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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Report or confront??

34 replies

Tagalongsally · 13/10/2020 16:04

Boyfriend dad has tested positive for COVID over the weeken.md. He’s quite poorly and been in bed most weekend. My boyfriends brother wife and children also reside with his dad.
My boyfriend popped in over the weekend. I was livid. I told him he must not go there but he shrugged it off saying he didn’t stay long. He also said that his brother the kids and wife are going to work. I really can’t believe this. I’ve told him they should self isolate but he again shrugged it off.
I want to have a chat with them but I’m not that close. This really isnt on but not sure what to do. I also will not be seeing n my boyfriend or have him at my home if he wants to put himself at risk. How ridiculous is he.

OP posts:
Namechangedforthisoct2 · 13/10/2020 16:05

I’d mind my own business! Decide if you want to see your boyfriend or not and Lee out of his families business.

jessstan1 · 13/10/2020 16:07

I don't know to whom you would report them; personally, I wouldn't. It is irresponsible of any of them to go to work and for your boyfriend to visit them. Just make sure he doesn't come near you for a while, it isn't worth taking the risk.

Frappuccinofan · 13/10/2020 16:10

I reckon more people may end up doing this if they don’t have symptoms and risk a financial loss. I feel sorry for the people they work with.

The NHS website does say households must self isolate if someone has tested positive.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/self-isolation-and-treatment/when-to-self-isolate-and-what-to-do/

Who would you report this to? Perhaps sending the above link to your bf would lead to a faster result.

lljkk · 13/10/2020 16:10

Did your boyf visit after he found out the dad had symptoms?
Is it legal for people in your area to visit each other indoors?
Did they violate rule of 6?

Do you dislike your boyfriend & family & want to hurt them?

DaisyChainsForever · 13/10/2020 16:10

Do your boyfriend and his family not understand how the virus is spreading? Hmm Totally agree with you for telling him u don't want to see him.

Frappuccinofan · 13/10/2020 16:12

Do you dislike your boyfriend & family & want to hurt them?

Why are you being manipulative and trying to twist this on OP? The NHS guidance clearly states that they should self isolate. She isn’t the wrong.

liveitwell · 13/10/2020 16:12

Yes you can report anyone who isn't isolating who should be to the non-emergency police line. They are all endangering others, many of who may be vulnerable or have vulnerable contacts. It's very selfish and you should report.

Original poster
Tagalongsally · 13/10/2020 16:13

I don’t dislike them but I just don’t understand why they are not taking it seriously.
I think I will stay away from my boyfriend for a bit and leave them to it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tagalongsally · 13/10/2020 16:14

I would probably feel guilty if I report them but I think I will send my boyfriend the link. It’s very selfish to spread this around

OP posts:
ArranBound · 13/10/2020 16:20

Irresponsible behaviour like this is helping the virus spread so I'd be livid, too. However, many people just can't afford to stay off work. What an awful decision to face. I do fear that things are going to get much worse in the coming weeks.

I read something about a self isolation grant from the government. Maybe your partner's family could look into this?

TibetanTerrier · 13/10/2020 16:32

They are risking other people's lives. I would definitely report them.

butterpuffed · 13/10/2020 16:43

@lljkk

Did your boyf visit after he found out the dad had symptoms? Is it legal for people in your area to visit each other indoors? Did they violate rule of 6?

Do you dislike your boyfriend & family & want to hurt them?

Odd post. The rule of six obviously doesn't apply if any one of those six has covid.
AcrossthePond55 · 13/10/2020 16:43

Definitely don't confront! Their decisions aren't your personal business. But you can certainly be pro-active as far as your BF going over there and you've made the correct (IMO) decision to keep away from him.

As far as reporting them, I probably would and let the 'officials' take it from there. At least I'd know I the right thing for the public good.

I wouldn't send him the link because if you do end up reporting them (because he most likely won't) then he'll know exactly who did!

KitchenConfidential · 13/10/2020 16:44

The entire household should be isolating and your boyfriend should categorically not be visiting.
What do they not understand about this pandemic? People’s lives are being risked here.
I wouldn’t think twice about reporting them and I couldn’t be with a boyfriend who is also adding to the problem (and putting you at risk OP).

artisticpiles · 13/10/2020 17:01

I agree with @KitchenConfidential

hippohector · 13/10/2020 17:41

And this is partly why we are in this current mess - because people are selfish and do not follow the rules that are there to try to limit transmission.
I would report without a moments hesitation.
People have died and are still dying FFS.

lljkk · 13/10/2020 18:16

if legal to visit in other households where OP lives, boyf did no wrong.

If the boyfriend turned up not knowing anyone had symptoms -- boyfriend did no wrong by turning up.

If the persons present including boyf

Kisskiss · 13/10/2020 18:20

[quote lljkk]if legal to visit in other households where OP lives, boyf did no wrong.

If the boyfriend turned up not knowing anyone had symptoms -- boyfriend did no wrong by turning up.

If the persons present including boyf

FiveFootTwoEyesOfBlue · 13/10/2020 18:23

143
That's the number of Covid deaths reported today.
That family are endangering the lives of their co-workers. Extremely selfish.
That said, I don't think I would report. If someone who's tested positive is themselves not isolating then the police are more likely to be interested, I think, rather than just their contacts. Have the family members got tested? They should have.

Thatwentbadly · 13/10/2020 18:28

I would be considered if I still wanted him to be my boyfriend

Torvean32 · 13/10/2020 18:29

Your boyfriend and his family are the idiots that keep corona circulating. I wouldn't breed with someone of that genetic make up.

SBTLove · 13/10/2020 18:34

@lljkk
Seriously just stop spouting utter shite.
So give them a hug and send them on their merry way to infect and possibly kill innocent people?
creating that experience ffs
they could give someone the experience of being on a ventilator but that’s ok as long as they’re pwecious feelings don’t get hurt, I’ve read it all now 😡

ReneeRol · 13/10/2020 18:54

I'd report them. They could pass this on to dozens of people and it's very dangerous to vulnerable people. The families of everybody they work with, everybody they come into contact with are at risk. The world hasn't shut down our countries for no reason.

Crystalknobs · 13/10/2020 19:01

I’d report them and definitely stay away from your boyfriend.
It’s irresponsible behaviour like this that’s spreading the bloody virus.

Chloemol · 13/10/2020 19:04

And people wonder why it’s spreading, sorry it needs reporting, to the school and to their work if you know where

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