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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To share the stupidest thing I have ever heard

793 replies

Sparklfairy · 10/10/2020 13:44

My friend is away in a country that a few days into her holiday brought in quarantine restrictions upon returning to the UK. No big deal to her, she can wfh and organise deliveries etc.

She just told me she was chatting around the pool and people are confused about when quarantine actually 'starts'. Most have convinced themselves it's the day after you land 'to give them time to go shopping and get food and everything ready and stuff'.

So you're quarantined, but you have a magical window of time where you can get supplies and merrily skip round the supermarket infecting everyone saying 'Oh, I'm not in quarantine until tomorrow'.

I'm not sure if they're spectacularly thick or just so entitled they've twisted the rules to suit themselves. I don't normally get annoyed about CV or what other people do but really!?

OP posts:
kennycat · 12/10/2020 18:36

When we were house hunting I asked the agent, before my brain kicked in, whether the BUNGALOW he was talking about had a downstairs loo.
I still chuckle about that one. I am usually fairly bright. Not on that occasion.

PigletJohn · 12/10/2020 18:44

There are more people than you would think who can't read and write much. They tend to be ashamed and say "I've forgotten my glasses."

Sometimes it's dyslexia, but not always, and there are adult classes.

I was quite taken aback when I first met one, quite young.

Ringsender2 · 12/10/2020 20:19

@TheSandman

Has nobody heard of "Brideshead Revisited"?

Is it a sequel?

GrinSmile
Desnol · 12/10/2020 20:26

Hi @Sparklfairy, the right thing to do and the law are not the same thing. You don't say which country your friend is holidaying in, but it's worth noting that the law is different in every country, and in each country it changes from time to time, because the circumstances in different countries at different time are obviously different. It's perfectly possible that in countries with low transmission rates and incidence of COVID-19, they might well have a rule that allows one days grace for new arrivals to get organised. So your friend's overheard conversation could well be correct for that country.

However, I completely understand where you're coming from - it's been drummed into us by the TV and press, that self-isolation is strict. They tell us that if you are self isolating (either because you have the symptoms/positive test result, or because someone in your household has the symptoms or a positive test result), then - if you break it by going out - you become enemy number one, because you're increasing the risk to other people.

Those of us who are conscientious and considerate towards others, will not break self-isolation, and will get pretty annoyed with those who are not going by these rules.

The problem is, the media haven't told us the whole story - they have this urge to simplify things, probable because they think we're too thick to understand the full set of rules. But by simplifying, they lose important detail. It is quite true that there are exceptions to the rules, but they don't tell us about the exceptions on TV, and that could be rather harmful to the people who are supposed to be self-isolating, and to those who aren't:- it raises our anxiety levels and causes a lot of stress and conflict, if we see someone who's seemingly breaking the rules. I do wish that the media didn't simplify too much, because we won't be judged by the rules that the media tell us about - we will be judged by what the law actually says.

The relevant law in England is this one:- STATUTORY INSTRUMENTS 2020 No. 1045, PUBLIC HEALTH, ENGLAND:- The Health Protection (Coronavirus, Restrictions) (Self-Isolation) (England) Regulations 2020

And here's the link:-
www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2020/1045/made

I'd advise everyone to read it, because this tells us exactly what rules we must abide by. This law has been effective since 28th September, and it tells us that the person P must self isolate for the prescribed period of time - that period is different for different circumstances, and the start of the period could be reset so that it starts again.

It also tells us the exceptions to the rule - i.e. the circumstances in which we are allowed to leave out home, or our designated place of self-isolation, in Part 1, Paragraph 3, section b. Here's the extract:-

"(b)P may not leave the place specified in sub-paragraph (a) except where necessary—
(i)to seek medical assistance, where this is required urgently or on the advice of a registered medical practitioner, including to access—
(aa)services from dentists, opticians, audiologists, chiropodists, chiropractors, osteopaths and other medical or health practitioners, or
(bb)services relating to mental health,
(ii)to access veterinary services, where this is required urgently or on the advice of a veterinary surgeon,
(iii)to fulfil a legal obligation, including attending court or satisfying bail conditions, or participating in legal proceedings,
(iv)to avoid a risk of harm,
(v)to attend a funeral of a close family member,
(vi)to obtain basic necessities, such as food and medical supplies for those in the same household (including any pets or animals in the household) where it is not possible to obtain these provisions in any other manner,
(vii)to access critical public services, including social services, and services provided to victims (such as victims of crime),
(viii)to move to a different place specified in sub-paragraph (a), where it becomes impracticable to remain at the address at which they are."

