To wonder if my subconscious is trying to tell me something?

[CutToChase]

Twice in the past 7 or 10 days I have had dreams of my DP (who is a very nice and good natured person) being scary or violent.

It has really freaked me out!

I dont have any reason to be worried. But is my subconscious trying to tell me something? Why else would I be having these dreams?

No. It was a dream.

But dreams surely cant be completely random!

Dreams can absolutely be random. I’ve had years of therapy and explored nightmares with my therapist. They are your brains way of making sense of things you have seen, heard or thought about. I also was told your brain is more active when you sleep than when you’re awake. Don’t know if that’s true. But dreams like this don’t mean anything.

I kept having a reoccurring dream that Spandau Ballet took me into a cave and shot me because I knew about their smuggling. It hasn’t happened

But on a more serious note, your dream doesn’t mean your partner will be violent. I can’t tell you the amount of reoccurring dreams I’ve ever had and they never come true.

I used to dream I could fly other than becoming a bird or going a plane I can't think of anything to be concerned about or the fact in my dream means I open my front door and there is an ocean there, or the fact I have had a horse talk to me...it is a dream!

Why would you need to be worried? unless your brain has seen something you were not aware of about your partner which I do not think is humanly possible then not sure what you think your dream is telling you?

It doesn't mean they are going to be violent towards you but maybe you fear you are losing control of something in your life?

Dreams are essentially your subconscious filing things you’ve seen/heard/thought/experienced. That filing can be in any random order, sometimes they do give us clarity on a situation because they show us a different perspective, but when you get dreams like this what’s mainly happening is some memory of abuse you’ve heard about or seen, read about here etc, is being filed at the same time as memories of your DP. That’s all. They can’t magically tell you something about him you don’t know.

My recurring dream involves a T Rex and a tribe of murderous Cherokee warriors in my childhood back garden. I don’t think it was a deep meaning.

I’ve had dreams where I can literally see where the 3-4 seemingly unrelated bits of information have come together in one thing, because my brain is processing that bit of filing - either things I’ve seen on TV, spoken about with someone, read, witnessed, all getting put together. Fascinating, but not magical insight.

I think it means you’ve experienced aggression from someone/something you previously trusted.

I have these kind of dreams and it just my brain trying to make sense of something that has already happened.

I was once furious at dh for not prioritising the safety of the children when we were attacked by a dragon.

What the dream was actually about was my feeling anxious about the kids going back to school and me not having all the things they needed sorted yet.

I find that my emotive dreams are processing the feelings I’m trying to ignore. It sounds like you’ve got some anxiety going on in your life and so your dreams are giving you something to focus that anxiety on. If your dh has never been anything but gentle, then the fact that he’s in it is completely irrelevant, he’s just there because you saw him before you went to sleep.

When I was pregnant the first time I dreamt I went to Thorpe Park with prince Harry and we went on tidal wave. I don't think that is ever going to happen!

It may be your subconscious working through something, but very unlikely it’s actually an indication of your husband’s true nature. Dreams manifest our anxieties in all kinds of weird ways, there’s little logic to it. If your husband has never been aggressive or violent, a bad dream about him is absolutely no reason to think he would ever actually be otherwise.

Some dreams have meanings sure but it’s not normally what the dream actually is.

So a dream about losing teeth is about you worrying not actually your teeth.

You obviously have some anxieties that your brains trying to work out. Possibly about the general uncertainty of life atm.
Your husband could be representing general life in the dreams and his violent behaviour and anxiety about nasty unexpected things happening 🤷🏼‍♀️

Dreams aren’t completely and utterly random, but they are chaotic. Your DP being violent in a dream might just suggest that something else that has been pretty stable around you is changing.

I’m not woo at all but I’ve had warning dreams in the past and I’ve gone with them, one involving a house purchase, luckily exH went with it and it turned out we did the right thing. I believe some dreams are twaddle and some are your subconscious giving you a heads up.

This sounds like an anxiety dream to me. So it doesn't mean your partner will suddenly become violent, but is there anything else going on in your life that is causing you concern?

🤦‍♀️

Many of us bombard our brain with horrific tv progs showing women's murdered bodies, clips of cruel treatment or murder, frightening scenes of people being chased.
Then expect to tootle off to bed and have sweet dreams. All those images must still be there somewhere!!

Dreams are random.

It would say more about you than your ex dp whom you say is completely lovely. You cannot take action on a dream that would be incredibly stupid

ex should be there!

shouldn't be - oh my!

I have recurring nightmares about my teenhood with my mother, there were semi violent arguments but in the dreams it all gets much worse. That is down to trauma.

Conversely I have bad dreams about DH being an absolute fucking arsehole and really upsetting me, his dream self is a bastard but he would never act that way IRL. It is just your own anxieties or stresses playing on your mind, even if it seems random it can just manifest in weird dream narratives.

I constantly dream that my bf is either cheating on me or doesn't care about me at all, the opposite of what he's like with me in real life. It's so weird and annoying.