How do you deal with this?

[jumbomumboh]

And AIBU to be bloody fed up?

As a child I grew up incredibly close to my mum, she often used to dislike any friends I made. As I got older, she disliked my boyfriends or would stop talking to me.

Everytime something good in my life happens, she stops talking to me. Examples, when I graduated, when I got married, when I gave birth and now, I've sold my flat and am moving to a larger house.

When things settle, she starts talking again and turns the blame to me. She always says "after everything I have done for your financially, this is what you do to me" (she helped me out at uni etc).

I lost my child this year and the only time she has contacted me (without me contacting first) is to rub it in my face she was working for the charity which helped me and made me feel awful I can't volunteer as I work full time (shifts).

It breaks my heart.

I think you should have as little to do with her as possible. Why do you maintain the relationship at all? Just because she's your mum, doesn't mean she can treat you poorly.

I think anybody would be fed up, to be honest, and fed up is putting it mildly. I'd be swearing quite a lot.

I don't know to be honest. I ask myself the same thing.

I think I just want my mum to be a proper mum.

Painful though it is, she will probably never be the person you wish she was. She's clearly created a disordered relationship with you all your life.

Facing the fact that you can't save the situation (because you're not the one creating the problems) will help you, ultimately.

I'm sorry.

Thanks @Eckhart funnily enough I blocked her from my life for around 7 months and it was bliss.

She cake back all lovely and full of promises yet here we are again..

She sounds emotionally abusive. You don’t need that.

I'm really so very sorry for the loss of your child. I hope within your immense grief that you find the strength to move your toxic mother out of your life and focus on rebuilding your life.