Some of these are obvious, for example, if you're self-isolating and your house is on fire, of course you're going to get out, self isolation or not. If you've run out of pet food and can't find anyone to bring you some, then would you let your dog die of starvation? It even more applies to provisions for your household - if you have run out of food to feed the household, and can't get anyone to do the shopping for you, you are not expected to starve yourself and other members of the household, someone will go out and get that fresh food, milk, whatever.

It would be really helpful if neighbours looked after each other, but they might not be able to. I had to self-isolate for 7 days in the early coronavirus days, because I had some symptoms - thankfully it wasn't the dreaded Corona, but we didn't know that at the time. The rest of the household had to self-isolate for 2 weeks, even though they didn't have any symptoms. Luckily I had a well stocked freezer, even frozen milk, so we were able to survive until I was free to go out again. But we ran out of fresh vegetables, meat and yoghurt very quickly, and as time went on, our diet became rather unhealthy, not the sort of diet that helps the immune system.

Another unpleasant surprise was that when I told my friends that we had to self isolate, not one of them offered to get food for us. I don't blame them - several were elderly and at risk, and some had families of their own to take care of, while others lived too far away for it not to be a huge burden. The only help we had was a local pharmacy, who delivered the medication quickly. They were very good. Supermarkets weren't allowing me to order food for delivery, and I felt too embarrassed to call the local council to ask for help:- as one of the members of the household is diabetic, it would have been too complicated to explain what food we needed.

The law allows people to get food when they can't get it any other way, even if they are self-isolating, because potentially sick people need healthy food more than most.

So - if only we all understood the exceptions to the rules, perhaps we'd be more understanding of people who appear to break the rules, but are actually within the law. It might prompt us to be on the lookout for our neighbours, who might need our help at this time.

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 12/10/2020 20:37

@spooktrain

my neighbour died suddenly this year. I signed for his post in the aftermath, including a parking fine. To help out his ex-wife with all the red tape I said I would get in touch with the council and find out what had to be done about this fine. When I phoned explaining the situation the woman asked when he'd died, and what was the date of the fine. Then she said: "So, just to be clear, he got the fine before he died?"
To be fair, it would be possible to get a parking fine after death, so I don't think this is stupid.

Let's say you park somewhere with a time limit of an hour. During your hour you are run over by a vehicle and killed. The fine would be after death.

Or... drive to A&E due to a sudden illness, park near the hospital, get admitted and die, car is still there and gets a fine.

Cars attract parking fines, not people.

ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 12/10/2020 20:46

@PigletJohn

There are more people than you would think who can't read and write much. They tend to be ashamed and say "I've forgotten my glasses."

Sometimes it's dyslexia, but not always, and there are adult classes.

I was quite taken aback when I first met one, quite young.

This is definitely true.

Even among those who can read, the number who never read books or anything more challenging than perhaps a basic tabloid (The Sun has a reading age of 7, I believe?) is higher than you think. This has been the case for a long time, even before the internet.

StanfordPines · 12/10/2020 21:39

as a veggie of over 30 years I've heard some crackers - eg that fish, chicken etc aren't meat that gravy isn't "breaking the rules", that all vegetarians are anaemia etc

Just today I had to argue the toss that fish wasn’t vegetarian, with the school cook.

As for reading. My dad is functionally illiterate. He can read and write if he absolutely has to but he finds it very hard. Since getting a smart phone he texts me, but dictates it. However given his literacy level he can’t really check it before it sends.
He did once say that he liked a certain subtitled drama but to read the subtitles he would pause each time they changed to give himself enough time.

