To insist on Written Undertakings re child contact

[Marchmarch]

My soon to be ex husband has shamelessly slagged me off to the children and was recently moved out. He hasn’t seen the children since he went a couple of weeks ago and my solicitor has indicated that we are not happy about unsupervised contact because he seems to have no insight into his actions - the running me down all the time, subtle alienation, not to mention financial and coercive control.

The children want to see him. He’s moved an hour away with relatives and wants them overnight. Getting “written undertakings” from him to promise that he doesn’t slag me off or twist the children, has been suggested. Could that work? He is otherwise very law abiding.

He’s currently talking to the children on speaker phone/FaceTime with me in the background, but no more than that. Kids are all primary. He gets tearful but to be fair if they start asking when they can see him, he says “we can’t talk about that. I really want to see you but we can’t talk about it.” And then the kids complain to me.

Wwyd?

Send him a letter asking him to sort out a time to see the children

He sounds like he is setting you up for a parental alienation case

Don't let the kids/him blame you just say you have no idea why dad isn't seeing them

A written undertaking is not going to stop him doing it if he wants to. If he goes to court, he will get unsupervised contact.

He sounds like the kind of person who will find a way to be manipulative.critical of you regardless of the situation, so you might as well just let them see him, and be the best parent you can and not put them in the middle, even if he does.

The Separated Parents Information Programme might be useful to you.

Slippery, I’ve told them that Daddy made some bad choices and they understand that he was trying to get them to take sides. I’ve put it in writing that I’m very keen to facilitate their relationship but he needs to behave in a way that isn’t damaging to them.

RosieJaune I’ll look up that program, Thankyou.

Sounds like a calculating nasty git doing that to the kids OP.. definitely seek advice because of he is continually running you down to the kids he is also guilty of alienation .. very manipulating 🌺