This is going to be long so please bare with me. Basically we have been together for 3 years and have a DS who is 1 and things are just so miserable lately. DH never seems to want to spend anytime together as a family and it’s really hurtful.
The row started this morning because we were going to go to my MIL’s, and DH said he couldn’t be bothered to go and for me and DS to just go. I simply said don’t you want to spend time with us today? It was his first and only day off this week, he hasn’t seen our DS for 5 days as he has been on late shifts apart from the odd 10 minutes before he leaves etc, so I would have thought he’d want to spend time together as a family, but clearly I was wrong.
Started off a big argument about how he never gets time to himself, he said he works all week and I get 5 days off a week, I have gone back to work for 2 days and I get to do whatever I want in those 5 days. He seems to think being a mother full time is easy. I tried to explain I don’t have any time off at all, 5 days a week I have DS and the other 2 days I’m at work myself. But no that’s not good enough. I get 5 days off a week. It was what we agreed after my maternity would happen otherwise I’d be working full time to put DS in nursery and that’s not something we wanted. But now it’s being thrown back in my face. If I made more money in my role full time then I’d happily switch but no that’s not good enough either.
He’s just so frustrating, he knows he has power over me. He owns the house. He bought it with his ex long before I moved in. He’s never put me on the mortgage because he’s always told me it costs 3k (which is something we haven’t had spare) so every time we argue he throws get out it’s my house in my face knowing I have no where else to go. I just don’t know what to do anymore.
Find it so infuriating how he never lets me cool off after an argument, he’s straight there saying it’s not fair to leave him hanging after I said I wanted a night to think about things, I said I was going to go to my sisters for the night, but he was in my face saying so what’s happening I deserve to know etc. Apparently if I said we are over he said I’ll have a timeline to get my stuff or he’ll throw it on the garden? I said to him what the fuck is wrong with you? I just don’t understand. Why can’t I have a night to just breathe, it’s always on his terms even though he said I’m always the one in control because I wouldn’t tell him what I wanted to do right this second.
It’s hard because I don’t want to upset DS or break his family but sometimes I really don’t like the way he is, and speaks to me. Especially how he throws the house in my face. Am I in the wrong?