Does this happen to you?

[Ori3]

Within minutes of meeting someone they tell me their deepest troubles. What they feel, traumatic events in their lives, their life-journey, bereavement, marriage breakdowns, issues with TTC, miscarriages, infidelity. Almost like the kinds of open/truthful/self-reflective discussions you would expect with a trained counsellor or psychologist.

I know this happens occasionally to everyone but it happens to me all the time. Complete strangers. People at work, strangers in the street, at the supermarket, at the pub. It's only very recently that I've become more aware of it but when I look back, I realise it's been happening all my life.

I seem to trigger some kind of soulful response in people and I find it puzzling. Does this happen to anyone else? If it happens to you what do you make of it? Do you think it's a "gift" or is it just a weird quirk of personality? What do you do in these scenarios? I just usually end up listening whilst people tell me their deepest and darkest. Stuff that's so private, they would probably not even contemplate telling some of their close friends.

I just find it interesting how I seem to provoke this kind of response in people I've never met before!

My DH has this gift. We think he must have been trained as a spy at some point then hypnotised to wipe his memory of it. He went to drop off a letter, just a street away, that had been wrongly posted through our door. Came back over an hour later having had a full house tour and family history from the occupants plus some left over samosas that they had made that day

This happens to me all the time. I think it's because I don't come across as much of a gossiper and I will quietly listen to what people are saying.

It happens to me all the time, and my brother and mum too.
We think it's because we have quite "open" faces, big round eyes etc. Also we smile easily.

No but the minute people know I’m a nurse I get their bowel habits, full medical history, experiences...usually bad during their last brush with a Dr, nurse, hospital, clinic, surgery, operation, plus that of their family and friends...same information.

So fit that reason I never ever reveal what I do for a job.

This happens to me also, people at bus stops, in the post office queue and my mum is the same!
I've had people tell me about their brain tumour/alcoholism/suicide attempts literally within minutes of meeting them!
Once at a kid's birthday party another mum who I'd only just met poured out her whole life history including all her worries about her DH. I listened sympathetically but when I next see her she blanked me and then avoided me at school events for the next 5 years! As if she thought I'd tricked her in some way!
My mum and I just put it down to put friendly faces and we are both quite plump haha so I think we seem approachable maybe.
I'm always getting asked for directions too!

Yup! I clearly have one of those faces. Had a man sit down next to me on the train once and launch into an hour long retelling of his estrangement from his son, his stint in rehab getting clean from heroin, and his eventual family reconciliation. Had a lady in the GP cry on my shoulder about a lump in her breast while I waited for a midwife appointment. Just this week a lady in the queue for Sainsbury’s told me she was buying dog food to donate to the food bank because she’d just lost her pup and it made her feel better.

I’m generally quite warm and empathetic so I don’t know if it’s a vibe I give off, or if I just happen to bump into a lot of oversharers!

Yes, me too. I will never get my head round it, I don't know what it is about me that apparently screams "unburden yourself". I wish people wouldn't! I changed my commute home about 18 months ago because a woman who always got the same bus as me had progressed from telling me her problems to bringing her bank statements on her journey for me to look at etc. I had signposted her repeatedly to services who would give her the input she wanted from me and she wasn't listening.

Not me (RBF)

But yes definitely my mum. She has it lots. She's very friendly and always looks well put together. So I think that makes people want to talk to her.

I always get people who want to discuss the meaning of life which is hilarious as I 1. Just think of us as another species on a planet and 2. believe the key to life is to just roll with the punches and take a wing it approach to everything .

Yes.
I think some people do inspire confidences.
It is common.
Strangers find it easy to unload to someone they have never met before and will never meet again.

A bit like a confessional.

Yes, and I have never really minded.

I have had a lot to deal with myself and was unable to go out much before the whole lockdown happened, both of which have shielded me somewhat, though even Covid, masks, social distancing & my avoiding peoples gazes hasn’t stopped it.

I had a lovely chat with an elderly lady in the supermarket just last week and you know it did me the power of good as much as (I hope!) it helped her.

I think I will be more mindful of my own mental health in future though, chats are one thing, doing the signposting and more involved help, which like unmarked points out can also be a ‘thing’, well, I’m just not fit for it.

I don’t know if its a look or a gift or innate ability, I just think its a nice thing that makes life a bit more friendly and interesting all round.

@Brogues

My DH has this gift. We think he must have been trained as a spy at some point then hypnotised to wipe his memory of it. He went to drop off a letter, just a street away, that had been wrongly posted through our door. Came back over an hour later having had a full house tour and family history from the occupants plus some left over samosas that they had made that day

@Brogues Ha! That really made me giggle

And, yes, I'm also forever having total strangers unburden themselves to me within 7 minutes.

"Wise eyes", apparently, according to last oversharer.
Make of that what you will...