Frenemy ...aibu to think these people genuinely exist ?

[terreyyy]

Had a friend for a number of years
It turns out she secretly hated me,was so bitter and jealous.
She turned people against me.
Twisted everything and made it like I was the one in the wrong.
Anybody had any experiences with "frenemys"

Are you the poster whose 'friend' went to the police and accused you of something then turned 2 or 3 friends against you and accused you of harassing her?

Yes. Sadly they exist.

Posted too soon. Yes, people like that exist. Friends who really aren't.
The tricky part is recognising them for what they are.
When you can do that, it's easier to walk away.

I've not had personal experiences but I've heard plenty of stories from others. So yes they sadly do exist.

Oh yes, they exist. My advice, keep your friends close but your frenemys closer. Always be one step ahead.

I could have written your OP!
One day I woke up and realised that when we texted she would only ever reply or want to talk further if things were going badly for me.
If things were good in my life she would ignore me.
I got dumped and she wanted to know everything, I was excited about starting (and continuing to do well at) my own business and she couldn’t care less.
Frenemies definitely exist!

I had a friend like this. Friends for a decade, all through school, university and beyond. She always did better then me (more money from the start, wealthier family, nicer area to grow up in, better car, better in exams, better jobs). Then I got into a prestigious university for a masters degree, I emigrated to the UK, found a guy I loved, a job I loved, bought a house, got married, got pregnant. She seemed ..... furious. Was very odd. We havent spoken in about 4 years. Never fell out or anything. I just wasnt bothered anymore, and clearly neither was she. Its too much like teenage rubbish for my liking. I never thought if it like a 'frenemy'. Its just some people really, isnt it.

Same with her.
She loved when things went wrong.
She's so fake
I don't know how people can't see through her.
She had it massively in for me.
She must have truly hated me
I don't know why she continued the friendship for so long when she had so much hatred.

How did you find out what she was really like?

When people kept avoiding me.
I asked why and they told me what she had been saying about me.

What had she been saying? They cant have been real friends though if they just believed her and avoided you. True friends - or even people just with moral fibre- would ask you about what she said first

Definitely a thing. Person in a school making me so welcome. Definitely went out of way to have me in her friendship group/clique. When I realized she led a clique which tried to pull others down, I withdrew from the clique. Guess what ... I was next target. Especially when I gained good promotions and turned out [if I say it myself] good at what I was doing. Then the daggers were really out. Joined up with one other who was ambitious and jealous of my success. Definitely undermined me and I had none of the subtle skills they had because I had never encountered this before [always had good supportive relationships with staff] and had never myself ever wished to do anybody down. Spoilt the last few years of my job for me. Hey Ho. People like that have to live with themselves and I have moved on.

When I was teaching abroad, I became close to a colleague. We did lots of things together outside of school. She was probably my closest friend at the time. When she left, my headmistress told me she would talk about me behind my back and came to her office many times to try to make trouble for me. She reckoned she was jealous of me. I was gutted and it took me a long time to trust anyone new after that.

She said I was a compulsive liar.
She said I was harassing her for years,made her life a misery.
Told everyone I had badmouthed her family and threatened to hurt her.
She told people I was a stalker and a psycho.

Well it's interesting op because if you spoke to my ex, he'd say the same about me. He also wrote to social services, my ex husband and my partner about me. It was all embellishments, lies and half truths but I know that he was very convincing.

One person's truth is another person's fiction and your post seems to need validation without context, so I'm a bit wary tbh.

I know my truth. And my truth was borne out legally. What's the context here?

@CandyLeBonBon thankfully for me also her lies to the police were proven to be malicious also.
It doesn't stop me wondering why she hated me as much as she did tho.
I don't think il ever know.

So what's the context?

I had one. Best friends at school. She cried when I got better exam results than her then said nasty things about my uni / degree for 3 yrs. Fair enough she’s a bit envious I thought, never mind.

A couple of years later she was trying to persuade me to break up with my boyfriend (now husband).

A year after that she out of the blue emailed my boss at work to criticise my professional abilities. (She worked at a different company that was briefly a client of my boss).

I ditched her then, wish I’d just done it at age 15.

I've had this experience. One hurt me a lot. I haven't spoken to her for a year, when she gave me the choice of upholding her blatant lies or losing her "friendship" it wasn't a hard choice to make. But she puts up a front of being lovely to people, so others believe her.

I find it hard to trust people, and I don't think I ever will again. I've barely got any friends, I find most people dislike me, and I'm too old and busy to care.

@CandyLeBonBon sorry for being so vague
I had posted before and got lots of helpful answers so didn't want to annoy people with the same story.
Basically I had got friends with her friends and she didn't like it.
That's when she started telling people I was a psycho /abusive etc
The worst was when she rang the police and said I was stealing from my mum (who I had power of attorney for and provided bank statements /receipts etc )
They said they were satisfied it was malicious and no further action.
My mum died 5-6 weeks ago now and she continued with her lies to people about me.
It ended with these friends taking her side as they've known her longer and me only 6-7 months.
She told them I was slagging her family off,I owed her money (she owed me money and I had proof by texts ) she told them I forged the texts.
It was just exhausting.
I was a good friend to her and I just don't understand why she did everything.
She knew how upset I was that my mum was dying yet she was trying to ruin my life/took friends away when I needed them.

I knew it was you again!

This is disturbing you to the point of obsession. For the sake of your mental health please please find a way to move on from it.

Sometimes something happens and you never understand it. Sometimes an unfairness stays an unfairness and you just have to accept it.

You aren't going to get the outcome you want and you need to come to terms with it or it will eat you alive!

I think about it all the time and it really does upset me.
I just can't get rid of the why? Questions
I try and distract mself but I'm really struggling.
I feel like I've lost a really good friend over lies.
I reacted badly when I found out what they done and I'm thinking maybe I was too harsh what I said.
I know I need to put it to bed,I just don't know how.