to wonder how people are naturally kind?

[jennieblack0412]

and how i can be one of those people? of course i'm not aggressive, violent, a bitch etc. but i have to constantly remind myself to be nice to people, to help someone out etc. it just doesn't click naturally in my head that i should be doing it, i have to make an effort to do it. can i train myself to do it?! genuinely curious.

I’m not naturally kind either op. I’m a very closed off person and always wary of others, I have to fight that instinct. I’m very introverted which doesn’t help, I don’t like putting myself out there and offers of help can feel like that sometimes.

Last year a friend of mine went through something awful and I realised that in my past I have tended to not be supportive of friends in that situation. As a pp alluded to, it’s all outside of my experience as nothing truly bad has really happened to me. My instinct has been to back off, give them space, allow their closer friends and family to support them. I’m really ashamed of this now. I had to really force myself to reach out to her and keep reaching out. So hopefully she thinks of me as behaving kindly but I feel as though I’m not a kind person.

The kindest people I know get taken advantage of time and time again. Or they have real trouble saying no, so end up helping out CFs all the time.

I dont think people are very 'kind' when they get behind the wheel of their car either