To ask- what's the secret to stop worrying about work?

[WingsOnCats]

My life is often a living hell due to anxiety about work. I worry I will lose my job, and every time something changes I worry about the repercussions. I have serious imposter syndrome too and I worry I will soon be exposed and people are constantly trying to trip me up.

I worry about it every evening, all weekend and on holidays. I don't like taking holidays as I worry what will happen when I'm not there.

Is there a way to get over this?

Have you tried seeing your GP about this? If it’s seriously impacting your life then perhaps you have an anxiety disorder? There are lots of options for treatment. I’ve suffered with this kind of thing in the past and have found medication personally very helpful but I know others who have found cognitive behavioural therapy useful too. It can help to give perspective on the things you are worried about... good luck.

Are you WFH at the moment? Are you new to the role? And if not have you always felt like this?

I have always taken my job seriously and worked hard to try and produce the best stuff I can, but since lockdown and WFH I have had many sleepless nights over minor things that wouldn't usually register. The temptation to log back on in the evening and the blurred lines between home and work have not helped at all, and most days I am tempted to hand my notice in- but remember we are about to head into a recession! I actually have found what works for me is very set boundaries in terms of working hours; writing lists- I list in the morning what I need to do (not exhaustive, but the major things I have been worrying about), and then tick them off as I go along, and check before finishing I have done everything that was urgent, and needed to be done soon. It helps me see what I have achieved, and less chance things will fall between the cracks that then become problematic and stressful. Also I spoke to my boss and said I was struggling a bit, not with the work itself, I am actually doing more than ever- but the balance and feeling anxious, overwhelmed and stressed.

It could just be though that the job isn't suited, I loved my old job but it wasn't doing my MH any favours, and I regretably left, which was a shame but I felt better almost instantly. Not an easy option at the moment I know.

Your anxiety does sound disproportionate. I second the idea of seeing your GP to discuss options for managing it.
If it helps at all, age has made me less bothered about work. I have far more perspective on life now. I need to work - I’m not rich by any means - but I can see that a lot of stuff I would have worried about in the past just isn’t worth it.

It's unlikely these feelings are only related to work. None of what you are describing are healthy responses to stress and sound like an over-sensitive "fight flight or freeze" response i.e. some kind of anxiety disorder. Anxiety is a normal human emotion/response and very useful for some situations. But when it is firing on in ways you're describing, that is not healthy or helpful.

My strategies for managing unhealthy stress responses are - counselling, exercise, mindfulness, crafting and medication (an anti-depressent that works well for anxiety disorders). Trip to a good GP will help. I suffered all my life, having no idea my thought patterns were really destructive and limiting. Finally got it under control in last 5 years and it's been life-changing.

I used to get anxiety at work in a v fast paced job. I get bad anxiety generally , but I found a daily list calming as I look at the ticks of completed stuff (also dated ,if anyone asks did you do so & so as it's impossible to remember every tiny thing).It makes me feel in control & that I'm making progress. Urgent stuff got asterisked, so I knew at a glance what to prioritise. I now prefer to right click on emails & add flags for at a glance view. Red flagged emails for urgent, green for do when you can, blue for not urgent. As soon as it's done I file it in an email file re that project . Once I get home I don't think about work as I know it's 'in habd' &not getting away from me. I do stuff I like as distraction: decor hacks on You Tube, watch crime documentaries,study etc.

*in hand not in habd!

I have the same issues but have been diagnosed with OCD and anxiety. I try to think fatalistically as in what does it really matter, sometimes it works sometimes it doesn’t

Oh you poor thing, this is not just about work it’s about having overwhelming anxiety. You need to see your GP for some help. Antidepressants can work wonders for anxiety as can other drugs and cognitive behavioural therapy.
You won’t need these for life - just to get your anxiety to a a manageable level.

I agree with the advice above about writing stuff down. Especially if you wake up at night worrying. Write it all down, every thing you are worried about, then go back to bed. I find it helps me stop thinking about things and get back to sleep, as it’s all written down to deal with in the morning when I am feeling less anxious and panicked

But also talk to your GP!

Goodness I would love to know this. I’m going on mat leave in 3 weeks and the thought of handing everything over is terrifying. Following in case anyone has the secret!

Goodness I would love to know this. I’m going on mat leave in 3 weeks and the thought of handing everything over is terrifying. Following in case anyone has the secret!

I loved handing over for mat leave, it was great haha. I think my advice would be to just make sure the handover is as best as you can do in the timeframe, and try and think about what info you would have found useful if you were doing the cover. Maybe start now, write a list of whay you have to handover, file it or organise it, and do it bit by bit. Give yourself a cut off point, a few days before you final day or whatever to have everything in order, and then you need to try and draw a line and just not think of it anymore. If the cover has already started or when they do, send the stuff/do the handover if possible, and give them time to review and come back with questions; this also then gives you time to make sure your out of office is on, HR staff is squared away and all that kind of stuff and you've covered everything. Make a list of what you need to do, tick it off when done, and if it helps then take the list (but nothing else) back with you so you know you've done everything you can. The rest of the team can probably help if need be when you are out of office, but you'll be fine :)

You could be describing me in your OP. In my case, i think its compounded by perimenopause and contraceptive pill, as I've noticed it abates a little on the week off the pill, but I'm planning to talk to the GP as I can't continue this way. Its exhausting, you have my sympathies. If its a new thing perhaps you might be able to pinpoint a cause?

Weirdly, this is exactly how I feel, too.

Sympathy.

I totally empathise OP, I also struggle with imposter syndrome and constantly feeling like I'm going to be in trouble for something at work (I have no idea what)! I noticed it was giving me a horrible anxious pit in my stomach all the time. I tried writing lists before bed and checklists etc. but ultimately had to phone the GP as they only temporarily helped me. Been on fluoxetine for a week now and my anxiety is miles better! I know antidepressants aren't for everyone but they have worked wonders for me.