His ex still sleeps over at his house.

[pollyflowers]

I have just recently started seeing a new guy. He split up with his ex at the beginning of the year, they were engaged and had a house together.

I've just got back from our third date and he has told me that his ex still frequently stays at their house (it is near her work). He is in the process of buying her out, but in the meantime she still sleeps over there frequently.

I feel like this is still a very new and messy situation, and not something I really want to get involved in. I am looking for a relationship and I really don't feel comfortable with their ex fiancé staying over frequently, or the limitations it will have on our relationship for the time being. For an example, his ex-fiancé is staying there this weekend so we can't do anything that involves his place...

I guess she stills own a share in the house but I wouldn't be comfortable with that arrangement.

Personally, I'd tell him I'm only interested in a single person and leave him to it. If he's into you, he'll make himself fully single. If not, then he's not for you.

While their lives are so linked and she's staying over, they're really not finished yet.

Are they definitely separated?

I had a similar problem to this when I split with my ex husband. We split amicably and it took an absolute age to sell the house. We would sometimes both use the house (for reasons too boring to go into) but we were genuinely split and nothing ever happened. We both had new partners and mine trusted all was cool, his didn't. She was so insecure. In the end I rented a flat for the week or so a month I needed to be in the area, but every time that rent standing order left my account I'd be fed up with her lack of trust. They're still together and my ex and I never talk now, even though we'd have happily kept exchanging Christmas cards. Not all split couples want to keep on banging one another.

Yea I couldn't deal with that. It's all kinds of wrong. Not saying he is doing anything with her but come on...
That would be a no from me. Call me when your ex moves out type of thing.