A wondering...

[queenoflife]

Posting here for traffic mainly. So my mum was saying the other day how she was watching something on tv a while ago and the parents of a child didn't realise that they had to speak to the child as a baby/toddler...bit of a stupid view but I guess it takes all sorts

I'm sure there are a few other ppl like her who actually don't chat to their children and plonk then in front of the tv all day. Would these children eventually learn to talk or probably not?

I used to work with children that had been bay neglected- left in cots all day, or strapped into a pushchair left facing the wall. They were very far behind in their development, and improved only slowly. TBF they had also had sub-standard nutrition too which didn't help.

But they did talk eventually?

Yes, but they were years behind children their own age. They hadn't developed time and muscle properly, so eating and speaking we're a real effort. Lots of therapeutic input was needed.
Thankfully cases that bad are relatively rare.

Sorry- tone, not time, that's autocorrect messing around.

Ok thanks

Many years ago when I was a teenager, I used to babysit a three-month old baby for a couple in their thirties - their first child. The husband heard his wife chatting to the baby and said to her, “Why are you talking to him? He doesn’t understand!” The DH was a GP

@TimeStoleMyYouth

Many years ago when I was a teenager, I used to babysit a three-month old baby for a couple in their thirties - their first child. The husband heard his wife chatting to the baby and said to her, “Why are you talking to him? He doesn’t understand!” The DH was a GP

That's so sad. Babies love a bit of chatter!

@TimeStoleMyYouth that is shocking for a GP to say that

Before my older child was given speech therapy I was made to go on an NHS course that boiled down to "for the love of God talk to your kid." So my guess is that there is big correlation between speech issues and parents not talking to the child.

On a side note, if one more smug fucker had said "yes well my Tabitha has an incredible vocabulary because I read to her", I may not have been able to control myself.

This is my eldest nephew unfortunately. Spent the first two and a half years of his life strapped in a push chair or in a play pen in front of the TV (his mother's programmes not kids TV either) and never spoken to really.

He didn't really start talking until he was at school. Now nearly 8 and when I heard him about 6 weeks ago, sounded like a 3 year old.

Younger brother is a bit better because his older brother has been trying to talk to him but at 5 he only has a few words, juice, me have etc.

Its very upsetting. We aren't usually allowed to see them as we were quite outspoken about things and they think it was us who reported them to social services (it was).

They'd still learn to talk but at a much slower rate and their speech would be developmentally behind as its the reciprocal nature of conversation - eye contact, voice modification (for example that sing-song baby voice people use), imitation, response, and so on - that helps to build the connections in the brain relating to speech.

It's a real problem, teachers can identify those who weren't sufficiently communicated with, they can catch up but no guarantee. Unfortunately there's more likelihood of adhd in such kids and it's thought the lack of interaction at the critical time means crucial neural pathways are not sufficiently formed - the science is far from perfect because a lot is potentially correlation but it's enough to be worrying. (Some tv does not harm, we are talking about kids who are plonked in from of tvs or tablets and not spoken to for hours.) it's neglect, but I'm not surprised, there was a mum at DD's nursery who asked why (innocently) they were sending books home when they couldn't read yet, she obviously was made to feel very uncomfortable because we all were aghast she not only didn't read nightly to her dc but didn't own a single book! His 4th birthday was 3 weeks later and you can guess what he got lots of! She actually was really receptive of the advice we gave her and I know he went on to progress ok at school (we then moved)

@TimeStoleMyYouth
Shocking. I talk to my dog when it's just the two of us, now the kids left home, can't imagine not talking to your baby

teachers can identify those who weren't sufficiently communicated with

Teachers are not qualified to make any such judgement, they can refer on to the relevant agencies if they have concerns, such as SALT or CAMHS, but unless they're going around inspecting the home environment of their pupils they're not in a position to say whether a child has had sufficient communication.

When I did English Language A-Level (years ago, so the details are a bit hazy) we learned about language acquisition in children, and there's a famous case (in France, I think??) of a girl who was found aged 7ish, severely neglected and never having learned to speak. The research that was done on her case and subsequently found that unless children have acquired language by the age of 7, they'll never be able to pick it up to the extent that they could have done. So they'll have a few words, but the neural pathways that support language cannot develop fully unless they have been created before the age of 7.

Interesting replies everyone. I read online before that talking is like walking - everyone does it but at different rates so it's not a learnt skill but just something everyone does. Is that true?

My DS had a speech delay (only a few part words at 2, limited words at 3, better now at 4 at school, but had a lot of therapy) , and whilst I always talked to him, and read him lots books from when he was born @OrangeGinLemonFanta 😜 I obviously didn't do enough. I went on one of those NHS courses too. My takeaway certainly was "it's the parents fault." I have since noticed I don't speak to my kids as much as others. So I'm not constantly talking, I find speaking constantly very draining. I can however be sociable, but I do think maybe it was my fault. I didn't do baby talk so maybe when I spoke I made it too adult, no doggy. The course as painful as it was taught me to simplify and label things. DH is working very long hours so doesn't see the kids in the week. We will see how DC number 2 does with her speech 😬

I'd also like to say that front facing pushchairs are blamed for speech delays too. I had a parent facing one for DS and he spent the whole time turning around to look behind him anyway 🤔. My second has a forward facing pushchair, so I'm doomed !

Children need to learn to talk by a certain age or they never will - see the very tragic case of Genie, who was raised in terrible neglect and never learned to speak even when rescued: en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genie_(feral_child)

That was, however, an extreme case and she had experienced no real human interaction or education. A child ‘raised by tv’ would be unlikely to suffer such an extreme lack of verbal socialisation (though it would likely lead to a language delay)

@munchmunchly but I do think maybe it was my fault. I didn't do baby talk so maybe when I spoke I made it too adult, no doggy

Please do not think like that! Lots of children have speech delay that have had absolutely no neglect whatsoever.

I treated my children the same. One spoke at five months (one word, 2 words came much later), one did not even babble or attempt to speak, and finally said Mama at 19mo. We didn't do baby talk with either of them, just spoke as we normally do.

Mind you, I was told by teachers that they spoke like 40yos...