AIBU to think blood is not thicker than water?

[SweetAlmondOil]

I was talking to a girlfriend at the weekend and her mum is poorly (nothing serious). My friend was saying how she'd love to be able to just pop in and see her, make her a cup of tea, bring her a treat, just generally be able to show her mum how much she cares and how much she loves her. This is her adoptive mum - her biological mum gave her up when she was a baby because she had life plans and a baby wasn't in them, and they've never seen each other since (my friend has no intention of tracking her biological mum down - as far as she's concerned she has a mum - and a dad).

I, on the other hand, have never been close to my mum and we rarely speak. I grew up admiring a friend's mum though in the way she was with my friend, with me, with our friends, with her husband, her friends, her colleagues, etc. We are still close to this day.

So that got me thinking: is bloody really thicker than water? I don't think so. At the end of the day your DP/spouse, for example, is not a blood relation and yet many of us are much closer to them and love them more than blood relations, even siblings. Many of us make friends we love more than family. I certainly have a few of those and we speak nearly every day and see each other a lot (respecting Covid-rules atm I feel I must say).

And long lost siblings for example: would you automatically get very close and care for them very much if you met them, just because they are related to you by blood?

Curious as to what others think.

I agree with you. I have long thought that prioritising people simply because of the accident of having shared genes is a recipe for trouble.

It's largely cultural: for some cultures blood family takes on a serious primacy and its very difficult to go against that: you do things for someone because they are "family" and that's that.

I personally would find this incredibly stifling. I also think it sets a bad precedent to create an environment where you can't call people on bad behaviour or walk away from said bad behaviour purely because of a genetic bond. Its great if you are close with your blood relatives but people need to be able to form relationships based on their own needs and values, as opposed to adhering to some code based on an arbitrary genetic link.

I think it depends. I love my nieces and nephews a lot even when they're annoying but I really don't feel that much for husband's nieces and nephews. However, of course when you willingly adopt a child you will love them the same as if you had given birth to them.

@WilheldivaHater

“the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb” Is the full quote, people always use the shorter version to mean the exact opposite of what the full quote means.

To me a blood relationship means nothing. I've got blood relations who I haven't seen in 25 years and would probably not recognise if I passed in the street and friends that I'd give an organ to without a thought.

In my opinion blood doesn't make family, love does.

Weirdly enough, my stepson told me this two days ago, and I'd had no idea before! How strange it's popped up here today.