To feel bad I’ve annoyed her

[Iftheclouds]

My cousin asked to use my address to register with our amazing local surgery. I’ve said no for a number of reasons. She’s angry with me as she says I’ve got no reason to say no. She said people commonly use others addresss for this purpose. I’m not convinced that’s true.

I think you need to be more assertive. You’ve told her you’re not comfortable with that, and that should be it. Don’t feel bad for not allowing yourself to be pushed into things you don’t want to do. Clearly she doesn’t respect your wishes, so why should you waste energy on someone who doesn’t respect you enough to understand your perspective?

She is trying to commit fraud, and is not a nice person if she would give you grief over this, plus, you are overly invested in a relationship with someone who is trying to use you. Just let it go, and stop giving her headspace.

You could offer her the opportunity to transfer your gas and electricity bills into her name. That would give her some evidence of living in the area. Of course, she'd then be liable for your bills...

It is fine for you to say no (and in this case you did the right thing) and it is fine for her to sulk (even if you did the right thing).

Incidentally, if people really did this so happily, she could ask anyone in the catchment area. Doesn't have to be you, right?

@Iftheclouds

I don’t want my relationship to be affected with her as we got on so well.

She is asking for address fraud to gain advantage of some type or wouldn't be asking you. She doesn't live with you at your address. Is she homeless, sleeping on someone's sofa? If she has her own place, all you would be doing is creating a paper trail that can get you into trouble later (eg if she uses it to get credit cards, claim benefits, get school place, fails to pay debts, uses it for her driving licence) and can be hard to disprove if it subsequently affects your benefits or council tax etc because there's a trail

GP surgeries can turn down registration requests if the person lives outside their boundaries

I am unclear why you concerned she is cross with you for not agreeing for your cousin go falsely claim she lives at your address. She should be more worried about how cross you feel that she has gone on about it when you said No

This is your THIRD thread. Just tell her to REGISTER AS AN OUT OF AREA PATIENT

It’s fraud. Take a stand and if she’s annoyed at you then tough. I’m guessing you’re not very old and so what everyone thinks of you really matters to you. As you get older this matters less and less. Please let this moment help you grow a backbone. You’ve said “No”. Now stick to it. She has to accept it. End of and move on OP.

So what if she's annoyed at you?

Is it a physical or mental health condition which her current surgery is not handling very well?

@Cocklepops

Is it a physical or mental health condition which her current surgery is not handling very well?

Even if it is, it’s probably not the only surgery she could register with. Unless she lives very rurally.

I posted asking for views if I should let her. I’ve now said no and she’s annoyed with me.

You will make sure to start another thread for the next exciting stage, won’t you? Will the cousin reply to your next WhatsApp? Will she send a Christmas card? I’m on tenterhooks!

Even if it is, it’s probably not the only surgery she could register with. Unless she lives very rurally.

No one lives too rurally to register for a doctor’s surgery. Every address has to be within an NHS catchment area.

Physical she’s got chronic pain. A number of diagnosed health conditions.

@Iftheclouds

Physical she’s got chronic pain. A number of diagnosed health conditions.

That's irrelevant

She registers using her address with the local GP surgery
If she's unhappy she can try to register with another GP surgery that accepts out of area patients
Her address - ie if she uses yours- will be the one used for all medical support and if she has chronic pain might get the wrong health trust involved in follow up services that turn up at your house and a cost to the wrong GP practice . It is address fraud

That's how it works and you are right not to go along with it, it neither helps her, you nor is fair on local GP surgeries or health services

I don't get the angst OP. Nor why you keep going over same simple decision

Are you very young or do you have some mental wellbeing or anxiety issues?

You said No for good reason so leave it there and stop going round in circles. Who cares what she thinks?

We are under the same health trust forgot to add that. Which is why she’s annoyed me as she says it make no odds.

Please read these comments and take them on board OP. Your responses suggest you’re still unsure.
Stick to your correct decision. Her issues are just that - hers. They can’t be solved through making you commit fraud.

Are you okay? You’re very obsessive about this. Maybe have a bath, read a book, cook something, phone a friend. It’s not healthy to get so hung up about an absolute non-event. Or keep asking randoms on the internet for their feedback.

I am sure it’s just she’s making me feel guilty.

Oh I have an idea. Tell your GP she intends to do this and to be on the lookout. Then tell her you are fine with it (verbally not in writing). Then if she gets found out say it must be because the doctor phoned her old doctors practice plus when you register the baby it must’ve rung alarm bells about two people registering from one house.

I don’t know if she will do it with me open disagreeing with her. She’s now messaging me examples eg people that have moved and didn’t update their address.

Just reply “I’ve said no, and I mean no. Stop pushing me about because you want something I’m not prepared to do”

Then ignore

Does it not bother you that your cousin is refusing to respect your wishes and accept your decision? I’d be really mad if someone was hounding me in this manner! She is trying to bully you into doing what she wants: stick up for yourself, OP.

@Iftheclouds

I don’t know if she will do it with me open disagreeing with her. She’s now messaging me examples eg people that have moved and didn’t update their address.

How old are you? As you sound 16 and three quarters...

Just put your phone down. Turn it off. Delete her texts tomorrow. Stop mithering over it all on MN with updates about a non event and go occupy yourself more positively

No, GP surgeries are not happy when people lie about their address
Nor are hospital consultants or any of the other health teams including your baby's HV who would see your relative linked to your address at your GP surgery

It's a no brainier to say no snd takes 3 seconds to text her to stop badgering you about it or you'll block her

Why are you asking for advice here OP when you are ignoring it? Block her messages if they are getting to you.

I’ve messaged her and said I’m not willing to discuss it further and muted her now. So hopefully she moved on from it.