To request a demotion?

[TheValeyard]

I have been with the same organisation for almost 20 years, having started as a graduate and worked my way up through a number of roles. Two years ago, my immediate manager developed a serious health condition and had to take a leave of absence, and our director asked me to assume his duties (I took these duties on informally for almost 18 months without acting up pay, but this was eventually formalised and I did get back pay). It became apparent that our manager was not going to return, so I appear to be in this role indefinitely.

It has also become apparent to me that I am not cut out for this kind of management role. I am naturally quite reserved so get anxious even arranging team meetings, I find it difficult to delegate, and can be quite indecisive. Because everything is on a temporary basis, my previous role has not been filled, so I still have my old duties, too.

The combination of management responsibilities and the impacts on our service from the pandemic have had a really negative impact on my mental health - I haven't slept properly for weeks, I have no energy and hardly ever exercise, and there are times when I have verged on suicidal. I have two young children and feel I am not doing my best for them, or anyone else for that matter. I would love to be able to think about something other than how miserable I am.

I have been giving this some thought, and there is a vacant post within our service which is on the level I previously left - it is completely in line with my skills and interests, and I feel I would do a much better job for the organisation there. It is much lower pay, however.

AIBU to discuss with management a request to be demoted into this lower role?

No you are not BU at all. Prioritise your mental health over money. I changed roles from working shift work to 9-5, the pay cut was pretty hideous at first but my mental health improved massively and I realised how little I cared at the money as I felt like me again.

Yes to prioritising your mental health as the PP said. However, it sounds like your main concern is "not being cut out for" the role, rather than not wanting to do what it involves. I therefore wonder if a demotion might be a bit hasty and doing yourself a disservice - is there any chance of getting some management training?

You are doing two jobs for the price of one. You cannot be expected to perform well in your new role when you are carrying your old role too.
First get the old duties reallocated and ask for training for your new role. Then see how you feel.

I've done management training and CPD, but still find it really difficult to put anything I learn into practice. My head feels so foggy right now that it is difficult to think clearly and honestly. I've been prescribed a couple of different antidepressants, but both knocked me sideways in the first few days and I just couldn't stick with them.

I like doing project work - it's what I am good at and where my skills are at, but organising others just seems to be beyond me. I feel like a terrible failure, but I think if I could get into a role where I felt productive it would do me some good. I haven't spoken to DP about it and the change this would mean with the loss of earnings.

Apply for it and if they are shocked then at least they will back fill the role under you

I have found this is a common practice in many of the organisations I work in- the assumption that someone who has been in role for a long time is automatically promoted to managerial level. It does a disservice to the requirements of the role (being a manager requires a very specific skillset) as well as to the staff member.

Absolutely speak to them, and insist on reassigning it- you AND the company will benefit.

It's not surprising that doing two jobs is stressful. People cannot stretch themselves infinitely . You need to have a discussion with the management. Perhaps you can suggest you do a a combination of the two roles, and they need to recruit for the missing person?

Point out that they will have many experienced candidates to choose from as, sadly, many people have lost their jobs.

I think it's fine to seek work at a lower level, but you'd probably struggle to get back up to the higher level again in future

Because everything is on a temporary basis, my previous role has not been filled, so I still have my old duties, too Are you sure this isn't the real problem?

Because everything is on a temporary basis, my previous role has not been filled, so I still have my old duties, too Are you sure this isn't the real problem?

It is certainly part of it - I moved from projects, to team leader, to manager, and am basically doing all of those roles right now as none of the posts I left have been backfilled. Ultimately, though, I think it comes down to moving to a job which I was good at and got a lot out of, to one I am not good at and don't like.

But you haven't had a proper chance to see if you can do the higher level job.