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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

TO WANT TO spend Christmas in Australia

70 replies

DropInTheOcean54 · 18/10/2020 21:45

Rather an odd opening sentence I know! This year I took my dd 22, her b/f 22 and ds 13 to stay with my nephew and family - their cousins in Australia. WE had the most amazing time (pre covid..just!). I would love to go there again - pandemic permitting for Xmas/New Year 2021. But I cannot take us all again. dd will be working by then - uni atm and I want to go with my partner and ds. In an ideal world I would love us all to come but I cannot afford that at all. I feel guilty about leaving my Mum home (she will be 88) and we usually have a family Xmas at my house with our cousins in UK. Is this a bad idea? Is it selfish?

OP posts:
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Original poster
DropInTheOcean54 · 18/10/2020 22:31

@StCharlotte

The OP has clearly said this will be xmas/new year 2021. Hopefully things will be better by then.

Not clearly enough obviously Grin Sorry for misunderstanding.

Although Northern Territory may be closed to visitors until 2022 so hopefully your family are elsewhere in the country.

Yes I meant Xmas 21 into '22 so nothing for at least 14 months. They are on Central Coast. I can wait, the trip is not urgent - I was jsut getting a feel for the main questions in had in my own mind. Basically not knowing if it is selfish and inappropriate to leave my Mother over Xmas - I have siblings and we are a close unit so it is not just me. The covid thing is a different question and I am 100% aware of the implications of that with travel anywhere.
OP posts:
Whatyoucanandcantdo · 18/10/2020 22:33

Stop telling everyone, I think they've got the picture Confused

BonosSigh · 18/10/2020 22:33

OP, I really wouldn't bet the farm on being able to travel to Aus next Christmas so I would plan on 2022.

NZ and Aus are waiting on a vaccine to be able to open up to the rest of the world again (that can be their only end-game having gone for total community eradication) and even if a vaccine is developed in the next 3-6 months which is what I am hearing rumours of, it will be a long time before it's available to the general population (those in low risk groups will presumably be the last in the queue to get it). And I imagine that both Aus and NZ will want to wait and see just how effective it is before opening their borders again - they won't just be throwing the doors open immediately.

So yes, sorry I know you were talking about Christmas next year but the reality is (cost of flights aside) you won't be there at Christmas next year. Start saving now.

Original poster
DropInTheOcean54 · 18/10/2020 22:34

@MaverickDanger

I think flights will be extortionate, if they are actually letting non-Australians in by then.

One of DH’s school friends is a pilot for Qantas and has been told not to expect regular overseas flights for another 18 months minimum.

We’re gutted as DH’s family are all there and I’m due in December. The idea of them not meeting him until he’s potentially 15 months old is so upsetting.

If it does go ahead, either offering your daughter the chance to pay her own way, or for her to spend the time with her gran instead sounds like a good option.

We were very lucky to have Christmas just gone and spend four weeks in Australia, so very thankful we at least did that.

That is such a horrid shame. When your family is separated by such a great distance. I am sorry. I would definitely encourage my daughter and partner to come too, I just cannot pay next time as I did this year as this was a once in a lifetime family holiday. Thank god we did it when we did as we got him in March! Jsut before the chaos really began. I do hope you are able to communicate with your families out in Oz and they can see your son via FT and Skype
OP posts:
Onxob · 18/10/2020 22:36

Christmas in Australia really isn't great. It's not the same at all. It doesn't "feel" like Xmas because of the weather and there's just not the same fuss and sense of "Christmas cheer" - for want of a better expression Grin

I'd have Xmas with your mum in the UK and fly out a couple of days later perhaps? I think it would be much more special to have as many Christmas days as you can with your mum considering her age.

movingonup20 · 18/10/2020 22:38

Your dd is an adult, it's quite reasonable after a certain age to not pay. I'm planning a trip myself and certainly don't feel obliged to take all our (student) DD's. I've never heard of paying for a boyfriend last fare either, my dd goes with her boyfriends parents and pays her own fare

BonosSigh · 18/10/2020 22:40

Onxob Christmas is just fine in the southern hemisphere Hmm I managed it for years!

And I can bet there will be a hell of a lot more Christmas cheer there this year, than here.

HotToCold · 18/10/2020 22:41

I wouldnt leave my 88 year old mum!!!

And there are talks that Australia will keep borders closed to non Aussies for years

Heyahun · 18/10/2020 22:41

The poster said 2021 - Jaysis nobody reads things properly 😂

Not selfish at all - you do you! Your daughter and her boyfriend are adults so you don’t have to pay for them to come!

Christmas is just a day - who cares if people are upsets you chose a holiday instead - they’ll get over it! You can do something Nice with your mum and daughter anytime

freezedriedromance · 18/10/2020 22:52

I read that NZ have planned to ban flights to/from Europe for the entirety of 2021 as well. Not sure of the accuracy on that but I wouldn't be surprised. I also wouldnt be surprised if Aus did the same thing. They're waiting for a vaccine and with borders easily shut, I suppose they can do so with relative "ease."

