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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that schools are a toxic working environment?

39 replies

Piwlyfbicsly · 22/10/2020 21:36

AIBU to think that? I don't want to be outed, so I will just say that I am a SEN TA (after a career change), I enjoy my actual job a lot, but am not enjoying the attitudes of some colleagues who made my life a living hell to the point I struggled to fall asleep in the night going through all the abuse I have received during the day.
Your experiences are welcome. I will never give up my job. It's quite low paid and it's not easy, but I love what I am doing and want to make it last.

OP posts:

HeyBlaby · 22/10/2020 21:39

Not a teacher but sounds just like hospitals! You're not alone

GuyFawkesDay · 22/10/2020 21:40

Am a teacher, yes they can be.

Used to work in business and lots of staff get away with behaviour that wouldn't be tolerated elsewhere. Management can be awful too.

But mainly it's the workload and dealing with rudeness from kids and some parents that makes it toxic.

Subordinateclause · 22/10/2020 21:42

I work in a lovely village school where people couldn't have been more welcoming. Not all schools are the same.

FourEyesGood · 22/10/2020 21:43

I work in a school and I don’t find it toxic - my immediate colleagues are very supportive and lovely. However, I know that some other schools are really awful places to work, and I’m sorry that you’re having such a tough time.

Lavanderrose · 22/10/2020 21:44

Yes I know so many teachers who’ve had to go on long term sick leave because of bullying head teachers.

Flightsoffancy · 22/10/2020 21:44

Yup, I'm a teacher and am lucky enough to work in a wonderful school, but I know how toxic they can be and the knock on effects of that. I've been there. Please stick with it and move schools as soon as you can, a good school will change everything. Good luck and I'm sorry for what you're going through x

Allmyfavouritepeople · 22/10/2020 21:44

Yes incredibly toxic.
I remember reading on here about a bunch of teachers sitting through a suspected gas leak because everyone was too scared to leave. The OP was called a troll but I could well believe it happened. Something happened in my school yesterday that was similar in terms of clear and apparent (but unseen) danger and the response from grown adults was just bewildering to watch. I did do something about it.

Not quite what you meant OP but for me the toxic culture can come from the top.

BoattoBolivia · 22/10/2020 21:49

Please don't believe this is normal. I have worked in many schools and none of them have been toxic. I know they exist. In my experience, schools are a bit strange because you spend so much time with such a small group of adults, so if one of the adults you work closely with is a bad apple it can have a disproportionate effect.

Original poster

Piwlyfbicsly · 22/10/2020 21:52

@Allmyfavouritepeople
In my school I feel like all the toxicity is coming from people who worked at school for 20 years and more. I feel lime I can't challenge them as it's not an equal fight, if you know what I mean. The head and the deputy are actually quite nice people, but my fellow colleagues mentioned above... I've been shouted at, they refused to say "hello" for months on end. They refused to provide materials or do the training for the certain systems even though it's their responsibility to do that (they have been instructed) and my own work suffers through what they are just refusing to do. I've been also used by the classrooms I don't work in (yes, I know you don't have a TA, but I am actually working in the other classroom and can't deprive my SEN child of my time to enable you to go fix your issues...unless I have been instructed to do so my my actual management).

OP posts:

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/10/2020 21:54

My school was a supportive, friendly environment until there was a change of Head (previous Head had to leave through illness) when it became toxic. I left quite soon after as I was old enough to retire but, apparently, it continued to get worse and almost everyone I knew has also left.

RoseCider · 22/10/2020 21:55

@Lavanderrose

Yes I know so many teachers who’ve had to go on long term sick leave because of bullying head teachers.

Our last Head was an absolute bitch. So many teachers were long term sick and she blamed them for not being ‘`robust`’. She’s now retired and our new Head is lovely, it will take a long time to undo the damage the last Head caused to many staff. The old Head tried to visit three weeks ago and she was kept at the door. Good riddance to bad rubbish as far as I’m concerned.