ANoTail · 12/10/2020 21:50

It's true about illiteracy. My mum's from a Traveller community and has had almost no schooling (was not officially taken out of education until she was 11 but rarely attended school at all). She read with us loads when we were very young (the Dick and Jane stuff we got in lower primary) and seemed to genuinely enjoy bedtime stories and stuff, then would stop all of a sudden when we were about 7. It wasn't until I was older that I realised she wasn't actually able to read the books we got after that age. We have a big family, she was able to keep reading the Dick and Jane type books for a long time.

HeronLanyon · 12/10/2020 22:02

I meet a number of clients who can’t read and write (defendants).
I met someone, not charged with and offence, today who can’t read or write - first time someone away from my job has been completely open about it for some time. Young guy married with two young children. Great builder. Can’t believe how we’ve allowed this to be so common and how bloody tough it is.
There are some great charities doing work on adult literacy - volunteered for one for a while. What a mess we rely on charity for this in this country.

bluebluezoo · 12/10/2020 22:10

Best one I ever heard was waiting for an ante- natal scan with a very young girl sat opposite. Must have been about 16 or so.

Bunch of her friends popped in to sit with her while on school lunch break.

Discussion turned to the baby, where it appeared several of them hadn’t thought about how the baby got out- and were horrified to discover it got out the same way it got in 😂😂😂

TheSandman · 12/10/2020 22:14

Anyone else remember the glorious Tomasz Schafernake admitting on tele that he hadn't realised that lambs were baby sheep?grin

Isn't he the weather prat who refers to things like 'the upcoming night-time period' instead of using the plain and simple 'tonight'?

MasksGlovesSoapScrubs · 12/10/2020 22:17

The other night a teenage boy was waking past. About 14 yo I'd say. 'Yeah my girlfriends tits are huge. They're a 36S' Grin

Cassilis · 12/10/2020 22:20

@TheSandman

Anyone else remember the glorious Tomasz Schafernake admitting on tele that he hadn't realised that lambs were baby sheep?grin

Isn't he the weather prat who refers to things like 'the upcoming night-time period' instead of using the plain and simple 'tonight'?

Could it be because he went to school in Poland too?

I came to the UK very young, English was my second language although I'm now more fluent in English than my mother tongue. I did English at university too. I write a lot of legal docs for a living, but I still slip on colloquialisms / idioms sometimes. Those early formative years are a killer.

nildesparandum · 12/10/2020 22:37

When I was doing midwifery training in the 60s I remember a mother of twins and her reaction to both her babies when she closely examined them. She asked me where the marks were from the wires.When I asked her what she meant she replied ''You know, the wires that held them together when they were inside me''

DilysPrice · 12/10/2020 22:51

My late DGM was a married adult woman when she became pregnant but was also horrified to be informed by her doctor that the baby would come out the way it got in. TBF it is quite a horrifying concept, especially if you only find after you’re committed to the situation.

Graphista · 12/10/2020 23:23

Literacy and numeracy and crime are strongly linked I know. There are tons of stats which I can't remember any now of course but I believe the levels of illiteracy and innumeracy among low level criminals is far higher than in the general populace.

This of course means they are less likely to get work, less likely to successfully claim benefits without support (I've had support to claim benefits myself for other reasons but each time its a new advisor the first thing they ask is if I can read so I'm
pretty sure that's a very common issue for them), less likely to be able to access advice/support to get out of the dire straits they're in.

My own local council's literacy and numeracy budget has been cut I believe by 2/3 in the last 5 years, very deprived area with a lot of crime, addiction and domestic abuse.

I must admit there's a family story about one of my great grans on the eve of her wedding being told by her mother what to expect, and she basically went "sod that!" And was adamant she wouldn't be doing any of that nonsense, believing it to be boring and possibly painful...

She had 14 kids!

