To ask for your ideas of how to stay happy this winter

[Learningtofeminist]

Don’t really want to go into all the reasons but we’re having a particularly shitty year and now facing The Covid Winter.

Please give me ideas for how to keep morale up! Currently in a tier 2 area so no socialising indoors, husband has been made redundant so financially constrained, I have gained 10lb due to several (as yet unsuccessful) fertility treatments this year and have no desire to gain any more so baking is not ideal. We have a very social 3-year-old who’s currently at nursery 3.5 days a week and we may have to cut that (see ‘financial constraints’).

I am already feeling a bit hopeless and don’t really want to do anything except sit by the fire and eat cake 😔

Maybe something creative you can do for free? I recently started playing around with drawing maps (using free tutorials on YouTube and pencils I already had on any old bits of paper) and also calligraphy, which I am learning using free tutorials (no special pen for me right now) and am writing out poems I love to practice. I find doing something creative that needs a little concentration is good for putting me in a different headspace!

We've had the no socialising indoors rule for months, it doesn't mean thou can't see people you just have to be more inventive.

We meet in parks, and choose parks with band stands/covered areas when it's rainy. We have food flasks and thermos so take hot chocolate or do hot food picnics. You can cook up a load of sausages, put them in a food flask and do hotdogs in the park. Same with chicken drumsticks, soup or casserole. DD meets friends inthe park for a good run around and some socialisation, we also meet up with family to stay in touch.

DD has some waterproof trousers from Lidl and wellies so we can go puddle jumping and she can use the park equipment even if it's wet (rubbery trousers rather than the nylon ones so she doesn't speed down the slide like an oiled pig)

Keep spare clothes, warm socks and shoes in the boot of your car then if you get muddy you can clean and dry off before heading home.

Save egg boxes, washing up bottles, loo rolls, cereal boxes and let your DS turn them into creations.

For you, find an exercise programme you like on YouTube, I like the Our Parks couch to fitness programme. Let DS join in, or if he's like my DD, point and laugh while you try to follow along. Exercise will help with the 10lb but more importantly will give you a mood boost and sense of achievement.

We're in the run up to Xmas, you could make fudge/honeycomb as gifts and package it up nicely in gift bags. Both are cheap on ingredients, simple recipes, the honeycomb has a wow factor for kiddies when it foams up and if money's tight it will bulk out Xmas gifts you give to friends and family.

Sorry you’ve had a tough time OP
I’m also in an area where indoor socialising has been banned (since 28 July) and it’s great to have gardens back as an option now. Things we do are cafes with outdoor space, walks with flasks. Visiting outdoor places /gardens such as the Yorkshire sculpture park near me but also but trips to castles, beaches - if not too far away or expensive?
Cycling maybe?

I’ve been reading lots about how to keep going and the anxiety at bay- exercise/walking really helps for me, and having something silly to the watch of an evening.

Thanks guys. @RincewindsHat (amazing name by the way ) I used to knit, but just can't concentrate on it at the moment. Am feeling inordinately proud of the leaf collage son and I made yesterday though.

@FatGirlShrinking and @N0rthern it's really helpful to be reminded that others have been enduring stricter restrictions far longer and are getting through it ok, so thank you. I have been thinking about how to do outdoor activities - already have a good supply of thermals and woolly jumpers, and both son and I have good rain gear (I'm re-waxing my enormous knee-length hooded coat). I never thought of food flasks though! We don't have a car but I'm thinking of getting a two-seater bike trailer so we can maybe take a friend to the park every so often.

I think the key for me is going to be motivating my arse to get out and do stuff instead of just sitting at home moping - when life serves up lemons I have a tendency to become good friends with the black dog if I'm not careful.

Did do the odd Joe Wicks workout during lockdown, so on the days when I really can't face going to the allotment (which I also did a lot of in lockdown) maybe I need a rule that I have to do either JW or allotmenting every day .

Even when you don’t feel like it, try to get some time in daylight and fresh air every day, a quick walk with a podcast or something. So important.

...Also, because I need to earn enough to cover our bills or at least eke out the redundancy payment as long as possible, I'm expecting to be working long hours some days (I'm self employed, and my husband is/was the main earner). Which means I have a tendency to want to be lazy on the days I don't work!

For me it’s finding something to do in the evenings that isn’t just watching tv of mindlessly scrolling on my phone. We’ve been doing some puzzles and I fancy getting one of those adult paint by numbers.
DP and I also often put on some music, open a bottle of champagne and just chat which is lovely and something we don’t usually do.

