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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

School deferral

4 replies

Fortheloveoficecream · 13/10/2020 09:58

For context we live in Scotland where the school cut off is the end of February so the youngest children will start school in the August at 4.5 years old. Children are allowed to be deferred if they aren't 5 by the time school starts and generally they receive an extra year at nursery. It will apparently become law next year that all children who are not 5 when the school year starts will get an extra years nursery funding and it seems that a lot of parents are taking advantage of this to give their kids an advantage in school.

I've just been on the phone to my friend who is seriously considering trying to remove her little girl from primary 1 after the October holidays in the hope that she can start again next year. The reason for this is that she is a start of February birthday so should be one of the youngest anyway but there are no other January or February birthdays in her class at all as they have all been deferred and only one little boy who's birthday is December. My friend is stressed because she can see how much smaller and younger her daughter is compared to some of the other children in her class, some of whom are now 6 (2 Children with September birthdays who were deferred a year) and her daughter isn't even 5 until February!

She was speaking to one of the other mum's who's daughter is one of the 6 year old's who was telling her how suprised she was that my friend had put her daughter to school and what an advantage she thought her own daughter had by being the very oldest in the year instead of middle of the school year if she had gone last year. My friends daughter went to a private nursery before school and she did well there so she just applied for school when she thought she was supposed to.

My friends daughter is settled at school and seems to enjoy it but is obviously younger and smaller than most of the children but AIBU that she is now considerably disadvantaged compared to other children in her class even though she is in the year she is supposed to be in?

OP posts:
SabrinaThwaite · 13/10/2020 10:51

From experience (I had a small late Feb born that we didn’t defer on pre-school teachers’ advice) the issue isn’t so much at primary school but at high school, as she will be taking her Nat 5s not long after she turns 15, and there will be a point when her cohort are able to do things that are age based (such as learning to drive) when she can’t.

If she is settled and doing well at school, then I don’t think she will be massively disadvantaged - presumably the nursery staff raised no concerns?

For balance, I also had an early March born, who went to school at age 5 and a half and spent the first couple of years being bored because they’d done it all before.

It’s all so dependent on the child and how she matures.

Suzi888 · 13/10/2020 10:56

Don’t defer, I considered it as mine was so young but they won’t learn anything new and will end up bored. Mine came on immensely over covid at home with me, she is now doing well in school and they make allowances for the younger ones in any case. Deferring will effect her throughout her schooling years.

SabrinaThwaite · 13/10/2020 11:03

And to add, my Feb born thrived at primary, the physical size disparities soon even out as they all grow at different rates, and I had no concerns about him moving into S1.

babygroups · 13/10/2020 11:18

I'd always defer a Jan or Feb born and consider it for Nov or Dec depending on maturity.
Every primary school teacher I know who had a jan/Feb born child deferred them.
Your friend may not be able to remove the child from school to start over again though, the council may not agree now she's actually attending.

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