I posted a while ago about my (not so D)H wanting to ignore calls from our DCs nursery and me objecting to that.
Since then he’s been insisting I do some jobs because he’s too busy with work (even though I work full time too). Nothing that is a massive deal in itself, but I think we should have a chat about who has what on, what can be moved etc and juggle things together, not have one person able to dictate to the other. Anyway, I raised this and he said it was my fault, walked about and didn’t speak to me other than essential DC things for nearly 3 weeks.
In an attempt to resolve things I wrote a letter saying that I feel when he was stressed with work he tended to put himself first, and when I raised it he always just blamed me, but I needed him to address his behaviour. I apologised for my part in things because sometimes I get so frustrated and lose my temper. He continued to ignore me for 3 days.
I have finally got him to speak to me and he says he doesn’t have anything to apologise for. And I need to stop with my ‘fetish’ for getting people to apologise. That he doesn’t want to set an example to DC that its ok for me to bully him. That I’m abusive because I have shouted at him and said some mean things. Basically that it is all my fault.
I have made an appointment to see a solicitor because I know we can’t go on like this. I just feel so sad and confused. All I want is for him to come to me, give me a hug and say that he hasn’t been treating me right because he’s been stressed with work but he’ll try and be better. And I’ll try and be better too. And we would work it out together. That seems reasonable.
But I don’t understand why he won’t do that. Is it really all my fault? I feel like I try so hard to keep him happy. I’m not perfect and I make mistakes and I have lost my temper but I get so frustrated with not being listened too (but is that just me making excuses?)
I feel like my whole world is falling apart and I can’t see the wood for the trees. I don’t think its all me, but is it?
I know this situation is wrong and I need to be strong. I just feel like I’m cracking up.
AIBU? I just need some moral support.