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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

COVID related absences

14 replies

RobynsMama · 23/10/2020 14:53

Fully ready to be told iabu but I just need a moan really. My colleague at work is self isolating as her 4 year old has a cough. Again. The very first time her daughter was ill with a fever she was fretting about having to take time off and if it would be unpaid, taken out of annual leave etc. But in our trust if you have to self isolate because you or a family member have COVID symptoms the leave is paid until a negative swab result, or for however long you need off of positive.

Her daughter has a new COVID symptom and she’s off self isolating with her it seems every single week now. It takes a day to arrange a swab, another day to get the result and then she’s back for one shift and it starts all over again the next week.

Now I know you can’t help when kids get poorly but it’s just happened So Many Times now I think she might be taking the piss a bit. She’s literally working one shift a week atm and being paid her full time pay for it. Her daughter will be having to have COVID swabs every time too. I think she forgets she has some of us on Facebook because a couple of times when they were supposedly self isolating there were pictures posted of them out at a cafe or the park.

I know I should be minding my own business but if a member of staff is off it leaves us all short and it boils my blood the thought that she might be milking this system to her advantage. Am I i unreasonable to be annoyed? should I inform my manager of the Facebook posts. Or just leave it. It’s really eating away at me as you can tell

OP posts:

Notplannedforthis · 23/10/2020 15:00

I'm usually of the opinion that people should mind their own business and I hate how Covid has turned people against each other, I also think some kids are much more prone to fevers and temps than others.

However, they're either isolating or they're not. Providing the pics were definitely taken when they should be isolating and not just posted then, it's not on!

My worry is that trusts are going to stop offering this support if it's overused and it's going to leave other genuine families struggling.

Merryoldgoat · 23/10/2020 15:03

But I don’t understand why she’s isolating if her daughter has no positive test and she has no symptoms.

Daughter has symptoms, daughter gets a test, it’s negative they crack on.

I’m finding the inability of people to follow basic instructions quite hard work.

Fajitanita · 23/10/2020 15:03

I was about to say YABU, as many of my friends with little ones in childcare are struggling at the moment with the steam of colds that are being sent home, and even though they know it's more than likely just a cold, they're obviously being responsible and isolating until testing etc. But if they are posting photos on social media of being out and about them that is unfair, and as a PP has said, will unfortunately probably lead to trusts re-evaluating their policies. This is why I don't have anyone from work on social media, as I am not a manager I can afford to just accept people are off for the reasons they say they are, I don't have to worry about it, have distrust or whatever and I make sure not to be in a position to find stuff like this out.

JaggedRag · 23/10/2020 15:05

DH has a reasonably similar situation. He's a teacher, was at school for one week then another teacher in his department confirmed positive and he was told to isolate for two weeks. A few weeks later, I got a cough and was sent home from work so he missed two days while I got tested. He was put on official absence review. I think it's insane because he's not missed a single day that wasn't Covid related and only missed two days that weren't the school telling him to stay at home - not to mention, he worked from home delivering his classes online so they're hardly an "absence" anyway.

Hahaha88 · 23/10/2020 15:09

How do you know the pics were taken when she was isolating though? I regularly upload pics days after they were taken so it would look like I did that thing on the day its posted. If you know for sure they happened on that day, I..e she's commented saying we had fun at the park today then absolutely call her out on it. Otherwise I'd leave well alone

Hahaha88 · 23/10/2020 15:09

@JaggedRag

That's harsh of them

JaggedRag · 23/10/2020 15:13

@Hahaha88 Yeah, it is. He's literally never missed a day that wasn't Covid related and now he's not being given the time off to do our adoption training so we're having to postpone being able to adopt until he's off review. He's literally had two days off that weren't the school insisting he stay at home, it would've been illegal for him to go to work AND he worked from home. It's baffling.

Rowgtfc72 · 23/10/2020 15:16

@JaggedRag this what I'm worried about. I had a weeks annual leave during which dd was sent home to self isolate. Symptons by sunday followed by a positive result and were due to end our isolation sun. However I've woken up with a cough and no taste or smell so have tested this morning. That's potentially another 14 days for dh. Work are ok at the minute but we'll see what happens when we get the results.

Weve not been out though. And wouldn't. Self isolation means staying in.

JaggedRag · 23/10/2020 15:20

[quote Rowgtfc72]@JaggedRag this what I'm worried about. I had a weeks annual leave during which dd was sent home to self isolate. Symptons by sunday followed by a positive result and were due to end our isolation sun. However I've woken up with a cough and no taste or smell so have tested this morning. That's potentially another 14 days for dh. Work are ok at the minute but we'll see what happens when we get the results.

Weve not been out though. And wouldn't. Self isolation means staying in.[/quote]
Honestly, I think employers are being dicks at the moment. If anyone came in with a cough then they'd be mad at them for risking the spread of Covid and if anyone with a cough stays at home then they're taking the piss. I think a lot of places are just using it to guilt people into giving up things like holiday or mat leave that they're entitled to.

Janek · 23/10/2020 15:32

@jaggedrug Your DH should speak to his union, that's really not on!

StealthPolarBear · 23/10/2020 15:35

"- not to mention, he worked from home delivering his classes online so they're hardly an "absence" anyway."
Yes if he worked from home he worked!!

Original poster

RobynsMama · 23/10/2020 16:20

If you know for sure they happened on that day, I..e she's commented saying we had fun at the park today then absolutely call her out on it. Otherwise I'd leave well alone

See it was literally a caption like that “daughter and her best friend Lola (her teddy) conquered the big slide at the park today” I hadn’t thought anything of it until those posts popped up. Now it’s really cheesing me off. I don’t have kids but I too worry about the provision being taken away if people start to abuse it.

OP posts:

Original poster

RobynsMama · 23/10/2020 16:22

@jaggeddrug

Thats absolutely terrible. If he was working from home how can they legally put him on absence management

OP posts:

Ponoka7 · 23/10/2020 16:27

I'd ask her if she had a nice day out and see what she says. Is it possibly a case of not having childcare and her DD can't go to school?

She might give you an explanation if you start the conversation. It might help how you feel things.

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