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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

6 weeks pregnant - TW

42 replies

Willoway · 20/10/2020 09:26

Hi all,
Posting here for traffic and quick answers. Not sure if this needed a trigger warning but I put it just in case. I'm a bit all over the place and need some advice.

I'm around 6 weeks pregnant and woke up this morning to blood. I had a bit of pain in my abdomin so phoned my GP who has made me an appointment this afternoon at the early pregnancy unit.

Does this mean I'm having a miscarriage? The doctor was reluctant to say anything, but I feel this is it. I'm in bits.

Please help.

OP posts:

ladycarlotta · 20/10/2020 23:03

At this stage a lot can change in a short time - and if you are a few days out in your calculations, or you ovulated later than you thought etc, then the embryo/pregnancy could well be further behind than expected, hence not necessarily seeing much on the scan. Take heart, OP, this might not be the end.

I know what a rollercoaster this early stage can be, and how heartbreaking pregnancy loss is. I don't know if it helps you to know that after 3 early miscarriages I finally saw a heartbeat at the EPAU and now have a lovely toddler. Doesn't change my sadness for the ones I lost, but there can be joy in the end too. Whatever happens, I'm thinking of you and hope that you get your happy ending.

BlackeyedSusan · 20/10/2020 23:03

lots of women have been where you are, it is really shit, and different people feel different things. it will be tough for a while, take care of yourself.

TildaTurnip · 21/10/2020 06:46

@Willoway

Thank you. I will definitely update as soon as I know anything. I feel like I've lost my baby already, I've come home and haven't been able to stop crying.

I feel so guilty, like this is all my fault. I know it's stupid but I went to Google, and not seeing a sac or fetus on the scan at 6 weeks plus is normally a sign of a miscarriage. But surely if that was the case they would have told me when they didn't see anything at the scan, wouldn't they?

Your kind words and comments have helped more than you know today. Thank you all

I found the EPAU doctors didn’t say anything much one way or another until they were certain. They were very supportive though. Initially they told me I was miscarrying (they didn’t see the second twin sac to begin with) and I too blamed myself. The doctor gave me a really firm and blunt reply that helped me to see it in no way was my fault. I don’t think it was a standard NHS script reply but it hit home and I was thankful to hear it.

Original poster

Willoway · 21/10/2020 15:13

Afternoon all,
I spoke to the hospital today and have an appointment tomorrow for a blood test and will then from the results have a plan.

The hospital have tested my blood yesterday and my hormone level was 79. At 6 weeks it should be 1500 I think she said. They will compare it tomorrow.

Time is going so slow.

OP posts:

wishing3 · 21/10/2020 16:48

I know that you can't help feeling how you feel, but whatever happens it is in no way your fault. You'd never think it was someone else's fault if you heard that they were in the same situation, so try to be kind to yourself. xx

ThatsHowItStarts · 22/10/2020 17:22

Hope things went OK today 🙂

Original poster

Willoway · 22/10/2020 17:36

Hi all,
Unfortunately I'm not updating with good news. It was confirmed today that my hormone levels were practically zero and I was in the process of a miscarriage.

My DP and I are devastated. We're lucky that we have very supportive family around us. I'm not really sure where to go from here. I know it was only 6 weeks old, but I feel like I've lost the most important part of myself.

I have a 2yo DS so am trying to keep it together until he goes to bed. Any advice on where to go from here is very much appreciated and again, thank you all for being so kind

OP posts:

LavaCake · 22/10/2020 17:48

I’m so terribly sorry OP take plenty of time to look after yourself and give yourself space to heal mentally and physically.

howtobe · 22/10/2020 17:50

Sorry OP.

I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks a few years ago. It’s awful to deal with.
Hugs to you xx

BiggapTwins · 22/10/2020 17:50

TheKeatingFive · 22/10/2020 17:52

Im so sorry OP. Take care of yourself.

Youreatragedystartingtohappen · 22/10/2020 18:04

I've been where you are and it's a miserable bleak place to be. All I can advise is that you need to be kind to yourself and look after yourself, if you feel angry be angry, feel sad be sad etc. There's no right or wrong way to feel or any time line you ought to be following.

Sending you love xx

Trousersareoverrated · 22/10/2020 19:55

OP just be kind to yourself. Cry it out, have a glass of wine, hug your 2yo tight. Take some time out. If you want to get pregnant again there is no reason why you won’t be able to do so in your next cycle as long as the doctors give you the ok. This is so so common and it doesn’t mean there is any higher chance of it happening to you again than anyone else. So many women go through this and you are not alone- have a look at the miscarriage board on here, there are lots of women who are going through the same thing reaching out to others. It might bring you some comfort to talk to them.

Imworthit · 22/10/2020 21:07

😭 So sorry 💐

wishing3 · 22/10/2020 21:58

I don’t have any advice but just wanted to say how sorry I am for you. Xxx

BlueSuffragette · 22/10/2020 22:06

So sorry op

PiccoloPies · 22/10/2020 23:18

Any advice on where to go from here is very much appreciated

Sorry OP.

The only advice I really have is to just let yourself feel how you feel. Don't tell yourself you're overreacting or you need to put on a brave face.

It's shit, truly shit there's no other way to describe it and all you can do is ride out the shitness until it starts to feel a bit better one day x

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