to contemplate going home to Germany with the dd's, but without ds?

[emkana]

Because of ds's chest problems it is very difficult to impossible to fly with him, as it aggravates things. We are going over this month in the car (all of us), but then the next holiday we can do that won't be until next April, which is a long time. My mum will come over at Christmas, but then it will again be four months until April, and my mum is on her own and my dad is in a nursing home with end-stage Alzheimer's. So I've been contemplating to take the dd's over in Feb half-term for a few days,leaving ds with dh and my MIL. Would that be cruel? Ds will be 20 months then.

not cruel. ds will be fine with dh and mil and i am sure your girls would love some time with you, do it!

No, not cruel at all- he's used to your MIL, presumably, so I'm sure he'll be fine, and I can see why you would want to go back.

Goodness no ! He won't understand why you're leaving him (= good thing) but your mother will really appreciate your care, and enjoy her grand daughters. Your little boy will be loved and will have fun while you're away.

When my dad was dying I had to fly to see him/my mother, and left ds3 (4th child) at home with dh. He was around 2 - wouldn't have been good to bring him.

Not at all. He's too little to take it personally and your DDs are presumably older and they will love the trip which will feel all grown up and girly

he wont know your having a fun holiday without him at 20 monthes so you should go

Great, will book tickets asap!

I do hope that ds will become fly-able one day though... [sigh]

they can have male bonding time

not at all cruel, I agree with everyone else.

I often take just one child when I go over for the weekend, I couldn't handle all three on my own now when I'm at my parents, and it gets too expensive anyway.