Hot food / after school snacks

[narcdad45]

My 2 primary aged children are looked after for one hour per day by my lovely friend and I pay her for this, her child is the same age as one of mine and they come back to my house for an hour until I'm home. Kids are 5 & 8

My issue is when I come home from work, all (including friend) are eating either pizza, nuggets & chips, sausage & chips, some form of frozen ready prep food (from my freezer as we do eat this sometimes so it's in my freezer).

I know it's nice kids are fed but I've still got to cook for dh and me plus I'd rather kids ate dinner with us and have something healthier.

Friends child must eat hot food, such as pizza etc as soon as home from school.
Won't eat for example slice of toast, a crumpet, fruit, yogurt, pitta & hummus etc to tide them over until dinner. It's always junky type stuff that needs to be oven cooked.
How do I say again to my friend without causing offence as I've mentioned it a few times now!

AIBU to think a snack is fine for an hour?

Wow, YANBU. I would get a childminder, she is overstepping the bounds her.

Did she just start helping herself to food from your freezer?

She's costing you twice, once for child care, and again to feed her and her kid.

Don’t “mention it” or hint, just ask her outright not to prepare a full meal for the DC as you have to cook anyway and so prefer all of you to eat together later. She probably thinks she’s being helpful by saving you the job of cooking and supervising an evening meal.

Say “FFS, friend, I wasn’t joking the other day. Can you please stop cooking food for the kids before it’s their tea time. Here’s what they can eat, not sausages and pizzas and stuff - that’s for tea.”

I think you'll have to just come out and tell her that you don't want her to do that.

Otherwise, you could stop stocking those types of food in your freezer for a while, or hide them somehow (in a box of healthy frozen veg?).

But seriously, you'll have to ask her not to do that. If her child "can't" make do with a snack, you may not be able to continue this arrangement.

@Howlooseisyourgoose at first she'd have kids until much later (6pm) so did give them dinner but I had the same junk food issue then despite preparing food (cottage pie, mini roast etc but her child wouldn't eat it)

So I changed my working pattern so it would be less hours childcare and I'd get to make and have dinner with kids, she is a fab friend but I do feel a bit overwhelmed as she's a strong character.

Strong character = rude. Your kids. Your food. Your choice.

Christ that is a bit rude. What time are they eating? If she's only there for an hour my 8 year old would be starving and want second dinners! Could you prepare a cold snack plate for your kids and tell her it's in the fridge for them and they want to start helping you cook more so don't make them dinner?

Why is there an expectation that you feed her and her child? Is there a reason she looks after the kids at your home and not hers and would she charge you if she fed them at her home?

I think you were wrong to have her babysit and it would be less hassle for you to stump up for after school club. If there is a waiting list I would get your kids on it now or look for another arrangement. I wouldn't want my kids eating convenience food five days a week, a night or too is fine but not every day.

Stop buying stuff like that for a while. Tell friend, “I’ve left bread out for toast when you get back”. I wouldn’t lose a working childcare arrangement over this at the moment.

@MinnieJackson eating around 4, I get home at 4.30, school is 5 mins from my house and they have to pass my house so go there, play dates are always 99% at mine too.

I pay her 5% less than what after school club charge.

Send them to the after school club then as you are not saving money.

But despite you paying her less, surely she's costing you more by repeatedly denuding the quick n easy drawer of your freezer? That's not on!

She's probably costing more than that 5% in food!
Surely a "please dont help yourself to food from our freezer while you're here, theres fruit and crumpets for afterschool snacks if the kids are hungry" would do.

But I'd just go with afterschool club instead.

If you really want her to keep doing the childcare, then I would compromise and stock up on some mini ‘snack pizzas’ and say that those are for after school. It’s pizza so her child should eat it happily, but they are only snack sized so they shouldn’t fill your two up too much to have dinner with you later.

But personally I think she is taking the piss massively and I would send your kids to after school club instead.

5%! It’s hardly breaking the bank for an hour, then, is it? Do what annoys you less.