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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to listen to sex ALL DAY

182 replies

EatAFajita · 15/10/2020 21:16

Just that really. Been working from home since the start of lockdown. I live in an end terraced house with paper thin walls.

Lived here for 5 years and although I get on with my next door neighbour her 18/19 year old son is VERY loud. I get the gaming, shouting through the headset etc however over the last couple of weeks I've had to listen to the son having sex most days. Several times a day. I'm using headphones in the day whilst working so I can concentrate but now he's just been at it again and his room is on the party wall with my children's.

I'm feeling like I can't enjoy my home at the moment and as soon as I hear the now familiar sound of his bed creaking I feel sick. Am I being OTT?

OP posts:
sbhydrogen · 15/10/2020 21:17

Bang on the wall 🤣

Shizzlestix · 15/10/2020 21:17

YANBU, this would make me cringe! Does your neighbour know?

Bargebill19 · 15/10/2020 21:21

Shout words of encouragement back .... such as “that’s it lad you can do it”.... or bang on the wall at the crucial moment. Or both.

Original poster
EatAFajita · 15/10/2020 21:23

Banging on the wall doesn't work...I've had to bang before at around midnight when his gaming shouting woke up my children. He banged back!!

She's at work in the day, so I didn't think that she knew but I'm guessing she's in as her car is.

Would you say anything?

OP posts:
Plussizejumpsuit · 15/10/2020 21:27

I'd definitely say something. He has no consideration for you so why should you be worried about coming across as rude by saying something?

Nottherealslimshady · 15/10/2020 21:28

I'd ask the mum to ask him to have sex quieter as you feel uncomfortable hearing it all day. Hopefully that conversation will make him think.

Original poster
EatAFajita · 15/10/2020 21:31

Thanks. I feel like on one hand I'm being a prude but I cannot tell you how many times/sessions the creaking bed and moans of erm joy have occurred today (didn't even think it was possible!) However I draw the line at my children having to listen to it.

OP posts:
Original poster
EatAFajita · 15/10/2020 21:33

@Nottherealslimshady I like that. Its all gone quiet now...but for how long...
OK, can I message her that or should it be face to face? Blush

OP posts:
DrivingMo · 15/10/2020 21:34

It depends. If you have a problem that he's having sex, you're being a prude. If you have a problem with the level of noise then you're being reasonable to ask him to stop. I wouldn't go to his mummy though, he's an adult, you're an adult - you can ask him directly to keep it down.

eatsleepread · 15/10/2020 21:34

Can't believe he just banged right back on the wall! Very rude. He sounds like a wee wanker. Actually, that's probably exactly what he's doing.

RuffleCrow · 15/10/2020 21:35

That's grim. I had to shout at my neighbour once for that. It was disgusting. I think he'd hired a prostituted woman and she was hamming it up to try and get him to finish quickly. Went on for hours nonetheless. Poor woman.

Bargebill19 · 15/10/2020 21:35

Have a chat with mum and ask if he could use more lube, as it sounds as if he’s in pain.

RuffleCrow · 15/10/2020 21:37

And yeah i'd talk to her about it rather than him. For all you know he's doing it deliberately to intimidate you because he knows you're home alone.

Scweltish · 15/10/2020 21:38

I’d defo tell the mum your children are having to listen to her son shagging

Lipz · 15/10/2020 21:38

@Bargebill19

Shout words of encouragement back .... such as “that’s it lad you can do it”.... or bang on the wall at the crucial moment. Or both.
😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 That's hilarious
DrivingMo · 15/10/2020 21:39

@RuffleCrow

And yeah i'd talk to her about it rather than him. For all you know he's doing it deliberately to intimidate you because he knows you're home alone.
That's the most hilarious thing I've read in a long time. A teenager has loud sex and his neighbour hears and Mumsnet has decided that he's intentionally abusing his neighbour. Ok, sure Hmm
RuffleCrow · 15/10/2020 21:42

Oh come on @drivingmo - even you must realise having sex involves at least two people!

Wanking loudly at the woman next door from dawn to dusk just doesn't count, I'm afraid.

Original poster
EatAFajita · 15/10/2020 21:42

@DrivingMo no I've no issue that he's having sex, but the fact that I've had to listen to it at least 4 times today. And twice this evening so far. There's no escape.

haha @eatsleepread there's definitely someone else involved.

@RuffleCrow sounds very grim.

@Bargebill19 haha love it.

OP posts:
Badgerbadger88 · 15/10/2020 21:43

You need to think of a lie to save face here.

  1. tell him that someone knocked on your door and asked if you were ok because they could hear strange noises. And that you had to explain it was him having sex.

  2. phone his mum and say “something weird is happening in your house. Sounds like someone is in pain??”

  3. you thought someone was being attacked and it scared the kids...

Just think of a plausible lie. And go with it. A lie that’ll embarrass him Grin and his mum!

Whatever you do - don’t fall out.

QueenOfLabradors · 15/10/2020 21:43

I've had success in the past with a cheery 'Hiya, I'm so pleased you and are so happy together!'

That's usually worked, I did once have to reinforce it with a pointedly loud conversation with another neighbour who was also a bit annoyed with no.xxx's loud and enthusiastic love life with wide open windows lots of swearing and on a school night... Grin!

Notimeforaname · 15/10/2020 21:45

RuffleCrow

And yeah i'd talk to her about it rather than him. For all you know he's doing it deliberately to intimidate you because he knows you're home alone

I cant stop laughing 🤣

DrivingMo · 15/10/2020 21:45

@RuffleCrow

Oh come on *@drivingmo* - even you must realise having sex involves at least two people!

Wanking loudly at the woman next door from dawn to dusk just doesn't count, I'm afraid.

Eh? What are you talking about?
IAintentDead · 15/10/2020 21:45

If her car is there are you sure it is the son.

Or does the car that you think is hers belong to his girlfriend.

Halliehallie9828 · 15/10/2020 21:46

If the walls are paper thin what are you expecting? Even if he’s quieter you will still hear it

Lolwhat · 15/10/2020 21:47

I don’t really think you can say anything about the loud sex specifically and I don’t think he was rude to bang back when you did, he’s just doing the same thing. I do think you should speak to him about the general noise level and let him know you can hear everything🤢

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