Free School Meals on £32k salary

[icecube12345]

I'm a divorced father of two children in KS1 + KS2.

Share exactly 50/50 custody.

Due to various reasons, my ex gets double the CMS calculated CM payments plus additional spousal maintenance. In total, she'd need a job paying about £33k/year for the equivalent net income.

AIBU to think that it's morally wrong that my eldest in KS2 qualifies for free school meals when his parents have significantly more income than the vast majority? I hope not to make use of the free meals as I don't agree with it, but I'm shocked he qualifies.

Yikes, that PP’s message. I can understand where you’re coming from @Cocomarine but yikes.

clearly my child isn't from a disadvantaged background

Nothing clear about it. Whether you like it or not, children of separated/divorced parents are, statistically at least, a disadvantage educationally. 50/50 frequently works for parents but is questionable from many children’s perspectives, particularly when one parent considers themselves morally superior to the other...

This thread is bollocks but @Cocomarine you are spot on.

@JingsMahBucket

Yikes, that PP’s message. I can understand where you’re coming from *@Cocomarine* but yikes.

I’m not really sure how to take that “yikes” @JingsMahBucket 🤣

I’m not directly affected. I’m the RP for my kids, but I earn 2x my XH, who pulls his weight and has a similar cost of housing them... so voluntarily I don’t even claim CMS. Works for us, no skin in the game!

But I know so many people that have been fucked around over CMS (including a RP father ) that it’s something that really riles me. That’s personal knowledge even before you consider the horror stories on here!

In the OP’s position, I’d suggestion taking the FSM and his XW donating the equivalent money to a food bank, if she feels similarly to OP.

Are meals pre ordered?

There is nothing to stop you sending him with a packed lunch on the days he has been staying with you. What he has for lunch on the days he is with his mother is not your concern unless he is not given anything! I see no reason to communicate any of this with the school.

Why is the thread "free school meals on a 32k salary" when you're talking about someone NOT on a 32k salary

To clarify, the school won't get the money for the food you choose not to take, they will get extra funding based on the pupil premium. It's not to do with the food budget, the more kids they have on pupil premium, the more funding they get overall. And there are pots of funding only available to fund pupil premium resources.

In our area, pupil premium kids get reserved places at the grammar school (still have to pass the test, obviously, but get put to the top of the list above higher pass marks), get extra funding to stay on at A Level (a £500 payment made personally to the child) etc. There's lots of benefits.

I agree that it's a poorly designed system. We're not eligible for pupil premium despite significantly less income than you because I get working tax credit, which is a 'disqualifying' benefit. But if you do qualify it then you should absolutely claim it, let your kids and their school get what they can.

Why would you, as a parent object to their being more money in his children’s homes?

@Enoughnowstop

I'm not sure what your point is though? If his mother earned enough to not qualify for free meals, his parents would still be divorced but there'd be no free meals (or pupil premium) so to claim he's disadvantaged because his parents are divorced, although may be true, is irrelevant here?

Hang on, you don't want your kid to have free school meals? But you do want all children to have free school meals? And he wants packed lunches (you "think") but you don't give him packed lunches on the days he's with you? Mate, sort yourself out.

why are you paying child maintenance if you have 50:50 custody?

Why on earth would a father object to his children receiving something they are entitled to?

You sound bitter and this is a poor attempt at point scoring. Give your head a wobble. Her finances are nothing to do with you

@Smallsteps88

The same reason as why many people think that the top rate of tax should be 50% and not 45%, or why people earning over 60k shouldn't get child benefit. Or why people give to charity. Have you ever asked someone who gave to charity why they are taking money away from their children?!

Collectively we don't need the value of a free meal, and I felt it was wrong that the system allowed us to claim it. However as has been pointed out here, there are clear benefits to the school far beyond a free meal, which I was not aware of.

@SwimbleCold

Valid point, but the net income is still the same.

Because he is a Nice Guy (TM). Not like his jobless ex, with her free school meals ways, bleeding the country dry with every five inch square portion of shepherds pie her child consumes.

You go glenn Coco

Spot on.

It seems like youre more bothered about your child being labelled "disadvantaged" by being offered free school meals. Which is strange. Your child doesnt need it, great, unfortunately lots do. I wouldnt look at it as something benefiting your ex either. I know you said it's nothing to do with that but I do get a sense of "she gets all this money AND still is able to get free stuff"

I highly doubt it's you oh so concerned about the system tbh.

@DaftyD

Huh?

Yes, I think all children should get free school meals if it's properly funded, maybe through additional tax or another method. As it stands currently though the government / local authority don't budget for every child to have a free meal and thus the resources which are available to help the genuinely disadvantaged, should be made best use of.

He takes a packed lunch to school every day. Where did I say he didn't? I say that I "think" he wants packed lunch, because currently he does want a packed lunch as the school isn't currently doing hot lunches, but may start doing hot lunches next half term, and at that point he may change his mind.

OP, it sounds like your child being entitled to FSM feels like some sort of reflection or judgement on your ability and willingness to provide for your children. The label 'disadvantaged' stings a bit.

It's not. It's a broad, imperfect policy as all means-tested benefits are.

But yes as other say, submitting claim forms for both of your children will enable the school to claim pupil premium money. It also means that if your circumstances change, that's one less bit of admin to do.

You can always donate the equivalent money to a food bank each week if it still doesn't sit right.

Okay.

@Willyoujustbequiet

No, this is about my opinion that the system is broken, and asking if it's morally right the system lets people in situation qualify. This has nothing to do with my ex at all. Just the system.

Are you honestly claiming that you pay double cm AND spousal maintenance AND have 50/50 custody? Yeah, that happens 🙄

asking if it's morally right the system lets people in situation qualify. This has nothing to do with my ex at all. Just the system.

The fictional wife doesn’t have a guaranteed income. That’s who the system is for.

@britnay

Various reasons. None of which on hindsight are probably are justified but live and learn.

@KarmaNoMore

After the useful messages on here, I won't be cancelling it etc. I hadn't realised it was linked to other stuff.