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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how (or if) your 16 year olds are socialising at the moment?

23 replies

aghasta · 09/10/2020 21:38

In year 11 my DS had a lovely small group of friends and they took it in turns to host movie nights, sleepovers and (during the lockdown) garden picnics. Now he has moved to a new sixth form. He still sees his old friends occasionally but is making new ones. I'm a bit Hmm, as they keep inviting him to meet on Friday nights in local parks, which may have been pleasant in summer, but now that the dark nights are drawing in it seems a bit seedy. He's only been once so far, and for a short time as he needed to go on somewhere else. But I'm wondering whether this is going to be the extent of his social life for the foreseeable future.

Where are your 16 year olds hanging out? Or are they just not?

OP posts:
ScrapThatThen · 09/10/2020 22:10

I guess they don't know each other well enough yet for house or garden gatherings. Dd and friends in year 11 used to wander from someone's house to the shop to the playing fields. She hasn't met up with anyone from sixth form yet and now her year group are self isolating so can't anyway!

Original poster
aghasta · 09/10/2020 22:40

@ScrapThatThen

I guess they don't know each other well enough yet for house or garden gatherings. Dd and friends in year 11 used to wander from someone's house to the shop to the playing fields. She hasn't met up with anyone from sixth form yet and now her year group are self isolating so can't anyway!
Yes, and I guess they're also at an age where they don't want parents too close by. DS said there was some drinking going on (not by him though - he was on his way to basketball thank goodness).
OP posts:
TheSunIsStillShining · 09/10/2020 22:54

Mine hangs out with his friends on Discord. I prefer that to shady parks though.

CostaCosta · 09/10/2020 23:01

I went for a run tonight and there must have been about 20 teenagers hanging around our local duck pond.

QueenofLouisiana · 09/10/2020 23:13

Slightly younger as still in yr11, they hang out online mainly. Hours spent yelling down their headsets on xboxes. DS meets a few mates in person for sports or organised stuff.

I’d like to think he keeps social distance from his girlfriend but I’m assuming not in reality. They go out to a cafe for drinks as it’s the only way they can be indoors without masks.

Alexandernevermind · 09/10/2020 23:20

I'm dreading this. My DD is 15 and just meets friends in the daytime at weekends. There's no way she'll be allowed to go to the park at night next year. Me and my friends were in the pubs and nightclubs at weekends at 16 (back in the 90's) - we caught the bus to the local city and one of our dads would pick us up! We would never have been allowed in the parks at night, and oddly enough I know we were a hell of a lot safer in the pubs! Its different times now.

TrainspottingWelsh · 09/10/2020 23:21

Mainly sports and online. Stayed on at the same school for sixth form, however in a change from y11 and dsd's peer group a few years ago there is far more emphasis on parks etc than on the usual gatherings at houses/ indoor venues.

CoRhona · 09/10/2020 23:55

Away from Sixth Form, mostly socialising online but every now and then they meet up in a nearby field or park. DS2 (16) did that tonight and was home by 10.30pm, having kept in regular text contact all evening. So we weren't concerned.

thereplycamefromanchorage · 10/10/2020 00:00

DC, 16, met up with friends tonight in a local park. Not really happy about it, because pre Corona, they would have been somewhere safer like each other's houses. I don't feel it's fair to stop DC seeing friends when this is the only way how, but I am not happy about it. No alcohol, they just took snacks, but it's quite a wild area (as in a large expanse of woods and fields) and it feels a bit strange.

fairynick · 10/10/2020 00:04

I usually went to the pub or house parties that age, or if failing that out for food or something. A bit too old for hanging about in the park surely?

tenlittlecygnets · 10/10/2020 00:04

Dd is 17. She meets friends after school at Subway or McDs. Sitting outside where they can. No meetings in parks!