Also lots and lots of candles

We have little parties every so often since the kids are missing out on birthday parties, I find it gives us something to focus on.
So we are having a Halloween party in s few weeks. We are currently making decorations (colouring day of the dead skulls to make bunting) and we might decorate some cups and stuff.
We will make and decorate some cup cakes before hand but I dont like having loads of baking to eat up so will scale recipes down so I'm just using one egg ao there is only one each.
We will dress up, face paint, dye foods weird colours, the grown ups will have a few drinks, we will do some spooky treasure hunts (glow in the dark spiders I got off ebay for a pound), dance to some Halloween songs. It sounds silly but it really helps for a week or so beforehand. So might do a bonfire one as well

Sorry you are having such a crappy time. Your son is lucky to have you and I would try and do some activities for yourself. Maybe learn make up online. Nice hot bath every evening. Take up reading again.
Diy in the house (if you can)
Declutter and or organise your home

Plant some spring bulbs now and they will be lovely. I love snowdrops.

@Learningtofeminist one of the best things I did during the national lockdown when every bloody thing was closed and life felt very very small was to sew scrubs for local hospitals and care homes. I had a decent stash of cotton fabric and bed sheets so was able to make lots of scrub caps and uniform bags and the only cost was my time which I had lots of.

It made me feel part of something bigger and like I was doing something useful, it opened up my world beyond the 4 walls of my house.

We also took to writing real letters with pictures drawn by DD and sending those to gran and great gran. They only live 5 miles down the road but we haven't been able to see great gran since February because she's 92 and in poor health so can't meet us outdoors. We've popped road and shouted and waved through the window at her but that's it.

Forgot to say, @FatGirlShrinking I have been making bottles and bottles of infusions for Christmas presents! Up until a couple of weeks ago the house was full of Kilner jars containing various combinations of fruits/berries and booze .

Any more ideas for home-made Christmas presents very gratefully received. My family aren't big eaters of sugar so I'm particularly trying to find non-edible ideas - although thinking about it, things like fudge could be good for my in-laws (in-laws are in another country; one is glutein-intolerant and I think may have stopped drinking; another is lactose-intolerant and avoids glutein). My son and my niece (in law) are the only children in my family although I also have a two-year-old godson.

Off the back of this post I also arranged a family Facetime call with one set of in-laws this afternoon. Haven't seen them since February and these guys are shielding so it was really good to talk to them. Making that more a part of my routine would probably also be a good move I guess.

Oohhh I’d love some more details of your homemade presents OP. Trying to be much less wasteful this year and keep tat buying to a minimum!

Are you eligible for 30 hours free childcare? If you're working, it may be an option.

I'm sorry you've had a rough time on top of Covid 🌷& I'm sorry to hear about the fertility treatment not working yet 🤞🏼

I hope you can find the money to keep DS in nursery. It'll help you feel less pressured to 'do stuff', it'll get you out of the house (walk if you can), & it'll give you a bit of time to do things for yourself!

I DO feel better if I get out for a walk every day & I KNOW that, but doing it can be quite another thing. I need some waterproof shoes, but they need to be soft like sketchers as I have foot issues. But I'm already fed up if getting wet feet!

Other things I'm doing is getting a few things sorted around the house, which will make life nicer/easier/cosier and despite MN hating them, I will be putting fairy lights up soon because they make ME happy and I live here, not MN 🤣

I bought a 'teddy bear' throw for the bed, it's not really 'a grown up look' but it looks cosy & my inner child is loving it! 🤣 (it's only a cheap Tesco thing (it's actually a duvet cover, but I'm just using it as throw over the duvet) because I didn't want to spend a lot on something that I wouldn't normally give house room to 🤣🤣

I'm diabetic so I can't 'self soothe' with food. Probably as well becayse despite eating very low carb & not much, all of lockdown i've still put on weight 🤬

I've bought a couple of Christmas cross stitches & wool for knitting/crochet.

I still send Christmas cards , so I'll be getting them out soon & making a start on them. TRYING to find positive things to write in them.

Just trying to do things differently like no truck or treating this year, but going to find a good Halloween film & a decent bottle of red wine instead.

Does DS like playing games? SOME of the Orchard ones are good. My personal favourite is Bus Stop. But also easy card games,3 is old enough to start playing!

Lego another personal favourite - the kids are just a good excuse!

Autumn can be a beautiful season. Time for walks, bring out winter coats.

@Turnedouttoes last year I imposed a home-made Christmas as we were skint having just done some work on our fixer-upper house... blowed if I can remember now what I got though 🙄 Making boozy infusions is soooo easy and you get loads of credit for them. Apple whisky is a good easy one that doesn’t need too much maturing time before you can give it away as presents. Slice some apples, stick in a big Kilner jar, add a couple of sticks of cinnamon, some honey and fill with whisky. When you’re done the whiskified apples make the most AMAZING crumble 🤤I have knitted presents in the past but it takes bloody FOREVER and unfortunately, time is not something I have an abundant supply of! (I’m self employed so have upped hours to pay the bills.)

