Is gambling £5 a day on bets bad?

[DisneyBaby]

My husband thinks it's acceptable to gamble £5 a day on bets, sometimes more on the weekends.
All our money is joint, we don't have separate money because when we used to have separate money several years ago, he would never have any of his left to save for anything because of betting.
I think he has a problem because he goes in a cycle from betting a little to betting a fair bit to not betting at all when I have had a massive row with him over it, and we are in a never ending cycle of this happening!
He doesn't think £5 a day is a lot to bet, but that's £150 a month, which I think is a lot! Plus he does extra weekend bets too!
At his worst, he was betting up to £50 a time, and at one point a few years ago he was actually withdrawing cash from a credit card to bet money that he didn't have, so it's not that bad at the moment, but £150 a month is bad enough for me.
We are married and I've always been traditional with the 'what's mine in yours' view, so I don't really want to go back to having separate money. But I feel controlling by saying he can't spend money doing why he wants to do.
What do you ladies think?? TIA

You should make sure you have some savings just in your name in case it escalates and you need to leave. Make sure he can’t take out a loan in both your names- I’m sure there was an Aibu a few months ago where the op’s husband had secretly taken out a 20k loan and she only found out when the bailiffs came round. There’s anti gambling charities such as gambleaware that might be able to help.

Yes it is a slippery slope.
When I worked for an online/phone betting company the men would call and whisper their selection often flushing the toilet as a distraction.
Some would call back and go ape shit when they lost.
Once Coronation street started the phones would get very busy.
It is a mugs game. The bookie always wins.

Yes it’s bad. Gambling everybday is an addiction. Lying and refusing to recognise the problem are other classic signs of addiction.

Hm for £150 / month he could sponsor a lot of children in africa.

Any amount of gambling is too much for me. In a relationship with shared finances it would be a total dealbreaker.

Thanks all, glad to know I'm not the only one.
He makes me feel like I have control issues because I pull him up on it so much!

£150 isn't a crazy amount to us, but at the same time I compare it to a fancy dinner, family day out etc and how far it would stretch paying for other things.
Also with the covid situ, my job is at risk at the moment so it's not very sensible for him to be spending money so carelessly when I may have to rely on him more if I lose my job.

His mates all love a bet but not to the extent that he does, it doesn't help when they all chat about bets at the weekend...

Depends if he’s any good at it and can turn a profit

If you have children, £5 a day ends up more than £30k in 18 years, which you could have spent on them.

It all depends on whether you can afford to spend it and you're happy to spend it really. My husband and I both have a £20 bet each on a Saturday.

However evidently he's had issues with gambling previously at least so if it were my husband I wouldn't be particularly happy about it.

Depends on your financial situation. I love a bit of gambling but always keep the figures low, I spend about the same every month. It's only a problem if you're spending money you can't afford.

It sounds like an addiction, which needs treatment.

In your situation I'd also be squirrelling money out of his reach. If it's an addiction and escalates, he could clear out savings, remortgage the house etc and leave you penniless and with an awful credit rating.

He might as well chuck £150 in the bin each month.

I don’t like gambling in general so this is a relationship that I just wouldn’t be in. But I smoke which is arguably a worse and just as expensive habit, and I like wine as well, so who I am to judge?

Up until the point that you’ve mentioned debt and taking cash out of credit cards. I mean I would never spend money I don’t have or my family needed on vices. And I also wouldn’t expect my partner to sub my habits

So, £1,825 a year (forgive me if I'm wrong- mental maths at this time of night is not a good idea!)?

That's an expensive hobby. It'd be a no from me.

Betting daily is ridiculous and a problem. Tell him he could win £150 every month if he put it in a jar daily instead.

He has an addiction. And what you're seeing is the money he is placing on bets but what is he doing with any "winnings"? I imagine he is re-betting that money too.

I had a gambling addiction and won thousands and lost thousands. I started using online slot machines and was spinning£20 a pop just like that, every three seconds. Madness.

You should tell him to atl east set up self restriction limits like he can only deposit £20 a week or something.

If he /you can afford to lose the money, fair enough I suppose it's like a hobby but if he can't or if he's at risk of increasing his bets then he needs to stop.

It is bad. Yes.

He could pop for a pint or two most nights and it would work out the same but it's an addiction that can so easily gets out of hand.

Is it £5 a day or £5 that you know about.

That would be my concern.

My dad probably does £5 a day in the Irish lottery, 49's and the football.

But he's a pensioner, no dependants at home. That's his hobby if you like. He gives me mum housekeeping still and his bet money is his spending money.

@AluckyEllie

You should make sure you have some savings just in your name in case it escalates and you need to leave. Make sure he can’t take out a loan in both your names- I’m sure there was an Aibu a few months ago where the op’s husband had secretly taken out a 20k loan and she only found out when the bailiffs came round. There’s anti gambling charities such as gambleaware that might be able to help.

This. It's all too common that a man will run up a big unpayable debt and hide it from the family until the bailiffs come. And even if the debt's only in his name, bailiffs work on the basis that you have to prove your car, your games console, your jewellery, and so on are yours, otherwise they'll take it.

Absolutely yes but that is because I am surrounded by gambling addicts - DM (bingo/ slots), DB (casino/slots) , exDH (he's a online bookie and he bet on horses dogs, football, death of royal family etc). So might be a bit biased.

I myself for the last year or so have purchased the odd £1 scratchcard and will only buy another one if I win and it sucks because I should know better.

It is an addiction (mine is sort of under control ) , but I also know it's the only way I will ever become financially secure. I know I'm deluded.

I should also point out that I am known as being incredibly sensible with money among the people that know me - from all walks of life, so I think it's very widespread.