Hi this is going to be really long winded but trying not to drip feed.
DD born 7 years ago - critically ill and was in hospital until she was nearly 2 and then continues to be in and out although doing better these days.
Still requires a lot of home care, hospital admissions etc.
Her dad left when she was 2 weeks old in the neonatal unit.
Since then the relationship has been rocky but due to professional input I kept the relationship between DD and her father. Very early on he was horrid and then ended in him being sectioned after a drug induced psychotic break down, he had apparently got on drugs after making new friends at work.
He was also arrested for transportation of class A drugs.
Anyway for a while we kept visiting at bay until he was “ better “ things did get better for about a year but then started doing south again.
- contact was Inconsistent so was matinence payments with lots of excuses etc
- he cancelled DD after not seeing her for months when he promised to take her out to a Xmas show as he couldn’t get time off work but it ended up that he was on Thailand for 3 weeks on a lads holiday.
He did not come when she has open heart surgery or was in icu with sepsis. When he is with her he treats her well and she engages well and does like him.
But contact has still been hit and miss. He lies after missing last contact he sent me a picture of a arm injury which did look pretty grim this was mid of August ( last time he has messaged or answered my messages and phone calls )
I started to get worried because he had basically gone awol since sending me the arm picture. Not responding at all.
I contacted his friend today and she sent me a screen shot of the message from beginning of july with the arm injury so he had not done it on the Friday and it was not the reason he had no contact.
I have not spoken to this friend in 7 years but now I do know that for the last 2 he has been back on drugs in a bad way. Been found collapsed on chairs etc
He has been in the “ local smack group “ Friend is claiming he is not well and he needs help etc I should reach out to him but I’m done ? My daughter asks for her dad I have tried, it then comes out they he has been telling them that DD has only a year to live and I have been stopping them seeing each other . This is not true, I didn’t know he was back on drugs and I have never stopped contact apart from the 3 months when he went in to hospital / rehab and then showed evidence that he was clean.
My DD is poorly and had been through a lot of medical issues and survived but not dying in the next year ( and hopefully never ).
They think it should be me who reaches out to him but I am done ???
DD has a good life despite the hospital and home treatments, she has a nice home, never goes without, has an amazing step dad. We have a very nice life. How much longer can I keep trying !!! Aibu to not reach out ?