To expect a 4 year old to need a reminder

[Hangingwithmygnomies]

My son is one of the youngest in reception and has not long turned 4 so is one of the yougest in his class/year group. He has sensitive skin and suffers from eczema but not to the extent of needing a care plan for creams to be applied frequently at school etc. and hasn't had a flare up for a while. I have noticed his hands are very red, sore and dry, very possibly from the very frequent hand washing at school, so I spoke to our school family liaison officer (whom I have avery good relationship with due to older SEN child at the same school) about it and asked if I could send certain soap and hand cream (antibacterial) in for him to use instead of the school soap to which she agreed and I confirmed with his class teacher that it was in his bag, confirmed it could stay with him and not in the office. It's been a couple of days now and no improvement at all, so I asked DS2 if he had been using what I sent and putting his cream on and he said no, backed up by the lack of use in the little named bottle I supplied. His little hands are so, so sore and I worry about.keeping on top of it to prevent his hands becoming cracked and infected. Now I truly appreciate that they have a lot of children in the class but AIBU that when they have their scheduled handwash time, they remind him to use his soap and/or remind him to put his cream on? If IABU what else would you suggest?

Tricky. You can ask them to remind him and I'm sure they'll do their best but like you say it is sometimes difficult to keep things like this in your head when you've got thirty kids to marshal around.

I don’t think YABU at all. I’m having similar issues with my DD who is 3. Her hands are so very sore and cracked. They get better over the weekend then it flares again as soon as she is back in pre-school. Please raise this again. I also suffer with it on my own hands and it is not fun, it’s tight and sore and it impacts everything I touch.

Of course you’re not being unreasonable- he’s 4!

It would be good if they could remember but no I personally woul dnot be upset if they don't as they do have a lot of kids to sort out.

Can you put it in his pocket, snack box, pencil case etc. for him to see himself? - this worked for my son for things (not as serious of a thing for him but he did remember doing it that way)

Can you practise at home and make it a routine? Wash hands, dry hands, cream hands. Maybe make up a little jingle for him to sing while he's washing his hands that reminds him to use his cream afterwards?

@seayork2020

It would be good if they could remember but no I personally woul dnot be upset if they don't as they do have a lot of kids to sort out.

Can you put it in his pocket, snack box, pencil case etc. for him to see himself? - this worked for my son for things (not as serious of a thing for him but he did remember doing it that way)

I know and I honestly do appreciate that they have so many children but his hands are honestly so red, at first I thought it was the dye from his batj crayons 😳 No pencil cases allowed and being KS1 he gets snack and lunch provided by school so nothing to take with him. I may try @AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken suggestion though

Maybe try a small bottle of hand wash on a lanyard that he can wear so it’s always accessible?

With Covid I know they’ve put out little containers of hand sanitizer on string just not sure where you would find them. YANBU but I wouldn’t rely on teachers

Hope you figure it out soon

Personally I'd expect but that's just because I know our school are responsible for children who are diabetic and have allergies and watch out for them and I'd assume he falls into the same category. And of course yes because he's 4!!!

I've a child in nursery who's 3, he comes and tell me when he wants his eczema cream fir hand washing..

Does your son not ask then?

Also he needs a care plan and shouldn't have free access to his own havdwash that other children could possibly access too (ie not out of reach).

Like a pp poster suggested, I’d be tempted to get him one of the wee bottles that have a carabiner clip on them and he could wear it on a lanyard/clipped to his belt. My DD’s school have changed the soap and her hands have started breaking out so I think I may have to consider this. She’s older though so I’d expect her to remember but I can imagine she won’t!

The teacher can read so she or he can put a note on her desk to say remind 'Tommy' to use special soap.

Your little lad can't read (I presume) so he needs that help to remember.

I'd be very surprised if a teacher felt unable to do this.

One of mine is allergic to soap among other things. When they started school the teachers were really good about him not using the class dispenser and having his own seperate one but near to the main one When they were out of the classroom his teacher was proactive in supplying a hand sanitiser that he was able to use. I know it's difficult at the moment but it doesn't seem that great a deal for them to remind him to use his seperate container.

Gardencoffee a Reception child wouldn’t be allowed to wear a lanyard.

Is there a TA in class OP? Mention it to the TA as they might have a little more time.

Pre-school children shouldn’t be expected to remember this stuff. Adults should, and if there are too many children for this to happen then the ratio is wrong.

Agree with pp about care plan. This seems quite a minor condition to have one for, but it's definitely bit unreasonable to ask then to consider him for a care plan. It will make his health needs at the forefront of staff minds, instead of being just a little thing that mum has asked them to do.

For the shirt term though, just ask and exolain again. The message may have been missed or forgotten.

You're definitely not being unreasonable, but that doesn't mean his teacher is either. Soon it will become a routine if they teach him well and they won't have to remind him then. Maybe you could help at home by using the same little bottles everytime he washes hands there.

Can you attach it to his book bag? Or ask the teacher to keep it on her desk, more of a visible reminder to remind him.

My dd is 4 and would need a gentle reminder. My son is 3 and would ask for the hand wash himself. All kids are different. If your son needs to be reminded they should all be aware so they can help him. Sore, cracked hands can be painful and I would expect the carers at preschool to at least notice that his hands are sore.

@Mammyloveswine

I've a child in nursery who's 3, he comes and tell me when he wants his eczema cream fir hand washing..

Does your son not ask then?

Also he needs a care plan and shouldn't have free access to his own havdwash that other children could possibly access too (ie not out of reach).

No, it seems he doesn't ask but that could be because his hands breaking out like this is new for him. He normally gets eczema in the crooks of his elbows and the back of his knees, so hand creaming isn't normally needed.

I'll remind him to ask and I'll ask his teacher to try to remember. We break up today for 2 weeks so will speak to them about a care plan when they go back. Thanks everyone some useful tips here for us to try

@Sceptre86

My dd is 4 and would need a gentle reminder. My son is 3 and would ask for the hand wash himself. All kids are different. If your son needs to be reminded they should all be aware so they can help him. Sore, cracked hands can be painful and I would expect the carers at preschool to at least notice that his hands are sore.

To be fair to the teachers, when I first saw it i thought it was just some red dye from his bath crayons, it wasn't until I properly looked and his skin is very, very dry like sandpaper and sore to touch, no cracks yet but obviously I want to avoid that. Also I smother them in cream over night so they look better in the morning when he goes in.

I think the idea from a PP is best. Keep his handwashing stuff in his school bag but have it accessible at home. Then when he goes to the loo he has to remember to go the bag for the soap first. You can try reminding the school, but with so many kids it'll be hard to keep ensuring they do remind him.

Oh bless him , he's 4 . Yes he should be reminded .

It’s possible that the message hasn’t got through to the teacher and TA properly yet, it would probably be best to tell the teacher directly. Also offer to leave the bottle you want used at school so that it is always there, it’s too much to expect it to be brought out of the bag and remembered at the end of every day.

YANBU he is still so tiny bless him. His teacher should be reminding him, 4 year olds forget, older kids forget aswell but at this age he should certainly be having adult support to ensure he actually does it and not just reminding him. I hope things improve it makes me upset thinking of his poor little hands.

Thank you everyone for the tips. I managed to speak with his teacher this morning and she is going to put his handwash and cream on her desk as a reminder and we'll do the routine at home as well so he gets used to having to cream after washing so that it's his normal for when they go back after half term. I've no problem if they want to keep it at school for him as I have plenty of both here, so may suggest that they keep it rather than someone having to remember to put it back in his bag