I dont want him to go.

[OhSoScared]

I've name changed as I'm embarrassed about how I'm feeling.

My DS3 should have started nursery in September but I've decided not to send him. Covid has ruined my life and caused me to suffer from extreme anxiety around his health. The thing is, I feel like he really needs to go to nursery for his own good. He loves other children and always has. He is very on the go and would absolutely thrive. I'm just so scared that he will catch Corona virus and I'll lose him or he will bring it home and it will kill me or his dad. I cant get these thoughts out of my head. I've completely sheltered him from the world since March and by the time I let him back out to socialise, he will be seriously Ill constantly due to being tucked away for the best part of a year and his immune system being weak. How can get these thoughts from my head and get my boy learning and socialising 😫

Covid is no risk to children or any healthy adult young enough to have kids that age.

We have restrictions in place to protect those that it can be lethal to - the elderly, the immunosupressed, the morbidly obese who have diabetes or high blood pressure.

You are putting your irrational anxieties before your child's wellbeing and if you don't stop it, you will be putting him at risk of harm from the lack of socialisation and more so, passing your fears onto him.

You have to raise your child with the skills and resilience to go out and build a happy life in the world. If you lock him up with your fears, he will be crippled with anxiety and have mental health issues for life.

You really do need to let him go to nursery...it would be so unfair for him to miss out due to your anxiety. I mean that in the kindest way...I also have anxiety. Statistically, do you actually know the stats around covid deaths...it overwhelmingly affects very elderly people? Without sounding like a conspiracy theorist (I'm not). I believe that in order to get people to comply, they've had to instill some fear in us.

You do need help I think for health anxiety because you do need to let him go you cannot keep him with you forever - that isnt letting him grow

Do not let your affliction of health anxiety stop your little boy from having an important experience. Don’t do it.

You can both learn a great deal from this.

I’m not being callous, I have it too, it’s awful and is impossible to rationalise anything, but don’t stop him from doing this.

It's the fear...the ups and downs since March. First telling us it was extremely dangerous, talking about young children/teens who've passed away all over the news(even though it was a tiny number of teens/children), neighbours grassing on each other for breaking the lockdown law, being isolated from friends and family, wearing masks, hand sanitizing constantly, not letting children in shops etc...its all stayed with me in my head and I cant seem to get past it.

Summer- government telling us it's safe to go to pubs, eat in restaurants, send children back to school and then now they're trying to scare us into staying at home again and my brain just cant cope with it all.

Sometimes I have a word with myself and see sense even if it's only for a minute, and then I'll see a news story about cases rising, schools shutting etc and its puts me right on edge again.

I must add that although I've always been scared of him getting Ill before covid(even with the common cold), I've never stopped him doing things but this shit show has really really fucked me up tbh.

My child was (is) on the shielding list as she has a disability. She has none of the comorbiditiesof the disability that actually cause her to be at risk so with the approval of her consultant she started nursery last week.

I am having therapy for health anxiety and emetophobia. I've had to battle internally to get to this point, but I know my DC needs to be in nursery.

Have you had or can you seek any help for your anxiety @OhSoScared?

@Crunchymum

I've never thought to seek help as it only usually has an impact on me, that is...until covid appeared!

I could try as a starting point. I'm hoping to get him started by January so he has some time settling into being away from me before he starts school in September. Luckily for me, he has never been clingy and still isn't. I think I've been quite lucky there! Although, I know if I let this carry on for much longer he may well become clingy and extremely anxious.