fairynick · 10/10/2020 00:05

Omg I completely forgot about Covid for a second!! If I was that age I’d defo be going to the park and having a few drinks, guess there’s nothing really else to do with pubs limiting numbers on tables and I guess parents won’t be impressed with many visitors/ allowing house parties will they. Such a shame for them.

cheninblanc · 10/10/2020 00:07

16 year old dd went out for dinner with friends in a big local shopping centre tonight. 2 back here for a fancy coffee. Still under rule of 6 but I know where she is with freedom

spickles · 10/10/2020 00:11

My year 12 daughter has just got back from hanging out in a group of six in the park. I really don't like it but she stays in contact and I can see her iPhone on my find app. What other choice do they have... it's a terrible time isn't it. I can't have anyone in my garden anymore because we are a family of 5. So weak have to go out to socialise. Starting sixth form after the horror show of this year they really need an outlet. I just can't wait until they are 18 and can go to bars ! Seems much safer

AlexaShutUp · 10/10/2020 00:15

My dd is 15. She is not socialising that much at all at the moment. She went for lots of daytime walks with friends in the summer, and is still doing some walks from time to time, but not as much now because of the weather. She has been to one friend's house (well, garden), but her group are not generally meeting up at home. She has been out to a couple of cafes for lunch/drinks. Her friends aren't really the type to hang out in the park at night, so that's it tbh.

She obviously sees her friends in school, and also at some of her activities which have partially resumed. She is definitely seeing fewer people in her free time - not because I've stopped her, but just because they're all generally doing less. She is spending much more time on her phone though!

PomBearWithoutHerOFRS · 10/10/2020 00:46

My almost 16 year old has been going to sleepovers at weekends, but we've been out into local lockdown so that's out now. He socialises via PlayStation now. He's never wanted to go "out" and hang around in the cold and wet and dark though, and couldn't now anyway.
I would be reluctant to allow it even without lockdown, I remember all too well what my friends and I got up to in parks at night at that age!

RiojaRose · 10/10/2020 01:15

Mine is meeting 4-5 friends in the park most weekends. There is sometimes drink. I’m slightly concerned about the impending darkness, but I’ve talked to some of the other parents and although we’re a bit anxious we’re generally in hourly contact with our kids when they’re out together. And they’re usually home by 10. I’d start worrying if I didn’t get replies to my texts but I have my DD’s friends’ numbers just in case.

toffeekiwi · 10/10/2020 01:44

Online via discord, Snapchat and the Xbox or their tutor WhatsApp

Pikachubaby · 10/10/2020 08:40

The teens that I meet at our local park often like to smoke weed/drink

My 15yr old does not drink/smoke for religious reasons and has stopped going to park meet ups as he feels left out a bit and says they put lots of pressure on him

I wish he socialised more

But yeah, the park thing is normal and nothing to be really alarmed about, but it is so they get to do stuff adults might not approve of

lljkk · 10/10/2020 08:44

Online gaming, but no in person meet ups except between lessons at the college. DS is pretty shy, though.

Original poster
aghasta · 10/10/2020 08:52

DS said there were about 12 meeting in the park, so more than 6. It's very dark and woody though they're fairly close to the gate. He knows I'm not happy about him going, and gets it, but is torn because he wants to make new friends and not miss out. It's a classic teen dilemma with added Covid restrictions. I'm actually just hoping it will rain every Friday night for the foreseeable future. Luckily his basketball training means he could only ever drop by for an hour at most, but I worry about the other kids - can't help wondering if their parents know where they are.

OP posts:
Serin · 10/10/2020 08:57

A cafe in a local antiques centre is letting them in and staying open later.. How very rock n roll, bless em.

AGoatAteIt · 10/10/2020 09:04

My young teenager mostly chats (loudly) to her friends on FaceTime. She goes out for SD walks in the daytime with some of them a few streets away but not with the ones who live a train ride away as due to Covid I don’t want her using the train (and the train company doesn’t count socialising as a necessity, which is fair enough).

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