To ask what you wish you'd done more of with little kids

[Wildery]

My second (and final) baby suddenly feels like a toddler and I'm determined to make the most of these days. I've already got loads of regrets about not taking enough photos/videos of her as a baby, and a lot of other stuff. So I'm determined not to have future regrets. But I'm also a bit unimaginative. Can I ask what you wish you'd done more of when your DC were 2 or 3 years old so I can steal your ideas?

I mainly took my toddlers out for lots of days out, usually places I had a membership card, and outside as much as possible. I regret not playing with them more at home but I always had things to do there, whereas outside I could focus my attention on them more.

I have a 3.5 year old. This spring/summer was supposed to be the year we did all the things, those things where you can go anywhere, do anything, days out, holidays, exploring, where they get excited and fascinated about the little mundane things. I feel bloody robbed of that this year, now I have to try and squeeze as much in as possible next year before he starts school.

It's such a lush age, I love it (so far). But yes, days out pretty much anywhere, beach walks, train rides, heritage days out, hiking, bike rides, zoos, little local walks, farm parks, little weekends away, camping, exploring. Some of my DS faves are just local places where they can just run free.

I would add, he's now at an age where car rides over 30 mins are boring for him, so I do have to take that into consideration. Usually I'd happily travel anywhere within a 2-3 hour radius

Play with them, snuggle with them and generally be a bit less shouty and controlling. Get them to do stuff for themselves as early as possible but in a fun way.

My DC are adult now and I wish I could have another go. Don't get me wrong, they are lovely and doing well but could do with more confidence in themselves.

I wish I would have taken them swimming to the park and things more. We had lots of fancy dinners and nice holidays. But they absolutely love the park and would happily stay their all day so I wish I did that more but I'm making up for it now.

Haha, I came on to say that I wish I had taken more photos and videos, but I see you have already covered that in your OP.

I also wish I'd kept a diary of funny things she said/did. She'd have loved it at the age she is now.

I don't really have any other regrets about her early years, though. In many ways, she had a really idyllic childhood, and I'm very grateful for that. There isn't really anything that I would change if I could go back and do it again.

Your feelings of regret or nostalgia are not actually caused by not taking 10 photos a day of your baby.

It's just a common feeling, the passing of time and the realisation that one chapter of your life (parenting a small baby) is over.

Don't put so much pressure on yourself to do a million things now to try and stave off future regret or nostalgia.

You'll probably still feel that sense of regret/nostalgia regardless of what you do. It's just a thing that happens.

So enjoy the moment, don't worry about what you might feel in the future.

You don't have to create some idyllic toddler hood where they were constantly entertained - it's impossible to start off with. And mooching around, banging some pots and pans in the kitchen, watching a bit of cbeebies are all entirely valid activities alongside national trust days out, forest school, crafting or anything else more elaborate you do.

They don't remember any of it anyway.

None of mine can remember any of the things I did! So don't lose any sleep over it.

Honestly I wish I'd relaxed and not worried about anything - kids that age just love their parents so much - you are like a beacon of love to them, all they want is your attention - (but they don't actually need it all day long!) - they want giggles and cuddles and trips to look at the ducks. THey don't remember anything anyway so just let them be happy in the moment.

I also wouldn't waste any time feeling guilty. You will be a parent for a long time - and now mine are 8 and 6 the time spent with them will have a much longer lasting impression. I found the toddler time exhausting and don't miss it at all.

My own thing rather than beating myself up about not gaining the approval of HVs, nursery staff, other parents, etc. I'm the best parent I can be when I'm chilled, I'm chilled when I parent mostly by instinct. I wish I'd stood up to other people a lot more. Mind you by the time I had my third in my thirties I was fine with going with our flow and doing the nod-smile-ignore thing when others wanted to advise, criticise or dictate and I'm glad of that :)

Nothing. In fact looking back now I regret doing so much. Tumble tots, rhythm time etc, endlessly getting children dressed, fed, toileted and then driven to various bullshit classes that I loathed and they gained nothing from.
Wish I’d just gone to the park or used my zoo membership more.

Thanks for these, getting outside seems to be the key. I'm also going to do a diary, or just little notes.

It's all for me, it's not about giving her some kind of idyllic childhood - she'd be happy watching CBeebies all day (which we also do). I just want to feel I've wrung every drop out of this time, for myself. Although @MojoMoon I take your point about inevitable future nostalgia/regret.

Messy play, mud kitchen and jumping in puddles type-play.
I remember spending walks in the woods and park running around after my DC with the wet wipes and not really allowing them to get stuck in and dirty. I think it was the way I was raised.
I'd love to get those days back.

With my older two I was a young single mum. At the time I was so upset I couldn’t afford nice days out/expensive toys. Looking back I wish I had enjoyed just playing, talking to them and not worried about them having things and experiences.

I wish I had more videos of DS1 talking but it hughlights how little and how badly he did talk. I adore the ones of DS2.

Im very happy I took my mums advice - when you're about to say no to a toddler is it because they shouldn't do it (dangerous etc) or just cos you don't want the effort of cleaning up etc. It meant I relaxed about them getting drenched and covered in mud on a very frequent basis.

Be silly. You spend so much of the time be mummy, it's nice for you and them when you can just act like an eejit. Let them push you over onto the bed, pretend there are crocodiles coming out of the river to eat you, skip through town holding hands. be a child again, you'll both love it.

Play, hang out and just ‘be’ with them. I am/was always rubbish at that - I much preferred going on outings and meeting up with friends with kids. Being on my own at home with them always made me antsy. So I wish I’d just relaxed into it a bit more!

Oh yes - and make a note when they say something funny or silly or sweet. I post them on FB which means they now pop up as lovely reminders every year

I wish I had done less toddler groups and activity s. More parks, playing at home with no rushing out for activitus. My kids don't remember the endless activitys but do have fond memories of buildng blanket dens, playing in puddles etc.

I don't wish I had done anything more- we did a lot with our little ones.
Money was tight because I was a SAHM but that didn't stop us getting out. Sundays was always an outing with OH, me and the kids, usually somewhere free, a park, botanical gardens, a trip to the seaside, we would take a packed lunch and have a day out for very little cost.
I would meet with other Mums I knew with kids the same age, we would go walks and explore the local area.
My kids loved cooking and baking from an early age, so we did loads of that - now in their 20s, both exceptional cooks.

We also cultivated a vegetable garden, my children loved planting and growing things they could eat.
We also did a lot of arts and crafts, making decorations for East or Halloween or christmas, collecting things from the woods and making collages.
Most days we would have some activity, even if only children helping prepare the evening meal.

Don't get stuck taking too many photos and videos and not enjoying the moment itself either. Do whatever you enjoy and gets you through the day.