DP constantly swears

[baltan]

AIBU to get really agitated when DP swears at me for the tiniest things? I grew up around family and friends who don't swear much so when DP did that to me I feel really disrespected.

DP didn't think much of it and said it's just part of his everyday lingo.

Disrespectful and unacceptable. My husband and I have never sworn at each other. We swear around each other, but never directed to one another as an insult. What exactly does he say?

I think it depends on your comfort levels with swearing. Some people find all swearing unnecessary and aggressive, whereas some will drop f bombs all day long and punctuate every sentence with a curse word - but most people sit somewhere in the middle. I’m not super fussed about swearing personally, but don’t like it around kids.

Sounds like you and your DP sit on different ends of the comfort scale. But surely it’s something you noticed when you first got together, or is it a new change?

Oh sorry I misread - swearing AT you is very different!! And not on!!

DH and I swear quite a lot. Never at eachother.

I think it's all about the context. Dropping the odd swear work into conversation if it's within context wouldn't offend me personally. Swearing at you is totally unacceptable.

Swearing at each other is part of my friendships (and when i was dating, relationships). Its normal to me and affectionate more than anything, but you have to know your audience.

By "at" you, do you mean when annoyed/angry?

Agreed. DH swears like a trooper but never at me, barring the odd “for fuck’s sake” which half the time is not unreasonable in the circumstances. Can you give some examples of what he says?

Depends on his tone of voice and if it’s at you or not.

Agree with PPs. Don’t mind swearing around me, but won’t put up with swearing at me.

I wouldn't choose a man who swore at me for a partner. Sweary men get filtered out early on

When you say swear at you, do you mean aggressively? DH and I swear quite a bit, I'm not precious it's just words, BUT if it's directed towards each other it's always in jest, never name calling etc, if he's name calling and/swearing directed at you but not in jest then I absolutely would not tolerate that, nor would DH.

Can you elaborate? Do you mean he tells you to fuck off and calls you a bitch? Or does he just swear in general?

DP and I are very sweary ("cunt" is practically a term of endearment in this house, especially if prefaced by "soppy" or "daft"), but the nearest we've ever come to swearing at each other is for one of us to tell the other to fuck off.

But it's all in the manner imo. It's perfectly possible to abuse someone in an aggressive manner while using perfectly polite language, and to swear at someone affectionately.

If your DP is using swearing to intimidate you, belittle or humiliate you, then YANBU.

My partner and I both swear liberally. We do not swear at each other. In jest occasionally but only when it's very obviously in response to a bad joke. Never in anger or belittlement.

My OH is quite sweary but if he ever directed it at me nastily then he'd be out the door. We tell each other to FO is a jokey way but that's the limit.
I think we need more context/examples OP.

Totally depends on the relationship and people in it.
If DH says he's cut his thumb doing something silly, I'd call him a dickhead and ask how he was.
The same goes if I did it too.
We make jokes at the others expense which is always replied with "fuck off".
I don't think he'd say it if I had a problem with it, so I suppose that's part of the reason I don't feel disrespected, because he doesn't mean it.
If a stranger told me to fuck off I'd feel different.

If my OH told me I was thick (or many other non sweary words), I’d also be upset.

I really think it depends how he’s swearing.