SonjaMorgan · 18/10/2020 22:53

I love spending Christmas abroad but could leave a DC behind even if they are an adult.

ElleEmDee · 18/10/2020 22:55

Tell her what your plan is and she can save up during the year if she wants to come. To be honest, we in Australia have been told there will probably be no travel to/ from Europe until 2022 so you may not be able to do the trip until Xmas 2022 anyway which gives everyone more time to save. As for your mum that’s tricky but who knows what a year or two will bring. You could do an early Xmas lunch with her before you went and then arrange somewhere for her to be on Christmas Day so she wasn’t all own.

Cordial11 · 18/10/2020 22:58

Are you staying with your nephew again ? Have you asked him how many people he can put up and if he's happy with the time frame etc. He may have others wanting to go at that peak time if it's just opened back up again ...

I say this as someone who lives in Aus and people just assume anytime is OK to visit Hmm

AldiAisleofCrap · 18/10/2020 23:02

It’s very unlikely you will be able to spend Christmas 2021 in Australia.

TingTastic · 18/10/2020 23:05

Why over Xmas itself? That is the most expensive time to travel, I would avoid it if at all possible

I also don’t understand why you are so willing to pay for your DS but not your DD. I know she is an adult but she’s unlikely to be able to afford the trip herself (fair enough not paying for her partner)

BritWifeinUSA · 18/10/2020 23:25

I would stay in the UK and spend time with your mum. Your nephew is much younger so you have many more years with him than you have with your mum. Enjoy the time with your mum. I have no idea when I’ll be able to see my mum again.

GrasswillbeGreener · 18/10/2020 23:36

I say, go ahead and dream about it, go ahead and save up for it, but agree with those who suspect flights will be a LOT more expensive for a long time to come. Christmas flights are always markedly more expensive anyway, if your trip this year was in February you may not have realised you were getting a "bargain" compared with travelling a month or two earlier. See how things are by the middle of next year, at the earliest, before remotely considering taking your dream seriously.

I have a mother in Australia who has been working towards packing up, selling up and moving back to the UK (been out there over 50 years). Goodness only knows when that is now going to be possible. She's younger than your mother but not by a lot.

cbt944 · 18/10/2020 23:40

Here you go. Current situation for Australian residents wanting to come home.

www.abc.net.au/news/2020-10-19/australians-overseas-coronavirus-government-plan-london-india/12776536

I really think you are wasting your time worrying about visiting in 2021, as if that is a likely option, when it probably isn't.

ClaryFairchild · 18/10/2020 23:51

Current climate aside - Christmas can be a good time to visit Australia as a lot of industries shut down for a week or so and so you could spend time with family while they're not working - clearly only if they want to spend that time with you too!

But, everyone else is correct. I can't see restrictions being eased anytime soon, especially for Europe.

A lot of airlines will go out of business. There will be less competition and a need for greater profits for the remaining ones. So WHEN flights are permitted, they will be expensive and remain so for a long time.

Bwlch · 19/10/2020 00:00

Christmas in Australia really isn't great.

I beg to disagree. We had hoped to get back for Christmas 2021 but Josh Frydenberg's budget speech made it clear that it is extremely unlikely to happen.

HappilyHoppily · 19/10/2020 01:52

On the point about your mum... she’s 88 now. If you don’t go next year because of her (let’s assume for now that going is logistically possible), then you won’t be able to go for the rest of her lifetime, as each year she’ll be older. That could be another 10 years.

Frannibananni · 19/10/2020 02:49

This years weather is going to be terrible, you are better off going next year or so my friends have said. La Niña is going to cause more cyclones and a bigger wet season this year. Good for them though.

whywhywhy6 · 19/10/2020 03:00

Is there any point in stressing about leaving your mum or whether your daughter should go etc when Aust is no where even close to opening up and there are talking of that continuing on for 12-18 months or more? Just chill out and reassess in 12 months time.

MerchantOfVenom · 19/10/2020 03:03

Christmas in Australia really isn't great. It's not the same at all. It doesn't "feel" like Xmas because of the weather and there's just not the same fuss and sense of "Christmas cheer" - for want of a better expression

The OP clearly disagrees - she’s ‘just’ back from Christmas in Australia and loved it so much, she wants to return. Confused

Maybe there was no ‘Christmas cheer’ when you experiences it, but that’s your experience. Christmas in summer is fantastic - much more fun to be outside opening pressies and celebrating, than cooped up watching crap TV before the sun goes down at 3.45, marking the beginning of the end of day, and you’ve barely even finished lunch...

OP - in theory, I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. But in practice, it’s unlikely to happen next year.

katy1213 · 19/10/2020 03:31

Of course you don't need to pay for an adult daughter. But if your mum is still around - and a lot can happen in 14 months - it could well be her last Christmas; has she anyone else with whom to spend it?