Or is this antenatal care not good enough?

[murkoff]

First baby, high rusk pregnancy. 34 weeks.

I’ve had a telephone consultation with midwife at about 7 weeks.

Then 12 week scan, then 20 week scan. Bloods done at 28 weeks. Then 32 week scan.

Surely I should be regularly seeing a midwife and be having some sort of consultation about giving birth? I’m starting to get very stressed and anxious.

Do you have handheld notes? What (if any) contact details are on those?

I totally believe you and am appalled.

rolo shall we leave it there, you’re upsetting me a bit. I don’t know how many times you want me to repeat like an idiot that I have?

Thanks pur I just feel really stupid now, maybe you do need to be proactive but it’s easier said than done when you ring somewhere and they ask what you want and you don’t even really know

There are contact details for things like support to stop smoking and so on but while there’s a number for the team of midwives it’s very difficult to get through and when you do they refer you elsewhere (usually the antenatal clinic) but when you ring them they refer you back to the team of midwives! Rightly or wrongly OH and I just decided that it was shit and left it as I felt like a fool. But I thought I was going into labour last night and it brought back the old worries!

Birth plans aren't normally discussed until 36 weeks because if you went into labour before then it wouldn't be to your plan anyway.

If you're worried about labour you can do your own research. Read the NICE guidelines, look into birth companies/online courses, and antenatal classes. You'll need to have an idea of what you want before your midwife appointment anyway, they can't decide for you and it's better to educate yourself so you can ask the relevant questions.

Yeah I’ve tried thanks but it’s a bit meaningless at this stage because I can’t get anyone to listen to me or believe me.

Assuming you will have a midwife appointment at 36 and 40 weeks that does sound fairly reasonable (I think for first pregnancies there might be one at 38 too?)

I'm second pregnancy so different but had booking phone appointment at 8 weeks, 12 week scan, 16 week five min catch up phone call, 20 week scan, 28 week midwife appointment, 32 week midwife appointment, 36 week appointment and then 40 weeks if I get that far

2 scans is normal unless consultant led for a particular reason. If you are considered high risk and are consultant led though you should be seeing a consultant I think

I have spoken to a different midwife at every appointment and think that is a Covid thing but it's not really felt any different to having one in first pregnancy as she had a lot of mums and probably didn't remember me especially. It's different midwives at the hospital for giving birth anyway

This sounds like it's really stressing you out and pregnancy can be a very stressful time so you have my sympathy! My midwife info was on my written notes that I had to take to each appointment- do you have these? This is from the NHS website to help make a birth plan but PPs are right, it gets discussed at 36 weeks so you aren't behind www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/how-to-make-birth-plan/

Good grief that is very poor!

It is not good enough. As an alternative would you consider NCT classes instead, lots of these have moved online now?

And @howaboutchocolate is spot on, if you go into labour before 37 weeks that's classed as premature and your options are more limited so a birth plan wouldn't help you there so much.

OP where did you meet the midwife for your first appointment? If it was the hospital you’re due to give birth in then call there. If it was the community mid wife I’d call them directly.
It’s pretty simple, as far as I can tell you want to know when your next appointment is - is that right? They should be able to tell you.

The ‘my midwife’ label is a bit misleading. It’s not a person. It’s a team, you just get whoever is free at the time.
I’m high risk and have seen a midwife once. Booing appointment was by phone and they don’t check the heartbeat in my area, nor do they do GD checks. I’m higher risk due to an issue in a previous pregnancy and due to my age. The age thing is just that you have increased risk of chromosomal issue but you’re passed that stage now.
I’m not expecting to see a MW again until 36 weeks when I’ll get measured have more blood tests (only as I have anaemia) and they’ll check the baby is the right way round for popping out. Then I’ll be left to it unless I go over due.
I suspect you’re on the same kind of track. Hope that helps. If in doubt call.

Whereabouts are you OP?

Merseyside, one

When you have had your scans have you had your blood pressure checked and done a urine sample?

As others have said, it is usually at your 36 week appointment that your birth wishes are discussed. Has that appointment been made? Often when you are high risk you no longer see your original community midwife as you are being seen at the hospital so these become your routine antenatal appointments.

I think people are misunderstanding what I mean by birth plan. I’ve seen a few people desperately want water births, and so on and been unable to have them so I’m not fussed about that. What I am worried about is that i could sustain a major injury through giving birth and I do think 36 weeks is too late to talk about that.

[quote KatieKat88]This sounds like it's really stressing you out and pregnancy can be a very stressful time so you have my sympathy! My midwife info was on my written notes that I had to take to each appointment- do you have these? This is from the NHS website to help make a birth plan but PPs are right, it gets discussed at 36 weeks so you aren't behind www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/how-to-make-birth-plan/[/quote]
I came on to say the same thing about the link to the NHS website. That’s what I used for my birth plan & found it helpful to figure out what questions you want to ask.
It certainly sounds like some appointments have been cancelled due to COVID because I had more than that with my DD last year however you do need to push for some things. For example my midwife didn’t mention my birth plan at all until I did but was then happy to discuss it with me. Sometimes you just have to ask the question.
Familiarise yourself with the signs of labour and the number to ring for when you think that’s happening. That’s the most important thing to know. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy OP.

So are you wishing to avoid a vaginal delivery and want to discuss the possibility of a cold section?

I don’t know, monroe, I have no more idea than probably you do. This is why I need to discuss it as a matter of urgency IMO.

@murkoff it sounds like you've had some medical advice in that respect (is it due to a medical condition/previous injury?) in which case can you also speak to the specialist for that to find out their advice in that respect ready to discuss with midwives?

If it means you require a c section then the midwives will need to know in advance to book it but they may not necessarily know whether or not it's required if they don't know a lot about your condition

I’ve had nothing. I don’t even know why I’m surprised that it’s different when you have a baby!

OP, are you seeing a Consultant regularly instead of a midwife? If you are high risk often you see a midwife very little antenatally though usually more than you have.

Yes but I mean how do you know you are at risk for a major injury? Is it because of a condition or previous injury? The medical team you were seeing about that may be able to advise further

Then I suggest you need an appointment with a consultant, your midwife can advise but it would be a decision you would make with your consultant if it was a section you wanted. Generally you should have seen one by now, usually after your scans. Do you have another scan booked? I would do as others have suggested and try and contact either the community or hospital team and request an appoint ASAP and spell out to them you are considering a section and need to speak to someone about it.

Oh that makes so much more sense as to why you want to discuss it now OP - yes ring the community team, say you're considering a C Section based on an old injury and get them to make you an appointment with a consultant(?)

Previous injury but never got to see a medical team, just Tramadol and Diazepam and Pregablin and Naroroxen. None of which helped or which I want to be taking with a new baby!

I'm 29 weeks low risk, 2nd baby & so far have had exactly the same as you with my 32 weeks can coming up in a couple of weeks-
Just for comparison