I often give parents-in-law nice photos of our son in a frame & mount, specially since they don’t see him much. Seems to go down well.

@lurkingattheback, he’s on the 30 hours but spread across the year so it only actually covers 2 days. Lovely nursery has offered to move him to term-time only so it would cover 3 days - challenge with that is I still work in the holidays... Also, now that my husband isn’t working I think we will actually stop being eligible (husband has been genuinely full time jobhunting since they announced the redundancies. Some jobs get 300 applicants within an hour of going up - and these are higher management type jobs, so I can only imagine how awful it is at the less experienced end of the market 😢)

@MJMG2015 fairy lights is actually a bloody brilliant idea

@Turnedouttoes one home-made present I was very proud of was a home-made cold smoker for my husband - he’s very hard to buy presents for but a big foodie and I knew he wanted to try smoking fish etc. Cheated a bit because it was a present from me and my brother - brother bought the actual smoking part (could have made one but didn’t fancy stabbing my fingers a gajillion times) - like this but pretty sure it was 3x the price 😆 www.wish.com/product/5dea394db3cf1308e217418a I cleaned up a huge terracotta flowerpot from the garden, bought a rack to hold the food at the top and an equally huge terracotta saucer to go over the top. That’s a pretty niche interest present though 😆

hibernate. it’s the only way to get through

@MJMG2015 I need some waterproof walking shoes like that too- I have some merrell walking trainers but they’re no good in soggy conditions. Let me know if you come across some good ones!

@Learningtofeminist another pressie is layered recipe ingredients in a Kilner jar- eg. Christmas cookies. Tied with festive ribbon www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/christmas-biscuits-jar

• Declutter Marie Kondo style and organise the house, then buy all the fairy lights, candles and cosy throws.

• Treat yourself to some nice new pyjamas and loungewear sets, I've got a couple of nice ones from M&S and Primark recently.

• Audible subscription; great for walks and while doing housework.

• This exercise bike saved me with endorphins over lockdown: www.argos.co.uk/product/5999374

• Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube.

• If you have Spotify, have a look at 'theorganisedmum' daily playlist. She does a new one every weekday and they are so upbeat and always improve my mood. Listen to it while getting ready in the morning rather than doing any cleaning.

• TV recommendations: Selling sunset on Netflix (ultimate trash tv escapism) and ghosts on BBC iPlayer.

• Book recommendation: The Midnight Library by Matt Haig.

I think the key for me is going to be motivating my arse to get out and do stuff instead of just sitting at home moping - when life serves up lemons I have a tendency to become good friends with the black dog if I'm not careful.

Set a timer and tell yourself you only have to do 5/10 minutes of whatever it is that you're not keen on doing. 9 times out of 10 I carry on after the timer is up.

I plan on getting outside when the weather is fine for a walk/start couch to 5k again. I’m going to my gym whenever I can. I plan to exit winter stronger and as healthy as I can. I want to read more books and cut down on social media time. That’s the aim anyway!!

MJMG2015 I bought some waterproof lightweight walking shoes/trainers from Merrell, they're very light and comfortable. I've also realised that my Stan Smith Adidas trainers seem pretty waterproof, after years of useless fabric trainers that don't keep any rain out.

You've reminded us we need to go and have a look at how Canada and Scandinavia deal with this time of year...

Personally, definitely planning on:

• getting out for at least a 45 minute walk each day during the hours of daylight (even if it's chucking it down and it's just into town and back or to the nearest park)
• Yoga, pilates, mindfulness, meditation
• working on my photography, which I've kind of abandoned due to the whole shock of COVID-19
• reading, audio books (check out what's on offer at your local library once you're a member, you might be very pleasantly surprised, also lots of them do great magazine subscriptions as well)
• lots of box sets
• eating sensibly, taking Vitamin D supplements, making soup and bread
• having a major clearout to sell and/or donate and/or scrap if it can't be reclaimed - clothes, books, CDs, DVDs, knackered old furniture...we had to go to the tip this week and it was almost a pleasure as it was so much quieter than normal due to the "you can only go in on an even day" thing they've implemented
• lots of lovely bubble baths
• finding new bands on YouTube, listening to a few TED talks
• look at our lighting - candles, halogen lights, maybe a SAD lamp (I'm sure we used to have one...)
• playing with the cats - they don't like going out when the weather is miserable so we have various tunnels and flappy fish and things to keep them entertained indoors

I might even get round to actually starting that novel I keep muttering about...(and yes, I will be working from home throughout, pretty much full-time, for which I am very, very grateful)