Challenges of your 30s

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If your in your mid 30s how are you finding it?! What’s your main challenges? For those of you in your 50/60s plus do you have any advice for those of us in our 30s?!
It seems to be the decade where the most important decisions have to be made! And there’s balancing work, maintaining a good relationship, friends, extended family, children if you have them. It seems like a more scary decade than my 20s, anyone agree or am I overthinking it?!

Just so many balls to juggle and people expect more from you as you can’t just write things off as being a feckless 20 something anymore...
I also suddenly became very aware of my own mortality and it weighs heavily on me at times.

We have a toddler and are dealing with secondary infertility and therefore ivf.

It's a pretty hard decade I think

I'm 38 now so really late 30s. I found my 30s much easier than my 20s. Felt more confident and I've achieved a lot. My main goal was to get on at work and I have managed that. I probably spent to much time working tbh and now I sort of regret that as I've missed other experiences. The biggest challenges I found are comparing yourselves to other people. At this stage financial differences become very apparent. I have some friends from very wealthy families who have bed given literally hundreds of thousands of pounds.

I know others who are just mega successful. It is hard sometimes not to feel inadequate. Same goes for people settling down etc. You can feel a bit left behind.

Biggest decision was kids. I sat on the fence for ages but did it. Now pregnant with my second. First pregnancy was easy. This one is awful and I think it's because of my age. Wish I'd done it all sooner.

I’m mid 40s and I felt it’s in my 30s I found my confidence. In my 20s I felt inadequate compared to my university friends who are much more successful in their jobs. By 30s I have stopped the comparison and happy with my circumstances. It’s a change and can see clearly it’s what made me a lot happier. I no longer felt bad that I don’t have the most impressive job title, the biggest house, the nicest handbag.

No advice really. I think it’s just growing up.

I'm 33 and find 30's so far a whole heap easier and more pleasant than my 20s. As for challenges - there is comparing where you 'should' be in life in terms of home ownership, children careers. Looking around at others who seem to have achieved more and the reality that this is the first generation in many that are worse off than their parents.

I'm 34 and so far this decade has been very tough. Just before my 30th birthday, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness which has left me housebound for the majority of the past 4 years. My career has been severely impacted and I'm single. It's really hard watching everyone else's success with marriage, children and high-flying careers. I also struggle with the fact that friends are now less available for friendships due to these various commitments, although I am glad to see them happy of course.

As a previous poster mentioned, I think it's a decade when divides become more obvious; divides between how much people earn, whether they have children, etc. I think people are also more confident to be themselves and make their own way in the world which can take them in different directions and section them into a different part of society.

By your description I would have said I had all of that in my 20’s really not 30’s, my 30’s seems to be a whole other struggle, I’ve got back to education so perhaps I’m doing life topsy turvey.

Speaking from my advanced age of 46, the main thing is just not to compare yourself to anyone else, it is utterly pointless at any age we all do things in our own time. Don't depend on someone else for your happiness, be happy in yourself above everything else. Then a relationship is a wonderful bonus.

More confident but aware I'm losing my looks

My 20s were a blur of partying and climbing the career ladder, I was also in a really stable long term relationship..

Fast forward to my 30s, I switched career, lovely long term relationship fell apart, and I've had to start all over again.

I've spent the best part of the last 2 years in a heartbroken blur of sadness. But that has improved a lot as time has passed, and I've had quite a lot of fun dating too, something I missed out on being coupled up throughout my 20s.

It's been incredibly tough at times, but I'm so glad I started again. My new career is going really well, I have a lovely group of friends and although I'm still single, I'm hopeful that I'll meet someone.

But yeah.. So far my 30s has been far more challenging. It's the decade you face up to all the things you put off in your 20s, as far as I can see.

I'm a lot older and agree that when I was in my 30s it was a lot more challenging than my 20s, even though I started house buying at 25. Being made redundant three times probably was the main thing.