So we're guessing she decided she actually quite liked it! Wink

My gran - her daughter - struggled to keep a straight face when she was giving her the talk on the eve of her wedding, she was 3 months pregnant at the time just hadn't told her parents Grin

Ineke · 13/10/2020 04:07

If you are told you have to quarantine it is because you may possibly be infectious surely. Not a good time to pop into a shop for essentials. You could place an order on line on the flight back. What is the difference to this to getting on a train from Scotland to London just after having a test as you were having symptoms. If you had a diagnosis of German Measles for example you wouldn't just pop to the shop for essentials as you could pass it on to someone who was pregnant with dire consequences. It makes no sense to me thatbyounwould be allowed to do this. The stupidity of some people never ceases to amaze me, sometimes blanket black and white rules are the only way to manage situations where people like to add an angle on the rules just to suit. them. Most people are sensible but sadly some are idiots and where normally we can laugh, in some situations their ignorance is not bliss.

81Byerley · 13/10/2020 05:01

My Grandmother had 16 children. She thought the reason people got heartburn when pregnant was that babies just grew amongst your organs and could pull at them. And my aunt was breast feeding her 2nd baby, and she didn't like feeding from one breast. Auntie's explanation was that one breast contained sweet milk, the other was salty....

theviewfromhalfwaydown · 13/10/2020 06:00

@StillWeRise I think that’s why I thought that. It’s really bad though as I was doing my history GCSE which had a big section on the troubles in Ireland so how I really should have known better.

Ddot · 13/10/2020 06:35

Wow desnol! I now think saying dont panic buy, is a stupid thing to say. I'm lucky I've got a chest freezer full of allotment stuff. I did stock up on pet supplies and long life milk, cant go to work without a cuppa. I would hope if I became ill I could rely on friends or neighbours to help if I ran out of essentials. My friend who I would like to say I've not seen for months, is having an op so went for routine covid test, he was positive but had no symptoms at all.

bluebluezoo · 13/10/2020 07:34

*She had 14 kids!

So we're guessing she decided she actually quite liked it!*

Or possibly, as she was your great gran, she was from an era where there was no contraception, sex was a man’s “right” within marriage, and consent wasn’t required...

Tomasinabombadil · 13/10/2020 08:15

VinylDetective
In Florida a waiter, on being told we came from England, asked if we’d driven there.

Same said to me by a senior couple whilst we were sunbathing around the pool at a motel in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, in the 1970’s. I can only assume that they thought we had driven down from New England.😂

honeylulu · 13/10/2020 08:54

This one is from my husband (who is actually quite intelligent but lacks logic). We were at Hagia Sofia in Istanbul looking at the religious mosaics including one of the Virgin Mary. I remarked that despite the impression given by the Catholic church, Mary didn't remain a virgin her whole life, as it says in the bible that Jesus had some brothers. Husband said "Really? Older or younger?"

GrandAltogether · 13/10/2020 09:16

[quote theviewfromhalfwaydown]@StillWeRise I think that’s why I thought that. It’s really bad though as I was doing my history GCSE which had a big section on the troubles in Ireland so how I really should have known better.[/quote]
Yes, I was sure that you knew perfectly well why you thought that, and that you should have known better in the circumstances -- but it was still funny. Grin

GrandAltogether · 13/10/2020 09:26

I must admit there's a family story about one of my great grans on the eve of her wedding being told by her mother what to expect, and she basically went "sod that!" And was adamant she wouldn't be doing any of that nonsense, believing it to be boring and possibly painful...

She had 14 kids!

So we're guessing she decided she actually quite liked it! Wink

I agree with @bluebluezoo -- this isn't remotely a laughing matter and in no way indicates that your great-grandmother found she enjoyed sex. In an era where contraception was unavailable, marital rape not even conceptualised, far less made illegal, and where men's 'marital rights' and women's enforced acquiescence to them was the norm, there are an awful lot of other possibilities for a woman having that many pregnancies.

My DH's grandmother, who died only five years ago in her eighties, had thirteen children, a stillbirth and at least five miscarriages, despite horrible gynae issues, and she was quite frank about the fact that she did it because if she didn't, her husband would have looked elsewhere, and contraception was unavailable in the country. Sad

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