DH gone to friend's house

[EatPrayYoga]

DH mentioned yesterday he might meet friend who lives nearby with another mutual friend of theirs who would be going to see other freeing. He suggested a walk and I thought that would be acceptable.

Today he said he's going to friend's house and other friend is coming over. I said I'm not happy as he has been to work and seen his parents, which I wouldn't stop him from doing as he wanted to check on them, but I haven't been anywhere for weeks except the supermarket and haven't seen parents for ages despite it being DF's birthday last week.

He assured me they would be outside but even then I knew they'd be drinking and it's not as if they would be careful about social distancing.

He asked if I'd pick him up and I said I would but he's now not answering the phone which means he is going to end up staying the night, which he sometimes does if too drink to drive home, but I'm uncomfortable with him being there full stop. And obviously he be in the house, using bathroom etc if staying over.

AIBU to think he is being a bit irresponsible and selfish?

Meet them outside. And no, you don't need to isolate because your husband's been out. One of my daughters is a teacher, the other is a nurse. And they see friends (sensibly). So they come across many many more people than your husband has. Are their spouses isolating and not seeing their parents? Of course they're not.

@EatPrayYoga

It's hard to isolate. I can kick him out of the bedroom for a week and we work in different rooms but I would have to be careful about touching anything he has touched

I will just not see my parents for at least another week

Sorry, you're being ridiculous. See my post above. Many many people are having to work in schools, hospitals, factories etc. Your husband only popped into the office to pick something up, and met a few other people. That's nothing.

Do you really think that everyone who has a partner who doesn't work from home, or who has kids in school, is isolating and not touching anything that they do?

Seriously, think about it. You are WAY over-reacting.

Go and see your df on his birthday. You need to do the things that keep you sane and you can stick to the rules.

I go to see my parents every day and sit on a seat in their garden at their back door. I even take my own coffee.

You ANBU to be annoyed BTW.

You're not unreasonable but don't go and pick him up, leave him. Husbands don't just go out for a walk with friends and then not come home for the night - neither do wives! That is not acceptable behaviour for grown up, married people. Teenagers do that sort of thing.

@jessstan1

You're not unreasonable but don't go and pick him up, leave him. Husbands don't just go out for a walk with friends and then not come home for the night - neither do wives! That is not acceptable behaviour for grown up, married people. Teenagers do that sort of thing.

He was home an hour ago

Thank goodness for that. He was late getting back from a walk!

Op, it's your turn to go out. Not at the moment, obviously but do see your parents.

@EatPrayYoga

He is home. He must have walked. He could have told me

Yes. Very late to be out walking.

For those who don't understand like @saraclara my parents are on the vulnerable category and I have been debating whether to see them or not. If I do it will be as safely as possible but it is harder for me to do so if DH has mixed with a number of households and probably not very carefully eg he would not have washed his hands when he arrived or made sure he doesn't touch anything he doesn't need to.

@saraClara You must see that there is a difference between unnecessary mixing within households (which is not allowed where we live) and necessary contact for work.

Aside from anything else what DH has done tonight is against the rules and I have admitted I am anxious about the whole thing.

Realistically I am not going to isolate from him for a week but what annoys me as PP said is this sort of thing affects both of us and potentially our families.

@EatPrayYoga

It seems my DH is one of the inconsiderate arses who thinks the rules don't apply to them

There's plenty of those on Mumsnet, so expect lots of answers supporting your husband, who does sound like an inconsiderate and thick arse.

Clearly so rash

Tbf it is only a ten minute walk so he was never going to be stranded there.

He has passed out in the other room. He must be pretty pissed as he didn't even manage to take his shoes off on the new bedroom carpet

I sound like an uptight bitch dont I but nevermind