because of the way school terms are organised

My DS was August baby and didn't start school until the April before he was 5 (LA procedures ). This was good in that he didn't start in Reception too young but did mean that he went into Y1 after only one term of Reception followed by Summer holiday Y1 was also a lot more formal than Reception and struggled for a while .

I think by Y3 he'd caught up and was fine

shinynewapple2020 · 24/10/2020 19:57

Cracking up here - his birthday is June not August!

Buddytheelf85 · 24/10/2020 20:12

Believe it or not, people do make comments about it. I remember when I was pregnant and due in July a particularly obnoxious dad-to-be (whose child was due in April) gave me and my DH a long speech about how summer borns were always behind academically and in sport, but I shouldn’t worry too much because the difference evens out when they’re 21.

He’s stopped doing that now - our children aren’t school age yet but when our son was born weighing about twice what his did, he seemed to lose his appetite for weird pointless competitions.

I think it’s ok OP. In our area they allow you defer reception start for summer borns - would that be an option for you?

Monr0e · 24/10/2020 20:12

My DS was born mid August

Academically he is now in all top sets however I did find emotionally he wasn't always as mature. He coped brilliantly at primary primary but did struggle a bit going into high school.

He seems to have caught up now though. I have never experienced any kind of comments or judgement.

CherryPavlova · 24/10/2020 20:19

We had lots of comments but moved in circles with lots of teachers.
Statistically, summer babies fare worse throughout their school years and beyond. It is only a statistic though.
Our summer borns (end of August) thrived. They’d have been bored to tears deferring for a year. Its about seeing the individual not the statistic.

TheRealShatParp · 24/10/2020 20:34

I have a July born and never have I felt she or I were judged. What do you mean by that?

TrainspottingWelsh · 24/10/2020 20:59

Dsd is late August born. It's never been judged by anyone, but it has made some things more difficult for her. The gap at school reduced over the years, but being a year younger has nearly always been a disadvantage. At least until this year, because she narrowly escaped the a- level fiasco and got a normal start to uni life, which wouldn't have happened if she'd been born a week later.

CliveIsAlive · 24/10/2020 21:03

Yep there absolutely is judgement. I'm a late August born as is my DD. I've chosen to decelerate her and she will be starting in reception when she has just turned 5. You do not have to send your child to school until the term after their 5th birthday which for 'summerborns' would be the term after they are 5 so technically when they start Y1. Have a look on FB if you do not want to send yours at just 4.

QueenofmyPrinces · 24/10/2020 21:29

Does anyone know what the Facebook group is called regarding deferring starts for Summer babies?

Shantotto · 24/10/2020 21:32

Please join the flexible school admissions for summerborns on Facebook - you’ll get lots of advice about deferring if you feel that is too young for your child to start. Yes reception is play based but then year 1 becomes a big shock and difficulties can arise then. There was no way I was sending my July born to school at 4 and a few weeks! We start school far too early here and it’s mad you have to go almost a year before compulsory school age if you happen to be born in summer!

BangBux · 24/10/2020 21:34

I had a June baby and had the same worry and we discussed "red shirting" him (i.e. putting him into reception at 5 instead of 4 so he wouldn't be the youngest and be behind).
Then we realised, DH's sister is an August baby, she's a doctor and scored the highest mark in her year at medical school. One of DH's cousins is an August baby and went to Cambridge and is now doing his PhD, his other cousin is a July baby and went to Bristol and got very good grades.
It's really not the issue that people make it out to be.

Shantotto · 24/10/2020 21:38

@QueenofmyPrinces

Does anyone know what the Facebook group is called regarding deferring starts for Summer babies?
It’s called flexible school admissions for summerborns.
sallievp · 24/10/2020 21:43

My birthday is August 31st...I was always ahead developmentally of everyone in my year! Have gone on to have a successful career. Try not to worry!!

pigcon1 · 24/10/2020 21:43

I would certainly hold a summer born back if a non issue there are always outliers but if you look up the below summer born children do worse throughout their education.

Summer-born pupils What's the evidence

LG101 · 24/10/2020 21:46

I’m a july baby and I have a masters it’s not really affected me. But you know what gets my goat???

I have to work nearly a whole year more than some people in my class before retiring. They got an extra year at home playing with toys. 🤣😂

Nonamesavail · 24/10/2020 21:50

August born son and yes I do wish he had an extra year. Just done gcses.

Seaswims · 24/10/2020 21:55

We delayed our son who is June born. England is one of the few countries that start children in formal education at 4 years old. It is too young! I work in primary school and you can definitely see a divide in social emotional maturity between summer and autumn borns. There is a great Facebook group called 'Flexible schooling for summer borns' or something like that which is fantastic to ask questions and educate you on the current legislation. Many counties are fully supportive of deffering summerborns, they will go into reception not year 1 when they start so will not be disadvantaged, quite the opposite!

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