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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be about to lose my temper with Bridezilla colleague?

56 replies

NotLikeTheRegulars · 16/10/2020 11:26

The wedding isn’t even until NY! There is no conversation that can’t be directed to mention The Wedding. She’s even declining work and rearranging projects (which has a knock on effect on the rest of us) because ‘I’ll be sooooo stressed’ Hmm there are going to be ten people there and one of them is the photographer! Wtf is there to stress about?!

OP posts:
BloggersBlog · 16/10/2020 12:38

@WhereverIGoddamnLike

Dont talk to the manager about her constantly mentioning the wedding. Tall to the manager about her refusing to do her work and dumping it on the rest if you.

That's not about the wedding; that's about her not doing her job, and you having to do it for her.

I think this is good advice. This way you are taking any emotion out of it and keeping to the basics, she isnt doing her job. Management should be interested in that. If you mention the wedding they will put it down to office chitchat/you are jealous (always a default reason for anything)/she needs to offload to her office friends Hmm

If that doesnt work - @FelicityPike has nailed it

FelicityPike · 16/10/2020 12:47

@NotLikeTheRegulars

Felicity, I feel like you have been through this before and it has affected you greatly Grin
That obvious, huh? Lol
dottycharlotti · 16/10/2020 12:53

Tell her all weddings are cancelled until May 2021.

crosspelican · 16/10/2020 13:02

You can't stop somebody being irritating, but declining work and rearranging projects over a pre-planned stress-out over a tiny wedding is completely taking the piss, and I would definitely be talking to my manager. If she can't organise a day out for 10 people without it becoming her sole topic of conversation for months on end, I'd be questioning her ability to get through the day, frankly.

nosswith · 16/10/2020 13:04

Talk to her manager about this rearranging of work.

I am a man and am glad I am not her fiancee.

BitOfFun · 16/10/2020 13:08

A man?

To be about to lose my temper with Bridezilla colleague?
iamaMused · 16/10/2020 13:15

Many years ago I worked with a lovely girl who turned into Bridezilla the minute her fiancé proposed, for 2 whole years I did my job and 80% of hers, it was in the days of itemised phone bills with top 10 friends and family and at one time 4 of the top 5 were to her 3 bridesmaids, and the wedding planner (the other number was to the local sandwich shop... we all turned to food to cope). Unfortunately 5 months after the wedding of the century he left her for the woman he was having an affair with for2 years as he said he "didn't recognise her" after her proposed. Tell your colleague this story and 🤞 you get an hour or two of peace. There is a nice side to the story as this lady and I are still friends and she has remarried to a much nicer fella and has 2 gorgeous children.

iamaMused · 16/10/2020 13:17

Oh and BTW definitely but politely tell her manager, they need to know if it's affecting her work, with everything that's happening at the moment she may be glad she still has a job when the weddings over.

CoralFish · 16/10/2020 13:19

@nosswith

Talk to her manager about this rearranging of work.

I am a man and am glad I am not her fiancee.

I am a woman, and if I was her fiance I would probably be glad she was unloading on her colleagues instead of me! Grin
Searchesforhipbones · 16/10/2020 13:22

I swear to god something absolutely batshit happens to some women after The Proposal. I have quite a wide and varied group of friends and can instantly think of four lovely, sensible, successful friends from different groups who behaved in various batshit ways.

I got married a few years after some of my friends, and I was so scarred (esp by a couple of bridesmaiding nightmares) that I think I went the other way as I was so TERRIFIED of it happening to me. Ie I had no bridesmaids which really offended e.g. my sister, I had one trying on session in one shop and bought one of the five dresses I tried on, I had no cake and no first dance and no favours and saved allll the money for an open bar for all and free travel and accommodation for family. But I never would have thought of any of this had I not seen these lovely friends lose their shit over The Dress, The Dance, What The Caterer Did Wrong, How My Bridesmaid-Best-Friend-of-Twenty-Years Offended Me Today etc.

Ten years out of all of it and I can think of one bride whose initial tight group of schoolfriends still don't speak to her and another bride whose childhood best friend hates her with a passion.

It's batshit. Thankfully the wedding era passes, which is a shame because they are really fun on the night!

BlueJava · 16/10/2020 13:35

I feel for you OP - we had one of these at work. I wanted to throttle her. There was once an hour long call about a specific type of glass! I mean wtf? Who gives a shit about the glass, use a plastic beaker if necessary. I've been with my DP 25+ years, 2 grown up kids, never married. I don't even regard it as necessary and certainly not interesting!

