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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think Christmas Eve boxes are absolutely ridiculous and unnecessary?

999 replies

dressinggownwearer · 19/10/2020 07:14

Just that really. Do children not get enough at Christmas without giving them even more the day before?! What are Christmas Eve boxes even for/full of that can't wait until Christmas Day?! Am I being mean and a grinch or do people agree?

OP posts:
Mrsfussypants1 · 19/10/2020 15:26

I haven't met another parent who feels under pressure to do a Christmas eve box to keep up with others. I've not witnessed a single Instagram post boasting from any acquaintance boasting either. What next? Shall we turn on families who buy Lego Advent calendars?

Morgan12 · 19/10/2020 15:26

Mine get new PJs. But not christmas themed ones so they wear them all year. Also get some sweets, reindeer dust and the special key to leave outside for Santa.

Hardly extravagant or something to moan about imo. It makes a lovely Christmas memory for the kids.

ShebaShimmyShake · 19/10/2020 15:26

@Mrsfussypants1

I haven't met another parent who feels under pressure to do a Christmas eve box to keep up with others. I've not witnessed a single Instagram post boasting from any acquaintance boasting either. What next? Shall we turn on families who buy Lego Advent calendars?
Yes! Fucking arseholes!
DrWAnker · 19/10/2020 15:28

Why are we focusing on moralising about the cheap thing that's generally accessible to almost everybody?
I'm personally not. Do it or don't.
Just generally people love to have their tuppence worth about what everyone else gets up to and it's 10x worse just now due to boredom etc. Hence some crazy comments on here.
I'm not moralising about anyones choices, merely pointing out we're not all in the same position 🤷‍♀️

LolaSmiles · 19/10/2020 15:40

so why target the relatively inexpensive little Christmas Eve box tradition rather than the groaning juggernaut of excess that is the actual Christmas presents?
Because that's what the thread is about.

Ultimately expressing any concern about mindless consumption of tat gets some people defensive on here because they are desperate to argue that anyone with concerns about consumerism and the sheer explosion of 'must haves' is a sign everyone hates poor people.

So you can say you quite like Christmas eve traditions but question some of the single/limited use items and inevitably someone will claim that it's trying to stop poor enjoying Christmas.

lowlandLucky · 19/10/2020 15:43

Another excuse to spend money, another excuse to but children gifts they don't need just so Mummy can show off on Fakebook.

PhilSwagielka · 19/10/2020 15:44

'Sweet milky filth'. Oh give me strength.

ShebaShimmyShake · 19/10/2020 15:47

Because that's what the thread is about.

Yes, but again...why? We get several of these every year and they always go loco, so this isn't a one-off. Why does a cheap film night box on Christmas Eve become the focus for so many of our moralistic concerns over more middle class stuff that surely deserves it so much more? Why join in the chorus of the terrible Christmas boxes rather than guiding people on it to the things that are actually guilty of causing the trouble that concerns you?

Besides, the standard Cnristmas box isn't full of single use/disposable stuff. It's pyjamas, food and a film. The box is reusable. It's a better cop than piles of expensive gifts in wrapping paper you can't recycle.

DolphinsAndNemesis · 19/10/2020 15:51

I can't get worked up about how other people celebrate. We celebrate a secular version of Xmas but we don't even have Santa in our house. Shock, horror!

MadamShazam · 19/10/2020 15:51

I'm not a fan of Christmas eve boxes. Or that bloody Elf on the shelf. There is so much pressure on parents to make things as magical as possible, but I think Christmas is magical enough!

lazylinguist · 19/10/2020 15:53

Because that's what the thread is about.

Well yes. But the question still stands - why make a fuss about the pjs and hot chocolate rather than the main present-giving?

Also, whilst I agree about mindless consumption, I do think there's a massive element of snobbery in the way it's criticised. A lot of the more expensive presents given by wealthier people aren't necessarily any more environmentally friendly or much more long-lasting than the 'tat' they deride poorer people for buying.

Goosefoot · 19/10/2020 15:54

I'm not crazy about Christmas Eve boxes, though I understand the appeal of some sort of ritual for the evening.

