AIBU to wonder if I am just lazy? Or am I justified.

[Brittanyspears2006]

During my teenage years, I suffered from horrendous painful periods. I was always in the school medical room during school time. It was the 90's and I was never taken to the doctors about it, it was just one of those things. I remember one day a mother that I used to babysit for saw me walking on my hands and knees trying to get home one day when I was sent home from school - it was that bad.

During my early twenties, I had endometriosis, fibroids, and mild PCOS. I went years without being diagnosed. It ended up with me needing surgery and eventually IVF to try and conceive. I struggled quite a bit at the time for energy for my job. During the week it was all I could manage to go to work, home, dinner, and bed, literally no energy for anything else.

Post children, I started getting more weird symptoms and extreme fatigue. I was told it was in my mind then eventually got diagnosed with Hashimotos Thyroiditis and Pernicious anemia. My B12 levels were so low that I had Macrocytic anaemia and now have to have regular B12 injections. I am now on all the medications that I need but the fatigue still lingers and I was talk that it often never goes away.

I cope with my two children, work and family life but there is literally no energy for anything else. I try to fit in exercise a few times a week as it makes my mental health better. If I'm invited to a social event I have to look at what I have on around that date to work out if I will have the energy or whether it will take me a few days to recover. If I overdo it I suffer from flu-like symptoms. I always go to bed early and I rarely go out in the evenings as I suffer for it the next day (not from alcohol).

I hate being like this and it is always coupled with a feeling that I am just being lazy. I never, ever talk about my illnesses so apart from family, no one even knows. They aren't life-threatening and I am grateful for that. Sometimes, I try and do more and then end up wiped out for a few days. I am just so sick of this fatigue that never goes away.

Am I being lazy and I just need to pull myself together.
Or should I just take things at my own pace?

told

For a start you might need B12 injections far more regularly. There’s a great group on Facebook. Wake up B12 I think it’s called. They have amazing files and resources .

You may also have chronic fatigue/fibromyalgia/ME which takes a long time to get diagnosed and there’s no treatment but there’s support from varying groups etc.

Apart from that, your body has been through a lot and may still be recovering. It might take years.

All in all, no, you aren’t lazy. Listen to your body.

I have Hashimotos and I also constantly question myself about laziness. It’s never ending! When my children used to go to their dad’s at the weekend I would spend the entire weekend either in the bath or in bed. It’s called chronic fatigue and it’s a pig.
Sounds like you have a good handle on how to manage your energy, taking days to recover from an event is classic chronic fatigue.
Like the previous poster said, there is no cure. But you can look after yourself without the flogging: you are raising kids, working and exercising which is fantastic. Stop giving yourself such a hard time, be kind , it’s not your fault that you got Hashimotos, probably genetic, my aunt had it.
This is what I’ve found helpful: low carbs/high veg /high protein diet.
Excercise that is low on cardio and more focused on muscles like weight training and yoga.
Vitamin C
And I saved up and saw (on video) a private doctor in London who prescribed T3 which has made a massive difference to my mood and lifted the brain fog. In case you don’t know and sorry if you do, Thyroxine is T4 and your body, adrenals I think, convert it to T3 so you can use it. If you’re rubbish at converting into T3 then the Thyroxine doesn’t work very well. And you feel low and depressed and quite often your doctor will offer you anti depressants. They like to help!
T3 is contentious because your dr will tell you it costs the nhs £500 a month to prescribe it to you. This is rubbish. Even if you see a consultant he won’t prescribe it. I buy it and it costs me about £50 for three months and I love it. The expensive part is seeing the private dr.
Don’t beat yourself up, you’re doing great!

I didn’t want to read and run but I am so sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like hell on earth and well done for living with it and still ‘doing’ life xx