MrsToothyBitch · 16/10/2020 13:35

I was wondering if you worked with an ex colleague of mine who just got married, actually. She would take a day off for the opening of any old envelope and I bet she spent all of last/early this yr see her claiming that her wedding is "only x many, many months away" and she's "soooooo stressed" so needs muchos time off to be petted and cosetted. She also didn't give a flying fuck about anyone else's holiday entitlement or how her work ethic screwed the rest of us over. Princess had to have her days off to go pet a hamster or something. Despite wailing about stress she seemed oblivious to the amount she caused the rest of us.

I feel desperately sorry for anyone screwed over by Covid, but I did smirk a little when I knew her original wedding got fucked over. Blush Fortunately she's in retail so going back into lockdown might spare her new colleagues the horror of the recaps for a bit!

AcrossthePond55 · 16/10/2020 13:35

Our office was pretty much 'older' women (ie weddings were WAY in our pasts) and we had this with a much younger colleague. We just listened for 5 minutes, nodded, and said "Yes, yes, dear it sounds very stressful (or exciting). Now we must get on with work. That's what they pay us for!" .

Her excitement didn't affect her work however. She kept up her end of things with no problems. So if Bridezilla is affecting work assignments or rotas, speak to management.

Original poster
NotLikeTheRegulars · 16/10/2020 14:01

@BitOfFun you made my day with that. Saved for future use Grin

OP posts:
Metallicalover · 16/10/2020 14:01

Are you married OP?
I was the most laid back bride. As long as we were getting married and the food was nice it would be a good day! An example: My mam was going to the fruit shop (which also does flowers and that's where I was getting my wedding flowers from) and I gave her the money to just order some nice white flowers for the wedding (so many bouquets for bridemaids and so many button holes) while she was there! I didn't really care as they always do nice flower arrangements!
I find just telling the bridezilla that I was the least bride like person and that as long as they both turn up, the person who is doing the ceremony and registrar turn up then it's sorted! And close a lid on it! 🤣🤣

Then the friggin wedding blues come and all the updates of how the photos are going/ wedding videos 🙄 don't get me wrong I like to see a bride and say ahh at a few photos and see the proud parents etc but then that's it! Haha!

Brighterthansunflowers · 16/10/2020 14:07

I agree talk to your/her manager but focus on her refusing to do work rather than her being annoying.

She can’t just opt out of her job because of her personal life

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 16/10/2020 14:12

@FelicityPike

Half whisper “I don’t fucking care” over and over. Write a footer in white on your emails “no one gives a shit about your wedding”. Look deeply into her eyes and say “I’m actually loosing the fucking will to live” then walk away.
The white footer thing is genius! Grin
Original poster
NotLikeTheRegulars · 16/10/2020 14:26

No, I'm not married. I scare men off so I'll need a net not a veil Grin

OP posts:
Isthisnothing · 16/10/2020 14:31

"ok could we have ONE conversation today that doesn't revolve around your wedding? Let's just try. Then tomorrow we will try for two and so forth."

ZoeCM · 16/10/2020 14:36

If you were feeling particularly cruel, you could remind her that no one knows how tight the restrictions will be by then, and send her this video of the police breaking up a wedding restriction for having too many guests.

Nah, seriously, don't do that. But I would be tempted...

BogRollBOGOF · 16/10/2020 14:37

@nevermorelenore

Oh lord. There's nothing worse than working in a small office with someone who is planning The Wedding of the Year. I suggest you start looking for a new job now, in case she gets pregnant on her honeymoon.
Not so tricky this year, the pool of competition is unusually small Grin

I would try to err on the side of generosity that this has not been the easiest year to plan and actually carry out a wedding.

flatnightmare · 16/10/2020 15:21

@FelicityPike

Half whisper “I don’t fucking care” over and over. Write a footer in white on your emails “no one gives a shit about your wedding”. Look deeply into her eyes and say “I’m actually loosing the fucking will to live” then walk away.
I don't think anyone would do this, would they?
jeaux90 · 16/10/2020 15:29

God she's one of those.

People who organise the fun out of their own wedding.

TurquoiseDragon · 16/10/2020 15:43

I have used the white footer idea before. Can be applied to a number of different situations....

thepeopleversuswork · 16/10/2020 16:22

I were you I'd point out that there's a well-documented inverse correlation between the amount of time and fuss spent on planning a wedding (and talking about it) and the length of the marriage.

always works like a charm for me Smile

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