But in general the whole holiday has become a ritual around consumerism to a degree that is really increasingly gross. Much of it is pushed mainly by stores and manufacturers who are selling the items.

It is possible though to do something similar but without the focus on buying new. If you have a nice Christmas box in storage with your decorations and Christmas mugs etc you can get those down and open them and it's quite as nice as a box of new things without making more crap that will one day be in a landfill.

It also seems to me that part of the issue is that families do things really far ahead. It used to be common for people to put trees up and decorate them on Christmas Eve. Now that people begin Christmas far earlier it leaves less to do on the actual holiday. I typically start seeing a few trees up after Nov 11th and Dec 1st it becomes common. I used to buy our tree a day or two before Christmas but now if I wait that long I won't be able to find any tree lots open. But the spreading of the holiday has happened mainly due to a push by industry because it means people spend more.

It's very hard not to get caught up in it, because so much is quite appealing, but I just can't get on board with the implications of all that consumption and what it shows my kids. We try and make a point of observing Advent which kind of helps as it's abstentious by nature.

HazeyJaneII · 19/10/2020 15:58

@PhilSwagielka

'Sweet milky filth'. Oh give me strength.
I once saw grapes described as "bombs of sugar" on Mumsnet... Tis a weird and wonderful place.
Goosefoot · 19/10/2020 16:01

@lazylinguist

Because that's what the thread is about.

Well yes. But the question still stands - why make a fuss about the pjs and hot chocolate rather than the main present-giving?

Also, whilst I agree about mindless consumption, I do think there's a massive element of snobbery in the way it's criticised. A lot of the more expensive presents given by wealthier people aren't necessarily any more environmentally friendly or much more long-lasting than the 'tat' they deride poorer people for buying.

I think because they are really part and parcel.

Over the years more and more of these small things have been added, at the same time more and more is spent of gifts in general. People have always had hot chocolate and candy, or maybe a dvd (though in the past we watched tv Christmas specials.)

But the box has been created as a way to package that into a vehicle for selling things. The elf on the shelf is similar, it's basically a version of make up a story to go with the plastic toy you want to sell in massive numbers.

lazylinguist · 19/10/2020 16:01

I've never done Christmas Eve boxes, but this thread has perversely made me want to. Grin I think maybe I'll make some pyjamas from recycled material, knit some cosy socks from locally-sourced yarn and make up little bags of hot chocolate made from pure (Fair Trade, natch) cocoa, so that it won't be over-sweet filth. Oh and fashion the boxes themselves from delivery boxes out of the recycling. Wink

ShebaShimmyShake · 19/10/2020 16:05

@lazylinguist

I've never done Christmas Eve boxes, but this thread has perversely made me want to. Grin I think maybe I'll make some pyjamas from recycled material, knit some cosy socks from locally-sourced yarn and make up little bags of hot chocolate made from pure (Fair Trade, natch) cocoa, so that it won't be over-sweet filth. Oh and fashion the boxes themselves from delivery boxes out of the recycling. Wink
You'll still be RUINING Christmas though. People will literally pity your poor children who will never know the indescribable joy of not watching a film and having some sweets the night before. Actual sorrow will be felt.

Personally, I think I'll get a DVD, pyjamas and make a hot drink....then, just before I settle down, chuck the lot into a little wooden box. Then look outside to enjoy the gathering storm...

Mrsfussypants1 · 19/10/2020 16:06

Well OP so there you have it. 50/50. 50% love the tradition. 50% think pjs/book/hot chocolate are single use/landfill/ tat encouraging rampant consumerism, jealousy and competitiveness. Make your own mind up. I'm sure all our children will have a fabulous Christmas which ever way we go. There will be many children this year whose Christmas will not have such lovely memories or traditions.

lazylinguist · 19/10/2020 16:06

Over the years more and more of these small things have been added

The only two I can bring to mind are the elf (hated by many) and the Christmas Eve box (which most people don't do, and which seems to mostly contain inexpensive, usable items which you might buy anyway).

