Is it ok.......

[Girlinterrupted35]

My almost 9 year old loves PE. She's got a lower limb deformity that's much better after several operations and reconstructive surgery but she tires easily and she has an obvious limp. The school are aware of her history. She also has DCD.
Recently she's been very upset and saying she hates one of the teachers (not like her at all). Another parent approached me few days ago and asked if my girl was ok as her son had told her he doesn't like the PE teacher because she's mean to my daughter. She filled me in on what he had witnessed and when I asked my daughter she confirmed, breaking down and saying that the teacher hated her.
My child has repeatedly asked for rests, and I while I understand the teacher might want to encourage her to try a bit more - the teacher has been calling her a "drama queen" and a "wuss". I have complained very forcefully to the school (but it's now half term) and I'm so angry. I want this woman to have no contact with my child - I don't send her to school to be verbally abused. What happened to positive language? So annoyed but am I over-reacting due to my child's disabilities?

You aren’t being unreasonable to want school to look into it and ensure the teacher is fully aware of what adjustments may be needed.

However it’s very unreasonable and unrealistic to expect her not to teach her.

That's is dreadful but I don't think you can demand no contact. You can demand retraining and education for the teacher and maybe the whole workforce could do with training on disabilities awareness.

I'd be ramping but you can force real positive change from this for your own child and any others that they come into contact with.

If this was happening to my child I would ask for a meeting/phone call and explain what you have been told and ask for them to speak to the teacher and to get back to you.

Or to ask for a meeting with you the teacher and the headteacher

But no I would not demand anything nor order the teacher to not teach your child

@Sirzy

You aren’t being unreasonable to want school to look into it and ensure the teacher is fully aware of what adjustments may be needed.

However it’s very unreasonable and unrealistic to expect her not to teach her.

Whether physical adjustments are necessary or not, insulting a child like that is absolutely unacceptable!

You cannot pick and choose what teachers your child comes into contact with, so YABU with that yes.

The obvious thing to do is raise it to the school and ensure that reasonable adjustments are made for your daughter.

You need to request a meeting with yourself, the teacher in question and the headteacher whilst your complaint is being dealt with.
This isn't appropriate behaviour for a teacher, and whilst I agree that you can't dictate who teaches your child you can dictate wether your child will be attending those lessons. I would consider telling the head that you don't want your child in that lesson until this has been dealt with in a manner you agree with and in a way that is best for your child.

You aren't being at all unreasonable. You need to meet with the teacher concerned and with the headteacher if necessary over it.

Get their version of events and explain very clearly why be your DD's medical issues mean that she cannot always take a full part in PE lessons. Say that rather than insulting her and being so dismissive of her disability they need to support her and listen when she needs a break.

You aren’t unreasonable at all. I would insist on a face to face meeting though and ask them for their complaint policy. Make them aware that you will involve the governors if the teacher continues. Absolutely disgraceful behaviour

Not unreasonable at all, I would be absolutely raging at this and my child would not be attending any lessons with this teacher until it was resolved to my satisfaction and the best interest of my child.

@Sirzy

You aren’t being unreasonable to want school to look into it and ensure the teacher is fully aware of what adjustments may be needed.

However it’s very unreasonable and unrealistic to expect her not to teach her.

It's really not unreasonable.

Op, I pulled my daughter from PE because of similar attitudes of the teachers. My dd is autistic, with low muscle tone and SPD and finds prolonged movement exhausting.

The PE teachers behaviour was not to believe her, push her to do things she said she couldn't and telling her that she had to participate because they didn't want to answer the other kids in her class when they asked them why she wasn't doing it (no one asked). It ended with them telling her "you can't not do PE"

Her anxiety is much better now she isn't doing it. Her class teacher fully supported her withdrawal btw!

I did state in the email that I went to the school that my child won't be in contact with her until there is a resolution - I didn't mean forever.
I won't hear anything for two weeks as it's obviously all closed for our holidays but I will await the reply/phonecall/zoom meeting/2 meter shout across the playground.
I think the thing that's really hurt me is that my daughter really likes PE and even though her abilities aren't the very best - she tries so hard. I feel like it's been a kick in the teeth for her somewhat.

I guess it does depend. I remember a girl and school who really didn,t try everyone said it,s her Asthma. No it was because she didn,t try.
However you said your daughter does like games. I think PE teachers are notorious for putting kids off. Perhaps the head of year is the person to go to.

I'm with Sirzy. You're right to complain and to expect things to change. Assuming there are grounds for the complaint, it's up to the school whether that means a different teacher or the teacher changing their behaviour, being more closely monitored etc. Your job is to advocate for your child, and keep complaining if things don't improve, and show her that you have her back and you don't accept her being treated like this. It is not your job to ensure an alternative PE teacher is provided.

YANBU it’s bullying isn’t it?! Terrible behaviour from that teacher.

I think you sound reasonable from your update

That is awful. I hope your daughter is OK and the school deal with it appropriately.

It sounds like the teachers been bullying and taking the piss out of her over her disability. Really heartbreaking

YANBU, that’s awful. I had a run in with a PE teacher too who was making no reasonable adjustments for my daughter who has a serious heart condition, 30% lung function on a good day and a serious spinal deformity.

Of course pursue with the school. I'm very impressed with the young man in the class who spoke to his mum, many would not have the empathy to think of others at that age. She has a good friend there

This woman has verbally abused your child and in doing so also upset other children, if it was my child there would absolutely be no further bloody contact, disgraceful behaviour. I'm a bit amazed at anyone saying no further contact is unreasonable.