LiveJasmin

[NameChangeEmbarrassedToo]

I know it's a porn site, but wondered what type of porn? Has my husband been chatting online with the women, he's also been to Spankbang and Brazzers. I don't like the idea of him watching porn, and he knows this. I can almost ignore the thought of him watching 'porn movies' but live porn just seems too personal. I'm not sure if he can chat directly with them on LiveJasmin? I haven't asked him, I know he will just deny it.

yes, he can, but it would be publicly. unless he pays for private chat where its basically webcamming.

It's a pop up from porn, so he's probably clicked on it, then browsed through what the girls are doing, make sure he hasn't got an actual account with them!

A very quick google -

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LiveJasmin

LiveJasmin is an adult website emphasizing live streaming and related services, typically featuring nudity and sexual activity ranging from striptease and dirty talk to masturbation with sex toys and full sexual intercourse. The models are predominantly female, however, there are also a fairly large number of male models, couple and trans performers.

It’s a web cam site but it often pops up if on other adult sites. It doesn’t mean he has clicked on anything or sought out that site.

Visiting a site doesn't mean he's been chatting to anybody. Any sex cam or one on one interaction would be pay per view. It would be on his bank statements.

Thanks for the quick replies, I don't have access to his personal bank statements. They're all online.

My god. Why is your bar for a life partner set so low?

@kantswife I hope not, I have no idea how to find out if he has an account. I feel bad for snooping but using a webcam would be the same as cheating for me.

Why do you ask? Is it in his history or something else?
Its a cam site, he might be logged in so you could look on his phone. Or click through from an email notification
Big hugs for you, it sucks and no doubt you will get porn apologists telling you its no biggie but it absolutely is. I've been there.

@QuentinWinters I saw it in his history which is not easy to find now with Apple's private browsing. The strangest thing was I took his phone when he was sleeping as he's been coming to bed late and I was suspicious of the late nights. His phone was starting to go flat so I put it on charge and left it to charge a bit, when I went back some of the history had deleted automatically, he was sound asleep at the time? Weird.

If someone were to look at any free porn site, 99 times out of 100 there will be a pop up add from live jasmin. It doesn’t mean he’s not actively using the site but it’s also highly likely that he isn’t. Whatever the reason for it being there if it’s something that bothers you I think you need to talk about it.

Well. I'd say bide your time and trust your gut. It took me 6 mths from being suspicious to finding out what was going on. I found it via a phone notification that X webcamgirl was online.

I suspect your reading far to much into this OP, Is he under a lot of stress lately. I know my DH tends to stay up when he's stressed and cannot sleep, so often stays up.
Its a proven fact that some people, especially men will masturbate more often when stressed as it releases tension and is no relation to you. I know for a fact my DH, watches porn and I don't mind its his personal choice I don't own his body, he even downloads it now and again for us to watch together when we have sex.

As Flumpet has already stated these sites pop up when visit a majority of Porn sites automatically and its hardly cheating as you don't even need a camera to view it yourself its more like live TV. I would be more concerned the reasons why you think its okay to sneak behind his back and check his phone, if it had been the other way round, most on here would be telling you to report him to the police or leave him. Your bigger issue is that your spying on him rather then actually communicating with him.

Would you rather he have a quick fiddle now and again in private hurting no one, or pester you for sex every two minutes if he has a higher sex drive than you? when you have had a long happy marriage like me for so long, you learn what's important and when to give him some privacy and space to do his thing. Most importantly he is with you not, physically intimate running around behind your back.

@QuentinWinters thanks, curious... what did you do? Was that the end of your relationship? It would be for me.

@NutNutmum thanks for your message, and appreciate your comments and views it's good to get different perspectives, I personally don't like porn but definitely don't want the webcams, I've got my head around prerecorded porn movies but how is private webcams any different to sexting someone? Especially since they usually return to the same girl they like. It's too personal for my liking and I would put the private webcams in the same category as cheating.

@NameChangeEmbarrassedToo Your welcome I just wanted to put some perspective on this for you as much as him.
Just out of interest would you consider, him watching a stripper cheating? These type of sites have large numbers of people watching all at the same time, as a show. So its not like its one on one, which I would draw the line at.
He could possibly pay an online model, for a one to one but that would cost a bit and you have zero evidence of this yet, so you are just upsetting yourself and thinking of the worst before you have all the facts.

I really think your best approach is to just ask him in a non confrontational way or he will 100% probably lie to you t avoid the confrontation. Decide your boundary's and tell him, if you can handle him having some me time with normal videos tell him so, but point out that web cams are step to far. Relationships are about communication and mutual agreements. Telling him that he is forbidden from a bit of self pleasure with out your knowledge will only end up in secrecy and diminishing of your relationship, after all you would not let him control you and your body like that.

Life is about win some and loose some, but keep a balance and respect. If you truly cannot live with a man who likes a bit of porn on the side, you need to decide if you want him in your life. He will not stop if you try to control him like that.

Excellent nutnut mum. Completely agree

If someone were to look at any free porn site, 99 times out of 100 there will be a pop up add from live jasmin. It doesn’t mean he’s not actively using the site but it’s also highly likely that he isn’t.
This with bells on. I've never actually viewed livejasmin but it's easily the most frequent pop-up ad, and appears in your search history.

Odds are he isn't using it.

I stayed the first time and left the second.
These sites are very cynical, its a gradual slippery slope from watching porn to hanging out on "free" cam sites, to paying for group sessions, to paying for one to ones.
In my case my exH was spending a lot on one to ones and had regulars he would chat with.
I did follow nutmums advice when I was first suspicious (after seeing an email) - he told me it was spam because he watched porn (which I knew) and obviously he would never do webcams because that would be cheating and he couldn't believe I'd think that from a spam email.
I believed him but 6 months later we'd both had a lot to drink and he went to bed before me without his phone. A notification popped up saying xwebcam girl was live so I clicked through and could see all his chat and private sessions.
I didn't leave then because he told me it was a porn addiction, said he would get help, said i wasn't giving him enough so he thought it was harmless. I also had 3 kids under 10, one of which was a baby and I was too ashamed to tell anyone. So I stayed.
He did stop porn for a bit but soon enough was back watching that, coming to bed late, and guarding his phone like a hawk. Took me 5 years to leave because I had no "proof" he was doing anything. But with hindsight the marriage was dead when he very first lied about using them and tried to make me feel guilty for doubting him.
To me the webcams are cyber prostitution and infidelity, I don't want to be with someone who buys sex.
Mind you I'm also not OK with my partner going to strip bars.
The sort of post nutmum wrote is why so many men do this shit. To me buying sex is incompatible with a healthy relationship or a respectful view of women.

Oh and yes he was still doing it and in mediation for divorce it turned out he'd spent thousands from our joint savings on it.

Would you rather he have a quick fiddle now and again in private hurting no one, or pester you for sex every two minutes if he has a higher sex drive than you? when you have had a long happy marriage like me for so long, you learn what's important and when to give him some privacy and space to do his thing
Stepford called, it wants its wives back

@QuentinWinters I agree webcams are cyber prostitution, it's paying for sexual gratification. End of. I had a discussion today with DP and made it very clear of my opinion, he agreed it was. We also spoke how these women could be being exploited and by partaking you become part of the problem, he agreed again. So if anything comes to light in the future he knows and agrees it's cheating and possibly exploiting woman. I know some women act in porn by their own free accord but some don't, they find themselves unable to get out of the situation, but that's another topic.