Original poster

Piwlyfbicsly · 22/10/2020 21:56

@Piwlyfbicsly
Thanks, I will try my best to make it work in the current place/support the child I am working with through the year (at least). I believe it can change for the better, but I am open minded about changing schools. Unfortunately, my choices are limited as I have to work local and my children are still young themselves. I will have more freedom in a few years time.

OP posts:

PurpleFlower1983 · 22/10/2020 21:57

My school is the opposite but it depends where you work.

AragonsGirl · 22/10/2020 22:11

I left my previous school because of awful
management and hideous arse licking colleagues. My current school is lovely!

catnoir1 · 22/10/2020 22:19

There are more toxic schools out there than lovely ones.

TeamLucille · 22/10/2020 22:19

Any work environment can be toxic. It's only an unhealthy issue when you can't easily and quickly move to another job.

Aragog · 22/10/2020 22:23

It depends on your school I think.

My current school has a fantastic staff team and, under normal circumstances, it a a great place to be. Obviously it's much harder now and the team are split up into different bubbles. It's not the same and it's quite sad actually.

I've worked I a different, much bigger school and it wasn't great. The staff didn't really mix, there was negative staff morale overall and management weren't supportive. It wasn't a nice place to be.

FloreanFortescue · 22/10/2020 22:28

Yes they definitely can be. That's why 'resilience' is my least favourite word.

Definition: deal with it.

catnoir1 · 22/10/2020 22:29

@FloreanFortescue I hate that word too.

TheVanguardSix · 22/10/2020 22:33

My goodness, OP. I wonder if I worked at your school. I worked at an SEN school here in London (SEN block in a mainstream school- so completely, physically separated from the mainstream but on the same site). I just couldn't cope. The kids and families were amazing. The teacher I worked with was absolutely wonderful. In fact, there were many lovely staff members. But overwhelmingly, I was surrounded by people who did not welcome me, did not say 'hello' to me, spoke down to me as if I were one of the students myself. I hated it. Morale was zilch and the headteacher was a completely toxic nightmare. I think everyone was on edge. Nobody mixed. Nobody chatted. We weren't allowed. If I came in three minutes early I was considered late. It was simply awful.

Chocolateandamaretto · 22/10/2020 22:35

OP do you work in the same school as me??? Our SENCo is an awful bully and has members of her team in tears regularly. And has just received a promotion to Assistant head....

I agree that schools can be toxic. It’s probably an unpopular opinion but I’ve met a lot of teachers who are poor managers of adults, I know not all but there’s often a tendency to treat their subordinates like naughty children and it’s not appropriate. When you get good ones they’re worth their weight in gold but a bad one makes life miserable for everyone.

Cloudtraffic · 22/10/2020 22:36

OP not worked in schools (in UK) but have very close relatives who do - can’t understand why you are apologetic of your career choices or excusing bullying as part of job. I love my (non-teaching) job but if I had to put up with this snide behaviour I’d be a bit more verbal - though accept that’s not always easy!

blue25 · 22/10/2020 22:41

Yes, often very bitchy places with a lot of staff bullying.

Scarby9 · 22/10/2020 22:42

If you possibly can, move schools.
As others have said, not all schools are like this - there are some fabulous collaborative and supportive schools out there. Try to find one - life is too short for you to be so unhappy about work and you can't change the toxic culture yourself if management won't.

Original poster

Piwlyfbicsly · 22/10/2020 22:43

@Cloudtraffic
I am an ex-high flyer with a very good education profile, but due to relocation and being a SAHM for several years my previous career can't be recovered. I've made a lot of effort to find this new job, and to be retrained into it too. I feel very vulnerable and I can see that others may feel it too. I know that if I push back, it could be turned against me. Also there are enough of people who are lovely at work, so I feel like I have to just wait it out and everything will fall into place. However, I know they way I am treated by some people at work is just unacceptable.

OP posts:

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