Have there been other common, mainstream Christmas add-ons that I've missed?

lazylinguist · 19/10/2020 16:09

You'll still be RUINING Christmas though. People will literally pity your poor children who will never know the indescribable joy of not watching a film and having some sweets the night before. Actual sorrow will be felt.

Shit. My poor, poor children. Come to think of it, they had hot chocolate in front of a film in their pyjamas the other night and it's not even November yet. Shock What have I done?! Some kind of therapy may be in order.

SonjaMorgan · 19/10/2020 16:14

My DC get new PJs as I don't want to take Christmas morning photos of them in greying, shrunken in the tumble dryer, holey favourites.

Goosefoot · 19/10/2020 16:15

@lazylinguist

Over the years more and more of these small things have been added

The only two I can bring to mind are the elf (hated by many) and the Christmas Eve box (which most people don't do, and which seems to mostly contain inexpensive, usable items which you might buy anyway).

Have there been other common, mainstream Christmas add-ons that I've missed?

Almost all of them!

Christmas trees and cards. Photos with Santa. Santa himself. Christmas films. Cheezy Christmas albums. Strings of electric Christmas lights. Specially made stockings. Christmas themed mugs. Christmas themed Pjs. Christmas villages. And more and more gifts and more expensive ones as well.

Not all of these are bad things, I'd be loath to give up the Christmas tree. But there's a clear recreation of Christmas as a holiday focused on material consumption beginning at the end of the 19th century, with retailers and manufactures depending more and more on selling Christmas related items and gifts and seeing it as an important commercial endevour.

MaryShelley1818 · 19/10/2020 16:15

Oh I LOVE a Christmas Eve Box....couldn't give a monkey's what other people think. I'm sure the children who have them have a magical Christmas and I'm sure the children who don't have them have a magical Christmas too!

We put in the Christmas Treat plate and cup for Santa and Rudoplhs treats (will be same one every year), a small Christmas book, some pjs, a few treats/snacks and some reindeer food. Nothing we wouldn't be buying anyway so makes no difference whether it's in a box anyway but DS gets excited so why not!

nancybotwinbloom · 19/10/2020 16:17

I've done one since my dd was 3. She thinks the elves bring it. She's 7 now so only a couple more years of getting the elves to bring it.

I like seeing her little face when she opens it.

It doesn't have to be expensive either and there are things in there that we re use each year.

Santa key
Plate for his mince pies etc.

She gets jamas, a hot chocolate that I make in a sweet cone that looks like a reindeer and some colouring pens with a Christmas activity book.

A glittery bubble bath and some reindeer food.

LolaSmiles · 19/10/2020 16:19

I think because they are really part and parcel.

Over the years more and more of these small things have been added, at the same time more and more is spent of gifts in general. People have always had hot chocolate and candy, or maybe a dvd (though in the past we watched tv Christmas specials.)

But the box has been created as a way to package that into a vehicle for selling things. The elf on the shelf is similar, it's basically a version of make up a story to go with the plastic toy you want to sell in massive numbers
I was going to say the same thing.
There's loads of ways to have nice family traditions, so why does there need to be a box, often personalised one per child, why do kids need new Christmas themed pyjamas the night before Christmas when they're inevitably going to grow out of them, single use items, hot chocolate 'kits' and a new mug each year?

A few years ago I read about the waste that goes into the Christmas jumper days and that falls into the same category as christmas eve boxes for me. Some people will have a festive jumper they wear each year, but most buy a new one each year, only to discard it once the photos have been taken, and buy a new one in 12 months time

If someone started a thread asking what people thought about the ridiculous pressure to buy buy buy at Christmas then there would be people sharing their views on that. The only difference is that whilst some people on this thread insist that being cynical at yet another thing that requires more stuff, on those threads you'd inevitably get people claiming that any hint of concern about endless buying is obviously pure jealousy from people turning green with envy over someone else buying a new phone every year/designer gear. 🤷‍♀️

Ellapaella · 19/10/2020 16:23

I have never done Christmas Eve boxes for my Dc as Christmas for me has always been about the stocking!
They get new Pyjamas to wear on Christmas Eve and a Christmas themed story book. Not in a box, just wrapped up by the tree.

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