How to be a more interesting, charismatic person

[Kiara1237]

It might be in my head but just have this feeling that people find me just 'sweet' but nothing else, just kinda dull and unexciting.
I do try, I talk about current affairs, funny stuff, I like to try new things/places, I do sports, speak other languages etc.
Men always seem to prefer the dramatic, toxic types who treat them awfully.
I've seen men going crazy years later for some girls who were borderline abusive, nobody compares to them and I don't get it.
I'm naturally a little quiet/shy/very laid-back, but I feel like i'm lacking something.

I'm not sure about men but I always think someone is charismatic if they make you feel special, they ask you questions, remember the answers and make you feel interesting and important. It has nothing to do with their achievements or credentials.

You cant become charismatic. I think charisma is innate, it's a combination of voice pitch, mannerisms, body language and facial expressions.

The women you describe generally use "shit show off the rails" behaviour to disguise a lack of depth and personality. There are men like this too. It's why their relationships are short lived.

Yiu sound great OP. Dont change.

Thanks for the replies.
I've been dumped before for being 'too nice'.
I've been out with a guy who was constantly talking about an ex who both cheated and abused him, talking about her a lot whilst he was with me.
I feel like if you're just nice, honest and straightforward they don't want that, they want someone who gives them a hard time and acts uninterested, and that's not me.

I try to make others feel special and seem interested in them, maybe i'm just over thinking everything.

Don’t change yourself for a man! Especially one who keeps going on about their ex!

Don’t change yourself, you sound lovely & it’s a great quality to want to make people feel seen & important. It’s just a case of finding the right man who is deserving of you & who also makes an effort xx

OP, let's flip the question here. Are you attracted to guys who are very outgoing and dynamic so they find you too quiet in comparison? Are you giving the shy, nice guys (who might be a better fit for you) a chance?

@Newuser123123

I'm not sure about men but I always think someone is charismatic if they make you feel special, they ask you questions, remember the answers and make you feel interesting and important. It has nothing to do with their achievements or credentials.

I disagree with that. The most charismatic people I know are pretty self-obsessed. Sounds like you're talking about charming people.

I suppose if I thought someone was self - obsessed I wouldn't consider them charismatic? Semantics I guess.

@Newuser123123

I suppose if I thought someone was self - obsessed I wouldn't consider them charismatic? Semantics I guess.

The most charismatic people I know are self-obsessed. Maybe we mean different things by charisma. To me, it's a kind of feeling around someone, like when you walk into an office and you can tell who the boss is straight away even if they're dressed the same as everyone else, not sitting in a big office or anything like that. They will have an 'air' around them. Most successful politicians have charisma, but they also generally have big egos. I'm pretty sure if you met some of those you'd consider them charismatic.