I'm sick of renting, not feeling secure, putting up with dodgy appliances that aren't great but legally don't need replacing. Worrying about spending money to improve things and then being asked to move on? Not being able to make it our home because we have to stick to neutral. Paying extortionate rent knowing its not getting us any closer to paying off a mortgage, to owning our own home.
If we were paying cheap rent, had a sense of security, a greater sense of autonomy etc I wouldn't begrudge spending money on these things. I just feel we are paying a premium with no acknowledgement that it is meant to be our home. We have a big family and need a big house in a certain area for the schools our children attend.
In our last rental we had a great relationship with our landlord...we could do what we wanted in the home and were told we could stay as long as we wanted. We only moved as it wasn't big enough as our family grew. We improved the house, did things for the landlord so he only paid material costs for repairs etc. It felt like our home. I feel like we may have been spoilt as since moving, we have been made to feel privileged to live in the house despite the high rent, dated decor and appliances - which if we want improving, has to be done at our own cost by a professional and with no thanks.
We have previously owned homes and let one out so have been both sides of the fence. Changes of circumstances took us away from the property ladder.
I dream of owning again. I dont want the best of everything, I would be happy to own a doer-uper, a smaller home that we can extend eventually etc. I just want to make it a home, to know that money spent is our investment. But we don't have a deposit and I cannot see us being able to save for one until the kids are grown, especially given the covid situation has affected us financially too.
I know absolutely that we are privileged to have a house to live in and there are people far worse off, which is why I wonder AIBU? I just feel quite melancholy.