I mostly enjoyed my 30s, we bought a house and had two kids so baby, toddler and primary years, both DH and I had jobs that went up a level by the end of our 30s, and so we were very very busy. I made some lovely friends and we had some fun holidays, but mostly we were just fire fighting business the whole time. Pretty sure there are jobs unfinished, pictures unhung etc that were t here when I was 29!

Now early 40s and things are a lot tougher. The kids are easier, but covid/homeschooling/massive work pressures are taking a real toll, I and lots of my friends are starting to notice physical things going wrong - back, knee, elbow niggles - and weight gain is a real issue.

So I guess if I had any advice it would be: try and carve out some time to enjoy your 30s, to appreciate what you have. And try to get into a habit of some exercise and healthy-ish diet and sleep habits, because my god it gets harder and harder 10 years later.

Oh, and divorce is everywhere in our early 40s.

Im enjoying my 30s much more than my 20s, but that's because I had my children young and they're now at an age where I can have a social life again.

"Struggles" for me is the constant comparing of other people of my age. People I went to school with who own their own 4 bedroom houses, have their 2020 Mercedes and pedigree puppies, whereas I am still paying off debt from my abusive marriage, most of my furniture is second hand and foreign holidays are an elusive luxury. So, that can be hard to swallow at times. But rationally, I know that my comparisons are very one-dimensional and I have no idea what the other peoples lives look like away from Facebook or Instagram. On a down day when life feels hard, its not always easy to be rational. The grass is always greener, as they say.

I'm in my mid 30s living with my parents. I'm not sure it's what I wanted but I am more aware than ever about money and savings etc - and this works for me financially right now.

I want to find a partner and have a life with some, but I don't think I want kids.

Questions and labels loom more somehow!

Also, it can be harder to make friends at this age.

I found my thirties really hard, had three children (started at 30).

So for me they were years of no sleep, feeling crap, then onto sitting in a boiling hall for swimming lessons, after school clubs, feeling like a taxi etc etc.

Much happier in my forties!

I am about to turn 32 so early days but my 30s are awesome so far. I did degrees, marriage, DC and house buying in my 20s. My DS is now of an age where he is easy going and fun to spend time with and I am getting to do more of things i enjoy again.

For me my 30s are a time to relax and enjoy a gentle family life.

I'm enjoying my 30s. I'm in the second half of them. My 20s were a bit manic but not really in a fun way. I didn't travel - I did a Master's and a PhD, became very sick, got married. I was divorced at around 30 so I had to start again. Fortunately no kids and it'll stay that way. I was also very skint, having done an extra degree, so watching my peers and younger siblings get ahead financially. However, I have more than caught them up in the last 5 years. I'm looking forward to end of my 30s and into my 40s. I'm just a bit fatter than in my 20s...! Just don't compare yourself to anyone else; that way madness lies.

Take risks. Don’t settle.

I met my DH when I was 33, we got married and bought a house when I was 34. I hated my job, although loved the sector, but got a new one when I was 35 which has worked out really well. I'm 39 now and mostly my 30s have been great!

The difficult bit has been that friends have moved away out of the city, several quite far away, and I miss seeing them regularly. It's harder to make new friends I think, and some of my friends are so busy with small children that they don't reply to messages. DH is wonderful, but friendships are really important as well!

I turned 30 in May and I was really looking forward to it. My 20s were a blur of moving to a new city, working, studying, driving tests, travelling, getting married, getting a house. I look back and wonder how I managed it all at times!

I feel a lot more confident and content in myself. When I first moved to this city the only person I knew apart from my now-DH was my cousin, so she took me under her wing and I slotted into her friendship group. I felt so inadequate compared to them (a medical doctor, a senior social worker, a regional manager in a marketing company, to name a few) but I now realise that I was 24 and they were all 30. I've accomplished so much in the past few years and am as "impressive" on paper as they were then. However, life continues to evolve and they've all had babies, which is a next step I'm not planning on emulating

I'm looking forward to (hopefully!) a more stable, secure decade than my 20s were.

I agree it does seem harder to make friends in your 30s, in my 20s I think I had a lot more friends based on going out rather than close friends, and now I’m not wanting to go out clubbing but would like more friends to go for a coffee with!