AIBU - son / father

[SiempreDot]

For a few months, my four year old son has come home from his dad's house saying they play a game where they barge into the bathroom when his dad's girlfriend is in the shower and laugh.

This doesn't sit easily with me at all. I don't feel like a four year old boy should be taught to laugh at a woman's body, to invade her personal space in what could be seen as quite a humiliating way, whether she is in on the game or not.

My son's dad and I have a very difficult relationship so I tend to not raise things with him but this I find just a bit too much. But then I don't know if I am just overreacting.

Would others have a similar reaction?

Could you ask her how she feels about it or ask your son how she reacts? Then use it as a teaching moment for the 4 yo

What a twat. That is a totally inappropriate "game" to play at any age. For a four year old it is a terrible example to make.

Thank you. I am glad its not just me

OP he sounds really immature and a really bad example for you son.

Do you have any contact with his GF? Can you find out how she feels about this? I can't imagine any normal human being invading someone's privacy like that, yet alone encourage a 4 yro to do this??

I'd be telling my son it's not a nice 'game' to play and encourage him not to do it when at his dad's (what a dick BTW).

I think you will have to speak to his dad regardless.

Could you say he is doing to you and you find it annoying and frustrating and your son has told you they do it to his GF which you don't think is appropriate.

Hi Hiphop,

Thanks for this. No, his girlfriend doesn't like me either. There would be zero point talking to her.

Saying DS is doing it to me is actually a really helpful suggestion actually. I think I will do it like this.

Thanks :)

Why doesn’t she lock the door? Sounds like she is in on the “game”

In my experience, some women try SO hard to be ‘fun girlfriend’ and have also experienced it where they come along and the boundaries just aren’t there, I think it’s when your ex is so desperate to play happy families as if their girlfriend really was mum. So could be that, but also worth considered, kids sometimes get things wrong, exaggerate or it could be completely innocent it just sounds wrong.. if you really are worried try and ask what this game is calmly and give them the chance to explain first. Just incase your ds got a bit mixed up. I do this even when I whole heartedly believe DD. Mainly to diffuse an argument before it’s happened.