Returning to work after Mat leave

[LG101]

Help, the sad emotions of returning to work are starting to creep in and I could cry! I don’t want to waste the end of my mat leave being miserable.

I’ve done this before but I was so sad when I returned to work, I don’t hate my job I hate how much my kids are in nursery. I hate the running out the house in morning at 7.30, the stress of the job then picking the kids up at 5.30, shoving food down their throats and doing bath / bed time. We get no quality time during the week. Then weekends are full of cleaning / catching up from the week and trying to fit it family time. I feel like we are on a merry go round and there is hardly any downtime.

I have requested part time (2 days) but I’m 99% sure it’s going to be rejected because they think my job can’t be done as a job share and waiting to find out in the next few weeks.

I’m looking at getting a cleaner and invested in a slow cooker.

I cant afford to quit my job so I am going to be looking for another part time but it’s a bit of an odd time job searching plus I have to pay back a lot of money if I don’t go back for atleast 6 months.

Any suggestions on how to cope and not be a blubbering mess?

Bless you! I am in the same boat and about to go back. I did manage to secure my 2 days, as I went in for a meeting a couple of months ago to discuss flexible working options. Have you done this? I also subsequently messaged to say I had arranged childcare for specific days, and would be able to increase this in the future when my baby is older (possibly a bit bullish, but I went for it).

Just remember that you are entitled to request this. If they can't accommodate 2 days, is there a chance you are able to work remotely on a third or fourth day? Having an open conversation should help alleviate your concerns.

It's really tough, OP, I remember feeling like this when my DD went into nursery at nine months. I also feel permanently resentful that most of my DD's time is spent at school or with a childminder.

I don't think there are really any short-term fixes for it, you just have to go through it. Remember that its totally natural for you to feel like this but it doesn't mean its not the right thing to do.

Keep in mind that:

a) Your child will be fine and once in a routine will be happy in a nursery
b) You will be fine once you see she is fine
c) You are far far better off working than not for so many reasons. In the long-term, the distress of the transition to nursery is more than compensated for by the financial freedom and independence you get and the resilience of being able to provide for your children.