What did he mean by this?

[Hels69]

My ex came round yesterday to collect his things. We had been together 4 years. Lived together for 2. He loved me so much. Everyone always commented on it.
I stopped trusting him after he lied about something and we then spent a month arguing and me wanting to check his phone etc. He finally had enough and dumped me out of the blue.
I have been devestasted.. Really ill over it all. We were planning marriage etc.. I don't know when that all changed. We were happier than ever during lock down. Loved spending all our time together.
His parents don't like me and I strongly believe that factored into his decision. He is very much a mamas boy.. Even calls her to ask what colour socks he should buy lol.
Anyway we spent the whole day together yesterday. We hugged and kissed all day watched a film had takeout. He cried a lot. We lay in bed hugging and kissing and he asked me if I had made peace with the breakup. I asked if if he had and he replied no not really. I said I hadn't either. I wish I had asked him what he meant by this.. Made peace? He asked me a few times how I had been feeling and each time I said I had been fine because I don't want to tell him I have actually been a mess.
Iam just so confused by the whole thing. A month ago he was talking marriage and saying he couldn't live without me and now we are like this?
We are both mid twenties.

Oh god your well rid.

Big Hug because it's bloody hard breaking up with someone you still love 🌷

I'm not sure you'll listen, because I didn't at the time, but what you need to do is make a clean break and move forward. Stop trying to go backwards!

Stop massaging his ego & being his back up plan.

It's hard because he's all you've known as an adult, but give it time & you'll meet someone who doesn't fancy just work colleague & who doesn't lie to you. Someone who properly loves you & treats you with respect. That's what you deserve - being someone's number 1, not being truer back up plan!

It's not an easy time to 'see friends' & 'keep busy' but it's what you need to stop

Go cold Turkey, stop all contact & definitely stop hugging/kissing/sex. You'll never get past this point of pain if you don't!

So many red flags and reasons you should not get back together:

• He lied to you (a huge lie)
• His family don’t like you
• He is very dependent on his mummy

Don’t do it. You need to stop all contact.

She's gone. It's sunk in he's on his own he wants a 'back up' option whilst he's looking for the one. Sorry op. For your own good and to help you get time and space between you avoid seeing him for a good few months. Liars are 'repeat offenders

That is a huge red flag kind of lie OP.
You did right to press him for answers after that.
If nothing untowards was happening he would have said "I am going out with a colleague that is been transferred soon". Nothing weird with that.
It is hard now, but it will be for your own good.
I do sense some manipulation on his side. He lies about going out with another woman. Refuses to redeem himself by being transparent with his phone. Leaves you because "you do not trust him" (rightly so!). And now he is stringing you along by kissing and hugging on the same day he leaves. Do not allow him to touch you or make you question yourself. You see, if he twists everything around enough making you question yourself, he may get to keep you and keep going out with others..... with your (unintended) permission.
You deserve someone who does not lie like this

It sounds like he wants you to admit you were wrong and ask him to come back to you.

If you do, he will come back but you will never be able to challenge his lying again.

The only way you could get back with him is if he acknowledged he shouldn’t have lied in the first place and in return you can trust him - you would both need to acknowledge where you went wrong but honestly it doesn’t sound that he wants that. It sounds like he wants to be able to actively pursue other women.