Buying one child a gift

[Scoobygang7]

I can't decide if I am being unreasonable or not, so thought I'd don the hard hat and ask. If you were to buy a gift for a 5 year old when you were on holiday, would you buy the child's younger sibling 2.5 years something too?

Am I being unreasonable to think that you should get something for each. I wouldn't expect to buy something for both on birthdays. I just think a random gift from a trip is different.

We've had our DS being given a packet of biscuits when his cousins had presents costing £20/30 each from the PIL returning from holiday!!

He knows he gets rubbish presents from GP compared to his cousins, and luckily thinks it's hilarious - me not so much 😡

I disagree with this completely. I bought my friends son a dinosaur puzzle. I didn't buy a present for her dd. If I see something suitable, I will.

@mumfordofsons that's awful I would definitely be with you. Poor lad

My mum had to make a stand with her mum many years ago.
I was the first granddaughter and adored by my DGM. When she turned up to stay onetime she came with a heap of gifts for me but nothing for my little brother. My mum refused the gifts for me. DGM huffed a bit, but was much more even handed after that.

or get one gift/game/toy for them to share.

@Scoobygang7 what made it even more outrageous was that the presents were dished out in front of everyone - MIL didn't flinch, DS gave me a wry smile (I do love him for how he handles this), but my SIL looked so embarrassed.

I wouldnt dream of just getting the child I took out a gift, knowing full well the other one would see them come back with it. That would be awful! Would only need to spend a few pounds, they dont care how much it costs at that age

Thank you everyone I just needed outside views that I am not wrong for feeling sad for my youngest.

Yes! You can’t buy one and not the other, my youngest would be heartbroken if his older brother got a gift and not him, it doesn’t matter about the price as long as he receives something too!

My IL have bought our son gifts and not his sister more than once, usually something random from holiday or a car/boat/train they saw somewhere. They are from a different culture and value boys more. We make them share but it’s obvious it was just for DS. Luckily SIL has had a baby boy and now we never see them so it’s not an issue.

Personally I find it odd given these are their grandchildren/nephew nieces. Firstly I would never take one out on their own unless for a shopping trip for birthday which as you say is different but even then i would still bring the little ones a colouring book back or something. i would probably have to say something to them as there seems a lot of favouritism here. I feel for your little one.

I think it’s ok to take one child out and buy them a toy and not bring one back for the other child but there should be opportunities for the other child to be taken out also and get a you.

The holiday thing is mean when only bringing back a toy for one child. In this situation it’s toys for both or none at all.

What about the middle child? You say that the eldest has a present - the youngest, not. What about the one in between?

I only have 2 children. I used eldest and youngest as they are eldest and youngest

At best it's thoughtless, at worst it's mean.

At two and a half your youngest is at an age were this will start to be noticed and mean something to them. Also at what age will they stop this? My grandchildren are primary school aged and I wouldn't have dreamt of doing this.

Yes, random gift is equal. Birthdays I do gifts just for the person whose birthday it is.

Of course I'd buy for both. It wouldn't occur to me to only treat one child of a sibling group.

Thank you all I feel better knowing that I am not alone in my thoughts. I shall bring it up should it happen again